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You are here: Home / MOTHERHOOD / Babies / The day I had a baby

The day I had a baby

October 8, 2014 by Molly 35 Comments

This is a long post. Forgive me.

I wasn’t going to write about the birth, once this baby eventually made an appearance. I’ve always thought birth is an intensely personal experience and I hated the idea of being self-indulgent with a birth story plastered all over the internet. Throughout this pregnancy, though, I’ve gradually changed my mind. Reading about other women’s labours has helped me stay positive and balance out all the screamy birth scenarios you see on films and TV. I still wasn’t sure if I’d write about my own labour, but my mind is now made up. So, here it is. The day I had a baby…

40 weeks pregnant

Last Sunday started with the most delicious lie-in ever. With Frog at my parents’ the (self-proclaimed) Northern Love Machine and I both slept in until around 9am. I woke up, had an indulgent morning bath with my book and we ate bacon sarnies and drank our tea while it was still hot. I deliberately kept my phone off.

Sunday morning marked 41 weeks pregnant for me. Eight days past my due date I was trying hard to stay calm, remembering that my baby would arrive when he or she was ready. With Frog appearing twelve days past her due date I’d been here before, but the regular “Any baby yet?” questions from well meaning people were starting to stress me out a bit. So I turned my phone off and deliberately avoided all social media. I felt like I was on the edge of losing my calm – like when I was pregnant with Frog, the last week was proving the hardest.

I faffed about a bit doing some dusting, reading my book, doing a bit of yoga – all the exciting stuff. Then we went for a walk in the countryside near our house. It was a crisp, sunny autumn day. I’d had mild period like pains for a few days but nothing dramatic, so I was trying to forget the fact I was pregnant and relax. Easier said than done when you’ve got half a stone of baby inside you. 

Later that afternoon my mum brought Frog back home and took over bath and bedtime duties with the NLM while I put my feet up. Mum had already told me she was at my disposal and would stay with us to keep me company until I wanted her to clear off. When I went into labour with Frog my mum had unexpectedly turned up, so maybe it was a sign…

Around 8pm on Sunday evening I went to the toilet and felt a gush. Sorry for TMI here – but if you will read a birth story… Anyway, because I’m clearly such a pro at childbirth I didn’t think much of it, blaming the gush on an unexpected wee that I hadn’t realised I still needed. Yeah, I know. I didn’t mention it to my mum or the NLM but noticed around ten minutes later that I felt damp. Mortified that I might be wetting myself without realising it I ‘fessed up to my mum that either my pelvic floor was even worse than I thought or perhaps my waters had gone.

I rang the delivery suite just in case. “Err, this is probably going to make me sound a bit stupid, but I think my waters have gone,” I said. “Either that or I’ve done a big wee – I’m not really sure.” Luckily the midwife didn’t laugh at me. She asked a few questions and said she reckoned it was my waters and advised me to stay at home and ring if anything exciting happened. She was calm and I felt instantly OK. Perhaps something was happening at last.

Within half an hour I was getting contractions. I made a decision at the beginning of this pregnancy to prepare as well as I could for the birth. Frog’s delivery was pretty text book, with a five hour labour. But I lost my nerve at the beginning, feeling scared and unsure if I could get through it. I really didn’t want to feel that fear again this time and that’s the reason I chose early on to go to a weekly pregnancy yoga class and to listen to regular meditation and hypnobirthing CD’s. As a natural stress head I knew I needed some tools to avoid blind panic once things kicked off. And, luckily for me, it worked.

With each contraction at home I breathed through the sensation imagining a wave that I had to get to the top of. I moved my hips and got on all fours and went through every yoga position that I knew would help. I felt like I needed to keep moving, so I lit some candles, put on some music and my mum massaged my back while the NLM emailed last minute lesson plans through to work.

