It turns out that overly bendy ankles, almost-four year olds and trampolines don’t mix. It also turns out that pregnancy, work deadlines and sleep deprivation don’t make me a role-model when it comes to nursing a sick child.
On Saturday, Frog broke her leg in two places, meaning she’ll be in cast for at least four weeks – just enough time to cram in her fourth birthday party in cast. Great timing.
We’re currently holed up at my parents’ house, so I have someone to help me carry my surprisingly heavy, cast-ridden little girl around during the day until she gets used to living with one working leg.
It also means I can still attempt to get some work done in between carrying my fiercely independent child to the toilet, fetching her snacks, keeping boredom at bay, administering doses of Calpol and being on hand for regular cuddles when the pain gets too bad.
In case you were wondering (I know you were), here are five things that are more fun having a child in a cast:
1) Being chased by a pack of wild, rabid dogs.
2) Going on a dinner date with Michael Gove.
3) Walking down the local high street wearing nothing but an “alter lateral flash thong” as modelled by the TOWIE boys in Marbella last week.
4) Stepping over a football pitch of LEGO, barefoot.
5) Spending five hours reading a marathon of smug, boastful Facebook status updates when you’re having a less-than-perfect day yourself.