It happened in slow motion.
My wonky toddling almost-2 year old scrambled down from the sofa to walk three steps to the table. In her hands she carried a pot with cubes of cheese. So intent on this cheese was she, that she failed to pay proper attention to her steps.
This is particularly important when you’re a child of the hypermobile variety and steps are still an issue.
Everything slowed down, as she tripped and her head came crashing down, down, down…. to land smack on the corner of the table.
Cue huge screams and desperate hitting of the forehead, as if she’d been stung by a large bee.
No bee, but an ever-increasing swelling the size of a large egg. Angry and red, turning purple.
On calling the (self-proclaimed) Northern Love Machine and announcing, “We need to go to A and E. Now,” I was met with exactly what one doesn’t do in a crisis. Especially not when a screaming child is involved.
NLM: What’s up?
Me: She’s hit her head, we need to go to hospital.
NLM: Is she OK?
(On seeing her) NLM: *wails* *cries* *sobs actual tears* Oh NO! NOOOOOO! NOOOOOOOOOOO! What should we do? I don’t know what to do? Oh God. GOD! Is she going to die? Is that her brains? What should we do? I don’t know what to do! NOOOOOO! *sob*
Fifteen minutes later, safely esconced behind the wheel of the car, the NLM was laughing. “I’m not very good in a crisis am I?”
I didn’t like to say anything.
(The egg swelling, 3 hours later and home from hospital.)