Two hours later I rang the delivery suite who patched me through to the birth centre where I was booked to have my baby. My contractions weren’t in any particular pattern, but they were getting more and more intense and were coming pretty close together. They told me to come in – but I was convinced I’d probably get there and be sent home again, after finding out I wasn’t in “active labour”.

The NLM and I arrived at the birth centre at 11pm. I was immediately greeted by a smiling and calm midwife. “You’re probably going to send me home because I’m not in proper labour,” I told her. She just laughed and said, “Let’s get you in your room and have a chat shall we?”.

We were shown into a lovely birthing room, with a bed, an en-suite bathroom and a huge water birth pool. Immediately the midwife dimmed the lights, drew the curtains against the door and started chatting to us. While we were chatting I had a few contractions, moaning my way up the wave of pain and breathing down the other side. I still had no idea how far dilated I was. After twenty minutes or so the midwife gave me two options – either she could examine me and see how my labour was progressing or I could just get straight in the water birth pool. “I’m in no doubt you’re in labour,” she told me. “I’m happy to just let you go with it and we can see what happens. You never know, we might even meet your baby within the next couple of hours.”

Getting in the pool just after 11.30pm I still had no idea if I was dilating or what was going on down there (I mean, obviously I knew I was having a baby imminently – but you know what I mean). For me, not knowing was better. If I’d been told I was only 3cm dilated then I risked losing my sense of calm – a bit like if I was running a marathon and found out I’d still got 25 miles to go.

The water felt amazing. It was like a huge bath and I could completely submerge myself in it – even when I wanted to kneel up. I moved around in the water, going on all fours, kneeling up, leaning over the edge, breathing, breathing, breathing. The NLM put on some meditation music – it was all very Glastonbury meditation field zen. But, for once, the NLM didn’t make a joke about it.

He was amazing actually – he didn’t laugh at my choice of tunes (trust me – this is a big deal) and he massaged my back with every contraction. He was there with me through each one and I honestly don’t know that I’ve ever felt closer to him. It was like he was in tune with me – we’re not a hugely demonstrative couple; we exist on banter, jokes and the rule that people aren’t allowed to take themselves too seriously. But he was quiet and thoughtful and completely calm.

Within 45 minutes after getting in the pool I felt the urge to push. There wasn’t even time to have a paracetamol – this baby was nearly here. I moaned and made animal like noises, while I let my body take over. The midwife was amazing, reminding me to breathe and encouraging me. Five minutes later I felt my baby slip into the water. I reached down and brought her up onto my chest, sobbing.

New baby girl

“It’s a girl!” the NLM and I both cried out at the same time. “I’m properly outnumbered now!” joked the NLM. “And she looks just like her sister!”. (The above is a photo of our new baby girl, the picture below is a picture of her big sister at just minutes old.)

Brand new baby

It’s surreal, because I can so clearly recall every part of the experience. Afterwards I felt shaky and cold – a bit in shock I suppose – but completely “with it”. I lay naked on the bed, covered in nothing but a towel and some blankets, with my baby snuggled against me. After an hour or so I got up and had an incredible shower and got dressed into some comfy clothes. I was given the option to stay the rest of the night in the hospital or go home. By 4am we walked through our door with our new baby girl.

My mum greeted us with a grin – the whole thing felt like a dream because it had happened so quickly. The NLM made us all a cup of tea and I went to check on Frog. She woke up, so I told her she had a new baby sister waiting to meet her downstairs. Immediately she picked up her “blankie” and came downstairs with a look of disbelief plastered over her face.

Frog met her new baby sister at 4.30am on Monday morning, before we all went to bed to get a couple of hours sleep before Monday started properly.

Sisters

If you’ve made it to the end of this mammoth post (the longest post in the history of posts!) then thank you for reading.

Welcome to the world new baby…

A few hours old

(She does have a name by the way, but as with her big sister we’ve chosen not to use it on the blog. Needless to say it’s a special name that we love and Frog thoroughly approves.)

