Like the rest of the world, I am a BIG fan of Orange is the New Black. I gorged on both seasons within a fortnight each and, when the last episode was finished, I wondered what I would do with the OITNB shaped hole in my life.
I love the show for the addictive plot lines, strong female characters and incredible writing. But that’s not all. Somewhere into the second series I started to draw some comparisons with the life of the inmates in Orange is the New Black and my own life as a mum.
Stick with me on this one…
5 Ways Orange is the New BLACK is like Parenthood:
1. Sleep in the pitch dark becomes a thing of the past.
My daughter’s scared of the dark. So, like the inmates in OITNB, we sleep with a bright landing light on all the way through the night. In fact, I’ve become so used to sleeping with the light on that I wonder if I, too, am now afraid of the dark.
2. Every second of your day – from when you wake up to when you go to bed – is now dictated by another person.
Fancy a lie-in? Fat chance. Want a late night? Good luck with that. How about skipping lunch and planning a spontaneous late evening meal out instead? Keep dreaming. Parenting young children means a schedule that revolves around someone else’s needs. The orders are barked at you from the moment you wake up in the morning. Sound familiar?
3. Opportunities to wear swanky clothes are now slim to none.
Of course you COULD wear your five inch heels, mini dress and blingtastic jewellery to the local baby and toddler group, but it would make dealing with a tantruming toddler that bit harder. And everyone knows babies are like magpies – the tiniest hint of bling and their hands work like magnets, drawn towards the shiny light. It’s the reason the holes in my ears have now closed up, after a terrifying incident with a pair of dangly earrings and my (then) baby’s vice-like grip. Like the girls in OITNB I mainly exist at home in stained jersey jumpers ranging from grey to black to beige.
4. You can no longer go for a poo in peace.
The toilets in the OITNB prison are busy places, full of conversation and bitching. There’s only one cubicle with a door, so the women have to get used to doing their business in full view of another person. Rather like life in my house then. And if I do manage to get into the bathroom and close the door, it’s seconds before a tiny hand is banging on the other side shouting, “WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN THERE? IS IT A WEE OR A POO? HURRY UP!”
5. The excitement of a night out is replaced by eating your favourite bar of chocolate on a Friday night.
There’s nothing like the thrill of receiving commissary goodies for the ladies in OITNB. When nights out disappear that chocolate bar takes on a whole new level of thrill. I know how they feel.
Any more similarities you can think of?
[Photo credit: Netflix press centre]Disclosure: I’m a member of the Netflix Parent Blogger Stream Team. But I really do love Orange is the New Black with the heat of a thousand suns. Despite the conclusions you may draw from this post, I also rather like being a mum to my beautiful girl. Except when she’s asking if it’s a “poo or a wee Mummy?”