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You are here: Home / MOTHERHOOD / Festive kindness and Christmas wishes

Festive kindness and Christmas wishes

December 24, 2017 by Molly Leave a Comment

Back in November, I was worried my biggest girl had lost what Christmas was all about. Her obsession with how many presents she’d get was overwhelming, and I was starting to dread the day itself in case her “haul” didn’t live up to her expectations. All the little things that make the magic of Christmas – the family traditions and activities – were being forgotten as she went through her list of requests over and over again. It was draining.

Along with their chocolate advent calendars I made the girls a Kindness Advent, with a string of envelopes holding 24 different “kindness challenges”. This has proven to be the answer to balancing out some of the materialism of Christmas and re-introducing some of the big ideas around what makes the season so special.

We’re not a religious family and I’m certainly no Gold Star Pinterest mum, but having an opportunity to talk about being kind every day has gone a long way to cancelling out all the adverts for toys and stuff. (That and watching countless Christmas films hammering home the same message – The Grinch was particularly useful!)

There’s one piece of festive kindness in particular that stands out from all the rest. Freya wrote a letter and drew a picture for the postman to say thank you for delivering all the cards. She stuck it onto the front door and, when she came home from school it had gone. A couple of days passed and she received her own card in the post. “Dear Freya”, it read. “Thank you for my letter and drawing. I’ve stuck it on the fridge in my kitchen. Have a lovely Christmas, from Postman Colin”. She was thrilled and it showed her that being kind IS appreciated and doesn’t go unnoticed. 

A week or so later we were given a cake won by an elderly neighbour in a raffle. The neighbour’s husband died a couple of years ago and she lives alone. She’d been looking for a family to give the cake to, because she couldn’t eat it all on her own. Freya wrote her a letter to say thank you for the cake and to invite her round for mulled wine and mince pies. Later that night Freya got a card back from the neighbour to say thank you for the letter, and to say she couldn’t come for mulled wine but that she had put the letter on her wall because it was “the nicest one she’d received”. Another little glowing moment for Freya, and she went to sleep that night clutching her card.

The final piece of festive kindness that stands out this month was from my grumpy husband himself. If you’ve seen any of my videos before you’ll know Simon hates the limelight and has a natural tendency to be a bit of a grump. But underneath the brusque exterior he’s a big softie and so, when asked to step in and be Father Christmas at the school party, he couldn’t turn it down.

It’s literally the last thing he wanted to do and he couldn’t have been further out of his comfort zone. He did it to help me out (it was my job to book Santa as I’m on the PTFA – and our regular Santa was already busy) and to make the party that bit more special for all the younger kids at the school who get to see Father Christmas. He was nervous about it and moaned about it for a while beforehand, but when it came to the day he took on the role with acting brilliance, saying “I’m very tired because I’ve travelled all the day from the North Pole!”

I’m signing off for Christmas now, but I wanted to mark these little moments and share them with you as, for me, they’re what Christmas is all about. And if you can’t be a bit sentimental and soft at Christmas when can you? I’ll be filming snippets of the next couple of days to share on YouTube but for now, I’m off to sing Christmas songs and soak up every second of magic that is Christmas with a three and seven year old.

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

 

Filed Under: Kids, MOTHERHOOD Tagged With: Christmas, festive, festive kindness, kindness calendar, random acts of kindness

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Hello and welcome! I'm Molly Forbes - podcaster, presenter and blogger with a passion for positivity, confidence and body image chat. Regularly writing and vlogging about empowering female issues from a motherhood angle, I also cover lifestyle and fashion topics for like-minded mums who want to rediscover themselves after having children. Thanks for stopping by! Read More…