P.S. Apologies to anyone who follows me on Twitter or Instagram. I’m trying very hard not to be a baby spammer but it’s proving difficult!

 

If you’re looking for more birth stories, pregnancy advice and general baby chat then you might find the site Belly Belly particularly useful.

Filed Under: Babies, MOTHERHOOD Tagged With: birth, birth stories, labour, maternity, positive labour experience, water birth

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Comments

  1. Adele @ Circus Queen says

    November 13, 2014 at 11:11 pm

    Oh my goodness, Molly. I’m sitting here crying over your beautiful, beautiful birth story. What a lovely way to welcome your beautiful baby girl into the world. I was absolutely melted by that picture of the two sisters! I think positive birth stories are so, so helpful. We need more of this out there.

    Reply
    • Molly says

      November 16, 2014 at 9:25 pm

      It was an incredibly positive experience. Weirdly (and I never thought I’d say this) but I felt like I could do it all again afterwards. How strange is that?!!

      Reply
  2. Shamanth says

    October 11, 2014 at 9:14 pm

    Wonderful birth experience, my second was slightly more traumatic.congratulations she is gorgeous!

    Reply
  3. Bex @ The Mummy Adventure says

    October 10, 2014 at 7:11 pm

    What an amazing story, my second was very similar, just without my waters going, but I went to the mlu convinced they would send me home! Your little one is absolutely gorgeous and I can’t wait to see more pictures! x

    Reply
  4. Liz Burton says

    October 10, 2014 at 3:49 pm

    What a beautiful birth story, exactly what I wanted- didn’t quite turn out like that for me, but hey!

    Beautiful girl, congratulations to you all x

    Reply
  5. The Breastest News says

    October 10, 2014 at 8:48 am

    Congratulations! She looks gorgeous and yes so much like the photo of Frog. Hope you are all settling in well and enjoying your new bundle of joy 🙂 x

    Reply
  6. Kirsty Wyatt says

    October 10, 2014 at 4:02 am

    Lovely story. It sounds like you had a really positive birth experience. Congratulations!

    I’ve been meaning to attend my local pregnancy yoga class; I just need to get over the hurdle of being the newbie!

    Reply
  7. jane says

    October 9, 2014 at 6:18 pm

    Molls you made me sob.. congrats again. love the four of you x

    Reply
  8. anna tims (@ageingmatron) says

    October 9, 2014 at 6:07 pm

    Very many congratulations.

    Reply
  9. Kelly says

    October 9, 2014 at 4:07 pm

    Oh god Molly – my pregnancy hormones have just gone into overload. Completely wonderful (and seriously reassuring) story, beautifully written.

    I am now seriously regretting now starting the yoga sooner – I’m booked to start Saturday but at 29 weeks I worry it’s too late to have an impact.

    She is absolutely stunning too – the picture of her and Frog is just gorgeous!!!

    x

    Reply
  10. Lucy DearBeautiful says

    October 9, 2014 at 12:54 pm

    awwww, just beautiful! It sounds like it was such a positive birth experience, I’m a stress-head by nature too, and I think that fear was by biggest problem both times. So amazing to hear how much you just went with it, this kind of reads like the perfect birth story; calm, controlled, supportive people and a beautiful baby at the end. Congratulations to you all!!! x

    Reply
  11. Capture by Lucy says

    October 9, 2014 at 10:47 am

    I feel like my heart was in my mouth reading this, what a beautiful piece of writing and I could feel the intensity growing as the story unfolded! Welcome to the world indeed, what a kind girl you are, I felt the same when I had Ollie, I feel like I conquered my labour demons from the first time! A matching pair just like us, it will be a joy to see your sisters grow up together, congratulations you lovely family xxxx

    Reply
  12. Pinkoddy says

    October 9, 2014 at 10:21 am

    very well done. What an inspirational birth story. So calm and peaceful. So much love.

    Congratulations she is beautiful.

