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You are here: Home / MOTHERHOOD / Half Term Lessons: Experiences don’t have to be expensive to be magical

Half Term Lessons: Experiences don’t have to be expensive to be magical

October 31, 2017 by Molly 1 Comment

I learned a lesson over half term. Actually, it’s something I knew already but apparently I needed to be reminded. Children don’t need experiences to be big or expensive or hugely flamboyant for them to be magical. A fun memory doesn’t need to cost loads of money for it to become an important one. This might seem like a really obvious fact but it’s one I think I’d lost sight of somewhere along the way – and, to be honest, I don’t think I’m the only one.

Take Christmas, for example. I love Christmas. I’m totally down with having the whole of December dedicated to festive merriment (just don’t put your tree up in November – but that’s another argument). We always try to cram in lots of fun days out and get the obligatory tickets to see Father Christmas, do the outdoor ice-skating etc. But you know the things my seven year old is most excited about this year? Making magic reindeer food at home and going to visit the “kind” Santa at the local garden centre.

This has been a huge relief for me, as someone who simply can’t afford to justify shelling out thousands of pounds on a trip to Lapland – or even Lapland UK. When your Insta-feed is bombarded with photos of families skiing or riding with real-life Huskies throughout December, it can make you feel like a bit of a failure if you’re not giving your own kids these experiences too. And don’t get me wrong, if we ever DID have an experience like that as a family I’m sure my kids would lap it up (no pun intended). But are they missing out by not having them? No, actually, I don’t think they are.

You know the things that are really important to children? They want their parents to be in a good mood, they want to feel loved, secure. They want just a tiny bit of magic and excitement peppered around, to make an experience feel special. I’m definitely guilty of forgetting this at times and focusing on the big experiences. Spending all my money and attention on creating amazing holiday memories or big days out. But Freya’s excitement over the “cheap” Santa at the garden centre and the totally free festive activity just goes to show that sometimes big doesn’t always mean better.

Over half term I put a lot of energy into creating big autumnal moments for my kids. We carved pumpkins, had fancy days out, rushed around squeezing every bit of fun out of the week that we could. We had fun, but by the end of it we were all pretty knackered. Yesterday, on an inset day, I asked both girls what they wanted to do and you know what they said? Go to the library and get a hot chocolate from the cafe.

The simple, small pleasures are just as important for kids as the big ones it seems. And this was welcome news to me, as I’d been feeling a bit guilty that we hadn’t gone away anywhere for the week like half the people on my Facebook and Instagram feed. It’s so easy to put pressure on yourself as a parent and worry that your kids are missing out if you’re not offering them up magical experience after magical experience, but judging from my girls’ excitement at the self-checkout at the library, sometimes all you need is a free book and five minutes doing the bar-code scanner to #liveyourbestlife.

This isn’t a post to have a go at anyone who might have gone away and done some amazing things over half term. I’m all for anyone grabbing experiences out of life and having as much fun as possible. And our summer holidays to France are a real highlight of our year. But if you didn’t manage to get up to much then here’s a little reminder that that’s OK, too. Mornings in pyjamas lounging in front of the TV, a trip to the park leaf-kicking and the occasional trip to the library or out for a hot chocolate can, apparently, be just as big a treat for a child as a day out riding roller-coasters. Who knew?!

 

Filed Under: Kids, MOTHERHOOD Tagged With: childhood memories, Family days out, family traditions, Parenting

« Tempting a fussy eating toddler back to food #NoJunkJourney
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Comments

  1. Jane says

    November 1, 2017 at 11:56 am

    Wise words Mrs xx

    Reply

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Hello and welcome! I'm Molly Forbes - podcaster, presenter and blogger with a passion for positivity, confidence and body image chat. Regularly writing and vlogging about empowering female issues from a motherhood angle, I also cover lifestyle and fashion topics for like-minded mums who want to rediscover themselves after having children. Thanks for stopping by! Read More…