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This was taken at the start of half term, when the This was taken at the start of half term, when the kids were still enthusiastic about going for a walk. 1,705 walks around the same bit of countryside later... not so much 😬 
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If you’re struggling to get your kids motivated to move their body at the moment, go gentle. You’re not alone. Bad weather coupled with boredom coupled with the lure of screens is a heady recipe for lethargy - and that’s just me! 
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Seriously though, remember: all movement is valid. Even if it’s just a ten minute @cosmickids sesh or a little kitchen disco, it all counts. And if it comes from a place of enjoyment and fun, kids (and adults!) are going to be far more likely to want to get involved.
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What joyful movement activities are your kids enjoying right now (if any?!)?
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[Image description: Molly and her two daughters are standing in a field. They’re wearing colourful wellies, holding hands and smiling.]
I founded a social enterprise 😵 . Introducing: I founded a social enterprise 😵
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Introducing: @bodyhappyorg 🎉
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We are a Community Interest Company dedicated to promoting positive body image in children. We help adults help the kids in their care be friends with their bodies 🥰. 
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Through workshops and classes, digital and physical resources (both free and paid) we help parents, carers, teachers, youth leaders - and any adults who are ever around children - create body happy settings for kids to thrive in. 
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We launch officially next month with a beautiful new website and lots of resources which we’ll continually be adding to. In the meantime give us a follow at @bodyhappyorg - we start posting from today and our page has been designed as a free resource on its own! 
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I’m privileged to work alongside an incredible team of people on this. Shout-out to the original dream team @chelseacoxstrategist @amysnellingpt @effinitupfaye @lottie_storey @bodyconfidencecards_db @rachel_hobnobs & @aceandping 💕 LOVE YOU ALL! 💕
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[Image description: A blue square with yellow and white text which reads “the body happy org”. This is the logo for The Body Happy Organisation CIC]
Proof that I did wear clothes other than a tea-sta Proof that I did wear clothes other than a tea-stained hoodie and tracksuit bottoms at least once in the past month 😐
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[Image description: Molly is wearing pink dungarees with yellow buttons over a black rollneck long-sleeved top. She has a monochrome striped hairband on and her hair is pink. She is also wearing earrings with boobs on them. She looks very pleased, both with her earrings, the pink hair and the fact she’s not wearing sleepwear, for a change.]
A new report from the Education Policy Institute h A new report from the Education Policy Institute has concluded an obvious gender divide in the well-being of young adults. If you’d like to read more check out this article by Eleanor Peake in @newstatesman (I’ve linked to it in my Stories).
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Every week I get messages from parents and teachers concerned about the impact of social media on their kids’ body image. And of course, I couldn’t write a book about body image in kids and teens without covering social media - there’s a whole chapter in Body Happy Kids dedicated to the subject. 
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The thing is, social media isn’t going anywhere. And just like it can be a force for anxiety, shame and general angst it can be a force for good too. The trick is in knowing how to use it positively (and in holding the platforms to account for not moderating the spread of harmful viral trends and online abuse, and creating algorithms that deliberately create division and harm mental health... but that’s a story for another day). 
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But how can we expect our kids to have a handle on it when we, as adults, don’t ourselves? 
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I don’t believe the answer is to ban social media, but I don’t think kids should be given unfettered access to it either. 
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They need help navigating this stuff, learning about boundaries, developing media literacy skills so they can think critically about the content they’re consuming (just like many adults).
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And we also need to explore how we might be inadvertently contributing to the problem, perpetuating appearance ideals and creating a culture where kids learn it’s ok to body shame under the guise of health and to value each other based on the way they look.
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As ever, it’s complicated. I’d love to know what you think? What are some of the boundaries you have around social media in your house - both for yourself and your kids?
#BodyHappyKids 
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When I was pregnant with Effie I went to a pregnan When I was pregnant with Effie I went to a pregnancy yoga class every week. It was the highlight of my week. I left each session feeling like I was floating on a cloud, and I used the poses and breath work to guide me through labour too. But then I had my baby and found that, as a knackered new mum of two, I couldn’t find the time for yoga. I no longer had the excuse of doing it “for the bump” or “to prepare for labour”, so what was the point?
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It wasn’t until I started reinvesting in myself and unravelling the diet culture perspective on exercise that I found it again, along with running, which turned to hiking, and swimming. 
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It wasn’t about preparing my body for someone or something else. It was about the process itself, the time to unwind my mind and move my body for joy, just for me. I’ve lost a bit of that this past year with lockdowns, and I feel it.
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I recently signed up to @theunderbellyyoga with @mynameisjessamyn and feel like I’m finding it again. I love that my kids can see me taking time for myself, and enjoying movement, and that they sometimes want to join in too. Even if it is a bit annoying sometimes (swipe 👀). 
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#BodyHappyMum 
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[Image description: Molly and her 6 year old daughter Effie sit on yoga and gymnastics mats with their legs crossed and arms in the air. They have their backs to the camera. In the second image they are sitting crossed legged while twisting round to the side, and in the third image Molly is lying on the mat with her eyes closed while Effie leans over her, being a bit annoying.]
Health is complicated, yet it’s so often over-si Health is complicated, yet it’s so often over-simplified on social media. “Just eat less and move more!” etc are packaged up as empowering motivational quotes, but when we look into what health actually is, and the many things that impact it, we realise that this view isn’t empowering at all. 
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Any conversation about health that doesn’t acknowledge the fact of body diversity, social determinants of health and the impact of weight stigma and all forms of discrimination on health, is not a full conversation.
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When it comes to how this makes children feel about their bodies, the impact is huge. From appearance based bullying (both online and in the playground) to confusion over how best to look after their own health, we’re not equipping kids with the tools to feel good in their bodies or be accepting of other children in bodies that may not look the way we teach kids “healthy” looks. 
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Consider this as a “starter post”, an introduction to the “But what about health?” question if you’ve not come across a weight inclusive approach to health before. If it’s useful bookmark and come back to it. And maybe even share it if you think your friends and family might benefit from it too. 
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On the last slide you’ll find a short list of further reading. This is by no means an exhaustive list! Again, just a starting point. 
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There are professors, researchers, activists, educators, doctors, public health policy makers doing important work in this area (who have been leading the charge on this for decades, before social media was even a thing), but still the mainstream view on health always seems to come down to personal responsibility arguments and the “eat less, move more” approach. Just remember, it’s complicated. ❤️
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EDIT: On the last slide I recommend the book Burn Out - apologies for a typo to author name: it is written by Emily & AMELIA Nagoski 
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