    Reply
  13. Joy says

    October 9, 2014 at 10:20 am

    Such a beautiful and well written post. Congrats on the new addition to your family. Child birth is a really surreal experience

    Reply
  14. Charlotte - Write Like No One's Watching says

    October 9, 2014 at 10:10 am

    I cried. Oh goodness I cried. At work. She’s beautiful. You’re amazing. And that photo of the two of them is probably one of the loveliest things I’ve seen recently. Well done. Proud of you. xx

    Reply
  15. Susan Mann says

    October 9, 2014 at 9:59 am

    What a lovely birth story. Congratulations xx

    Reply
  16. Verily Victoria Vocalises says

    October 9, 2014 at 9:56 am

    Molly, she is totally beautiful. I had a very similar birth experience with Grace – yoga, pool, etc (although I was a LOT longer than this!) – I wholeheartedly recommend it 🙂 Congratulations to you all xx

    Reply
  17. Emma says

    October 9, 2014 at 9:15 am

    Awww, you made me cry Molly 🙂 Congratulations. xxx

    Reply
  18. Liska @NewMumOnline says

    October 9, 2014 at 8:45 am

    What a heart warming birth story. Cried reading this. No wonder you wanted to share it. SO SO SO incredibly beautiful xx

    Reply
  19. domestic goddesque says

    October 9, 2014 at 8:22 am

    Well done my friend: the birth I always wished for. So pleased you have the luxury of raising sisters. x

    Reply
  20. Jodie says

    October 9, 2014 at 7:46 am

    This post had me in tears. I’m so pleased for you that everything went so smoothly. She does look exactly like her sister. Congratulations!

    Reply
  21. Carie says

    October 9, 2014 at 7:45 am

    That’s a lovely birth story; I’m so glad all went well and she is absolutely beautiful 🙂

    Reply
  22. Milly says

    October 9, 2014 at 6:35 am

    Congratulations, wonderful news & so happy all went well with birth. Welcome to the world Frog 2! x

    Reply
  23. Mary @asturiandiary says

    October 9, 2014 at 6:33 am

    What a wonderful birth story. Just wonderful. Congratulations!! Xx

    Reply
  24. Annwen says

    October 9, 2014 at 6:21 am

    Congratulations! I’ve been really quiet on social media this week and didn’t know you’d had her! She’s beautiful and that’s honestly one of the most moving birth stories I’ve ever read. Well done you and welcome the the world baby girl xx

    Reply
  25. Penny Carr says

    October 9, 2014 at 6:21 am

    And the prize for the calmest, most perfect birth story I’ve ever read goes to Molly! Wow – so pleased for you all. Many many congratulations! xxx

    Reply
  26. Katie @mummydaddyme says

    October 9, 2014 at 5:58 am

    What a beautiful story Molly, I had tears in my eyes reading this. It sounds like it was a perfect birth experience. And my gosh doesn’t she look like Frog? Beautiful. Welcome again to the world Little Lady. Xx

    Reply
  27. Kara says

    October 9, 2014 at 5:54 am

    sounds like a wonderful birth experience and that you got the birth you wanted.
    Huge congratulations to you all xxxx

    Reply
  28. ghostwritermummy says

    October 9, 2014 at 5:51 am

    Oh Molly, what a beautiful story. I am actually in tears reading this as it all sounds so perfect and I am so happy for you. What a wonderfully calm experience, and how beautiful your precious girl is. I hope you do spam us all with photos as she is totally worth it. Enjoy lovely lady. Lots of love x x x x x

    Reply
  29. Hannah Budding Smiles says

    October 9, 2014 at 12:48 am

    I loved reading thus Molly! Really pleased to read of such a positive birth, congratulations.! She’s gorgeous xx

    Reply
  30. Gill Crawshaw says

    October 8, 2014 at 9:54 pm

    Utterly lovely, so pleased you wrote this! So glad you had the kind of birth you wanted (it’s giving me hope it is possible). Congratulations again xx

    Reply
  31. Chrissy says

    October 8, 2014 at 9:39 pm

    Beautiful Labour post hun and congratulations! She’s gorgeous xx

    Reply
  32. Helen Porter says

    October 8, 2014 at 9:27 pm

    awww what a beautiful birth story it gave me goose pimples reading it I am glad everything went so well and its unreal how alike the baby photos are!
    a huge congratulations on your baby girl she is beautiful!