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I am not “bossing” it. Or “slaying”. Or “hustling”. Or “smashing” it. I’m not even juggling or spinning plates or doing any of the other words we use as a glossy, marketable, Instagram friendly way to package up burnout culture, under the guise of “empowering” women (💪🤢). 
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What I have been doing, though, is working too hard. Call a spade a spade. I’ve been working too hard, neglecting my health, my relationships, my life away from my laptop. I cannot be everything to everyone AND work at the level I’ve been working at BECAUSE I AM A HUMAN BEING. And you are too. We are not robots.
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I care deeply about all my work, and things aren’t always this intense, but I wanted to sprinkle some reality into the Gram because I am so over this lie that *any* type of success or achievement doesn’t come at a cost, or involve many failures in the background, or require many other people to help make things happen. 
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I guess what I’m saying is, let’s be real about all that, as well as showing the achievements. I’m bloody proud of my book. And I’m so excited to launch the social enterprise @bodyhappyorg properly next month. But that doesn’t mean it’s easy, and that there isn’t a price. 
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And with that, I’m taking the weekend off. See you on the other side 🥰🥰🥰
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[Image description: Molly sits in her office with her hands covering her mouth. On the back of one hand is written “Not bossing it”. She is wearing a pink boiler suit with a black and white top underneath. She has pink leopard print earrings on and her hair is tied back.]
This was taken at the start of half term, when the This was taken at the start of half term, when the kids were still enthusiastic about going for a walk. 1,705 walks around the same bit of countryside later... not so much 😬 
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If you’re struggling to get your kids motivated to move their body at the moment, go gentle. You’re not alone. Bad weather coupled with boredom coupled with the lure of screens is a heady recipe for lethargy - and that’s just me! 
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Seriously though, remember: all movement is valid. Even if it’s just a ten minute @cosmickids sesh or a little kitchen disco, it all counts. And if it comes from a place of enjoyment and fun, kids (and adults!) are going to be far more likely to want to get involved.
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What joyful movement activities are your kids enjoying right now (if any?!)?
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[Image description: Molly and her two daughters are standing in a field. They’re wearing colourful wellies, holding hands and smiling.]
I founded a social enterprise 😵 . Introducing: I founded a social enterprise 😵
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Introducing: @bodyhappyorg 🎉
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We are a Community Interest Company dedicated to promoting positive body image in children. We help adults help the kids in their care be friends with their bodies 🥰. 
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Through workshops and classes, digital and physical resources (both free and paid) we help parents, carers, teachers, youth leaders - and any adults who are ever around children - create body happy settings for kids to thrive in. 
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We launch officially next month with a beautiful new website and lots of resources which we’ll continually be adding to. In the meantime give us a follow at @bodyhappyorg - we start posting from today and our page has been designed as a free resource on its own! 
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I’m privileged to work alongside an incredible team of people on this. Shout-out to the original dream team @chelseacoxstrategist @amysnellingpt @effinitupfaye @lottie_storey @bodyconfidencecards_db @rachel_hobnobs & @aceandping 💕 LOVE YOU ALL! 💕
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[Image description: A blue square with yellow and white text which reads “the body happy org”. This is the logo for The Body Happy Organisation CIC]
Proof that I did wear clothes other than a tea-sta Proof that I did wear clothes other than a tea-stained hoodie and tracksuit bottoms at least once in the past month 😐
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[Image description: Molly is wearing pink dungarees with yellow buttons over a black rollneck long-sleeved top. She has a monochrome striped hairband on and her hair is pink. She is also wearing earrings with boobs on them. She looks very pleased, both with her earrings, the pink hair and the fact she’s not wearing sleepwear, for a change.]
A new report from the Education Policy Institute h A new report from the Education Policy Institute has concluded an obvious gender divide in the well-being of young adults. If you’d like to read more check out this article by Eleanor Peake in @newstatesman (I’ve linked to it in my Stories).
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Every week I get messages from parents and teachers concerned about the impact of social media on their kids’ body image. And of course, I couldn’t write a book about body image in kids and teens without covering social media - there’s a whole chapter in Body Happy Kids dedicated to the subject. 
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The thing is, social media isn’t going anywhere. And just like it can be a force for anxiety, shame and general angst it can be a force for good too. The trick is in knowing how to use it positively (and in holding the platforms to account for not moderating the spread of harmful viral trends and online abuse, and creating algorithms that deliberately create division and harm mental health... but that’s a story for another day). 
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But how can we expect our kids to have a handle on it when we, as adults, don’t ourselves? 
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I don’t believe the answer is to ban social media, but I don’t think kids should be given unfettered access to it either. 
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They need help navigating this stuff, learning about boundaries, developing media literacy skills so they can think critically about the content they’re consuming (just like many adults).
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And we also need to explore how we might be inadvertently contributing to the problem, perpetuating appearance ideals and creating a culture where kids learn it’s ok to body shame under the guise of health and to value each other based on the way they look.
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As ever, it’s complicated. I’d love to know what you think? What are some of the boundaries you have around social media in your house - both for yourself and your kids?
#BodyHappyKids 
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[Full text in Alt Text]
When I was pregnant with Effie I went to a pregnan When I was pregnant with Effie I went to a pregnancy yoga class every week. It was the highlight of my week. I left each session feeling like I was floating on a cloud, and I used the poses and breath work to guide me through labour too. But then I had my baby and found that, as a knackered new mum of two, I couldn’t find the time for yoga. I no longer had the excuse of doing it “for the bump” or “to prepare for labour”, so what was the point?
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It wasn’t until I started reinvesting in myself and unravelling the diet culture perspective on exercise that I found it again, along with running, which turned to hiking, and swimming. 
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It wasn’t about preparing my body for someone or something else. It was about the process itself, the time to unwind my mind and move my body for joy, just for me. I’ve lost a bit of that this past year with lockdowns, and I feel it.
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I recently signed up to @theunderbellyyoga with @mynameisjessamyn and feel like I’m finding it again. I love that my kids can see me taking time for myself, and enjoying movement, and that they sometimes want to join in too. Even if it is a bit annoying sometimes (swipe 👀). 
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#BodyHappyMum 
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[Image description: Molly and her 6 year old daughter Effie sit on yoga and gymnastics mats with their legs crossed and arms in the air. They have their backs to the camera. In the second image they are sitting crossed legged while twisting round to the side, and in the third image Molly is lying on the mat with her eyes closed while Effie leans over her, being a bit annoying.]
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