    Reply
  33. Stephs Two Girls says

    October 8, 2014 at 9:25 pm

    Awww, she’s gorgeous. Sounds like a great birth! Congrats x

    Reply

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  1. Meet the Finalists 2015: Mother’s Always Right | Tots 100 says:
    August 8, 2015 at 8:53 am

    […] is a pretty impossible question, and my mind changes depending on my mood! But this post about my second daughter’s birth is a pretty special one. I wrote it two days after I’d given birth to her. It was like the […]

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Hello and welcome! I'm Molly Forbes - podcaster, presenter and blogger with a passion for positivity, confidence and body image chat. Regularly writing and vlogging about empowering female issues from a motherhood angle, I also cover lifestyle and fashion topics for like-minded mums who want to rediscover themselves after having children. Thanks for stopping by! Read More…

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I am not “bossing” it. Or “slaying”. Or “hustling”. Or “smashing” it. I’m not even juggling or spinning plates or doing any of the other words we use as a glossy, marketable, Instagram friendly way to package up burnout culture, under the guise of “empowering” women (💪🤢). 
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What I have been doing, though, is working too hard. Call a spade a spade. I’ve been working too hard, neglecting my health, my relationships, my life away from my laptop. I cannot be everything to everyone AND work at the level I’ve been working at BECAUSE I AM A HUMAN BEING. And you are too. We are not robots.
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I care deeply about all my work, and things aren’t always this intense, but I wanted to sprinkle some reality into the Gram because I am so over this lie that *any* type of success or achievement doesn’t come at a cost, or involve many failures in the background, or require many other people to help make things happen. 
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I guess what I’m saying is, let’s be real about all that, as well as showing the achievements. I’m bloody proud of my book. And I’m so excited to launch the social enterprise @bodyhappyorg properly next month. But that doesn’t mean it’s easy, and that there isn’t a price. 
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And with that, I’m taking the weekend off. See you on the other side 🥰🥰🥰
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[Image description: Molly sits in her office with her hands covering her mouth. On the back of one hand is written “Not bossing it”. She is wearing a pink boiler suit with a black and white top underneath. She has pink leopard print earrings on and her hair is tied back.]
This was taken at the start of half term, when the This was taken at the start of half term, when the kids were still enthusiastic about going for a walk. 1,705 walks around the same bit of countryside later... not so much 😬 
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If you’re struggling to get your kids motivated to move their body at the moment, go gentle. You’re not alone. Bad weather coupled with boredom coupled with the lure of screens is a heady recipe for lethargy - and that’s just me! 
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Seriously though, remember: all movement is valid. Even if it’s just a ten minute @cosmickids sesh or a little kitchen disco, it all counts. And if it comes from a place of enjoyment and fun, kids (and adults!) are going to be far more likely to want to get involved.
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What joyful movement activities are your kids enjoying right now (if any?!)?
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[Image description: Molly and her two daughters are standing in a field. They’re wearing colourful wellies, holding hands and smiling.]
I founded a social enterprise 😵 . Introducing: I founded a social enterprise 😵
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Introducing: @bodyhappyorg 🎉
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We are a Community Interest Company dedicated to promoting positive body image in children. We help adults help the kids in their care be friends with their bodies 🥰. 
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Through workshops and classes, digital and physical resources (both free and paid) we help parents, carers, teachers, youth leaders - and any adults who are ever around children - create body happy settings for kids to thrive in. 
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We launch officially next month with a beautiful new website and lots of resources which we’ll continually be adding to. In the meantime give us a follow at @bodyhappyorg - we start posting from today and our page has been designed as a free resource on its own! 
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I’m privileged to work alongside an incredible team of people on this. Shout-out to the original dream team @chelseacoxstrategist @amysnellingpt @effinitupfaye @lottie_storey @bodyconfidencecards_db @rachel_hobnobs & @aceandping 💕 LOVE YOU ALL! 💕
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[Image description: A blue square with yellow and white text which reads “the body happy org”. This is the logo for The Body Happy Organisation CIC]
Proof that I did wear clothes other than a tea-sta Proof that I did wear clothes other than a tea-stained hoodie and tracksuit bottoms at least once in the past month 😐
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[Image description: Molly is wearing pink dungarees with yellow buttons over a black rollneck long-sleeved top. She has a monochrome striped hairband on and her hair is pink. She is also wearing earrings with boobs on them. She looks very pleased, both with her earrings, the pink hair and the fact she’s not wearing sleepwear, for a change.]
A new report from the Education Policy Institute h A new report from the Education Policy Institute has concluded an obvious gender divide in the well-being of young adults. If you’d like to read more check out this article by Eleanor Peake in @newstatesman (I’ve linked to it in my Stories).
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Every week I get messages from parents and teachers concerned about the impact of social media on their kids’ body image. And of course, I couldn’t write a book about body image in kids and teens without covering social media - there’s a whole chapter in Body Happy Kids dedicated to the subject. 
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The thing is, social media isn’t going anywhere. And just like it can be a force for anxiety, shame and general angst it can be a force for good too. The trick is in knowing how to use it positively (and in holding the platforms to account for not moderating the spread of harmful viral trends and online abuse, and creating algorithms that deliberately create division and harm mental health... but that’s a story for another day). 
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But how can we expect our kids to have a handle on it when we, as adults, don’t ourselves? 
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I don’t believe the answer is to ban social media, but I don’t think kids should be given unfettered access to it either. 
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They need help navigating this stuff, learning about boundaries, developing media literacy skills so they can think critically about the content they’re consuming (just like many adults).
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And we also need to explore how we might be inadvertently contributing to the problem, perpetuating appearance ideals and creating a culture where kids learn it’s ok to body shame under the guise of health and to value each other based on the way they look.
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As ever, it’s complicated. I’d love to know what you think? What are some of the boundaries you have around social media in your house - both for yourself and your kids?
#BodyHappyKids 
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[Full text in Alt Text]
When I was pregnant with Effie I went to a pregnan When I was pregnant with Effie I went to a pregnancy yoga class every week. It was the highlight of my week. I left each session feeling like I was floating on a cloud, and I used the poses and breath work to guide me through labour too. But then I had my baby and found that, as a knackered new mum of two, I couldn’t find the time for yoga. I no longer had the excuse of doing it “for the bump” or “to prepare for labour”, so what was the point?
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It wasn’t until I started reinvesting in myself and unravelling the diet culture perspective on exercise that I found it again, along with running, which turned to hiking, and swimming. 
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It wasn’t about preparing my body for someone or something else. It was about the process itself, the time to unwind my mind and move my body for joy, just for me. I’ve lost a bit of that this past year with lockdowns, and I feel it.
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I recently signed up to @theunderbellyyoga with @mynameisjessamyn and feel like I’m finding it again. I love that my kids can see me taking time for myself, and enjoying movement, and that they sometimes want to join in too. Even if it is a bit annoying sometimes (swipe 👀). 
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#BodyHappyMum 
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[Image description: Molly and her 6 year old daughter Effie sit on yoga and gymnastics mats with their legs crossed and arms in the air. They have their backs to the camera. In the second image they are sitting crossed legged while twisting round to the side, and in the third image Molly is lying on the mat with her eyes closed while Effie leans over her, being a bit annoying.]
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