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You are here: Home / MOTHERHOOD / Four lazy mum hacks for self-care parenting

Four lazy mum hacks for self-care parenting

March 26, 2018 by Molly 5 Comments

Confession: at least two days a week I turn into Lazy Mum. And you know what? Those are often two of my favourite days of the week.

On Lazy Mum days we eat a trash tea, the kids have unlimited screen time and there is – gasp – not one single organised activity. Basically, on these days I’m about as far from Pinterest Perfect Mum as you can get.

I like to think of Lazy Mum days as the “self care” essential for a stressed out mum. We’re all told about the benefits of giving ourselves a break, being “kind” to ourselves, living in the moment etc. But when you’re living life at 100 miles an hour, trying to speed clean your kitchen while whipping up a batch of freshly baked muffins, organising an educational craft activity and replying to that important work email, self care goes out the window.

Which is why, for me, the Lazy Mum hacks listed below are an important part of my parenting self care repertoire. Actively lowering my standards on these days is liberating, and I don’t even feel guilty. And you know what the side effect of that is? Happier kids.

So, without one ounce of guilt, I present to you some of my favourite lazy mum hacks…

1. Unlimited screen time

After school on a Friday the girls love to come home and just slob out. It’s the one day of the week when Freya doesn’t have any after school clubs and we don’t have to rush out of the door to be anywhere. When we get home the kids go on the iPad / tablet / sit in front of the TV and barely speak to each other (or me). There’s no limit on it and they have their tea in front of it too, glued to whatever’s on the screen. This doesn’t happen every day so it’s a treat – for them and for me (because it’s the one time I don’t have to nag them or face a tantrum).

2. Fancy dress as outfit of the day

Gone are the days when I could choose pretty co-ordinating outfits for my daughters. Effie now has clear ideas over what she wants to wear and – apart from the time it was snowing outside and she wanted to wear nothing but a swimming cozzie – I’m happy to go with it. Most days her outfit choice is a hugely random co-ordination, often involving a tutu or a Christmas jumper. I can’t be bothered with the tantrums of trying to coax her into a bright Boden outfit or an Instagrammable Next ensemble so I choose the Lazy Mum approach and let her dress herself, regardless of the fact her outfit might provoke some raised eyebrows when we’re out in public. She’s happy, I’m happy, we’re all happy.

3. Trash tea

Lazy Mum days are “trash tea” days. I rarely cook an elaborate meal on a Friday. The girls will often have pizza or fish-fingers and, because we don’t eat like this every day I feel not an ounce of guilt. They love it and often tell me Friday night tea is their favourite – especially as they get to eat it while watching the iPad or TV. Everything in moderation and all that.

4. Bath bombs / Gelli Baff

Bath time on a Friday is always fun, mainly because I can’t be bothered to negotiate a tantrum, so I let the kids do what they like. Often this will involve that awful stuff that turns bath water into jelly. Sometimes it might be a bath bomb they can drop into the bath. It will always take longer than usual because I’m not in a rush and – shock horror – often I’ll just leave them to it while I read a book or mindlessly scroll through Twitter on my phone.

5. Disaster naps

One of my favourite lazy mum hacks is to let my three year old nap on me. This achieves the double whammy of an enforced sit down for an hour or so, peace while she sleeps and avoidance of any play-doh related activities. Some people might gasp at the brazen lack of routine here, tutting at a nap in the afternoon that might ruin bedtime. Usually I’ll actively avoid the disaster nap situation due to fear of a late bedtime or simply because I’ve got too much to do to have time to sit underneath a sleeping three year old. But on Lazy Mum Days I welcome the nap with open arms, sod the consequences.

See some of these hacks in action in my latest vlog – this one’s a raw Day In The Life video…

Filed Under: Kids, MOTHERHOOD Tagged With: happiness, happy mum, happy parents, lazy mum, mum hacks, mum life, Parenting, real mum life

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Comments

  1. MummyNeverSleeps says

    April 9, 2018 at 9:37 pm

    LOVING these actual proper hacks I can relate to! Totally an advocate of trash tea Fridays here too x

    Reply
  2. Sarah Rooftops says

    March 27, 2018 at 8:03 pm

    I must be the laziest mum around because this describes most days in my house! It’s not just self-care, though – it’s kid care, too. It’s important to teach them to take time out from Achieving Things, to relax sometimes and to do things because they’re fun rather than educational/impressive – then perhaps their generation will be less stressed out than ours is! But yes to self-care, too.

    Reply
    • Molly says

      March 28, 2018 at 10:23 am

      I completely agree!

      Reply
  3. Sarah | Boo Roo and Tigger Too says

    March 27, 2018 at 8:26 am

    I’m loving these hacks. I currently have my two year watching Despicable Me 3 (again) whilst she climbs all over me. Thankfully I can still manage to do some things via my phone

    Reply
    • Molly says

      March 28, 2018 at 10:24 am

      Your two year old sounds very like Effie! xx

      Reply

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Hello and welcome! I'm Molly Forbes - podcaster, presenter and blogger with a passion for positivity, confidence and body image chat. Regularly writing and vlogging about empowering female issues from a motherhood angle, I also cover lifestyle and fashion topics for like-minded mums who want to rediscover themselves after having children. Thanks for stopping by! Read More…

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I am not “bossing” it. Or “slaying”. Or “hustling”. Or “smashing” it. I’m not even juggling or spinning plates or doing any of the other words we use as a glossy, marketable, Instagram friendly way to package up burnout culture, under the guise of “empowering” women (💪🤢). 
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What I have been doing, though, is working too hard. Call a spade a spade. I’ve been working too hard, neglecting my health, my relationships, my life away from my laptop. I cannot be everything to everyone AND work at the level I’ve been working at BECAUSE I AM A HUMAN BEING. And you are too. We are not robots.
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I care deeply about all my work, and things aren’t always this intense, but I wanted to sprinkle some reality into the Gram because I am so over this lie that *any* type of success or achievement doesn’t come at a cost, or involve many failures in the background, or require many other people to help make things happen. 
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I guess what I’m saying is, let’s be real about all that, as well as showing the achievements. I’m bloody proud of my book. And I’m so excited to launch the social enterprise @bodyhappyorg properly next month. But that doesn’t mean it’s easy, and that there isn’t a price. 
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And with that, I’m taking the weekend off. See you on the other side 🥰🥰🥰
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[Image description: Molly sits in her office with her hands covering her mouth. On the back of one hand is written “Not bossing it”. She is wearing a pink boiler suit with a black and white top underneath. She has pink leopard print earrings on and her hair is tied back.]
This was taken at the start of half term, when the This was taken at the start of half term, when the kids were still enthusiastic about going for a walk. 1,705 walks around the same bit of countryside later... not so much 😬 
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If you’re struggling to get your kids motivated to move their body at the moment, go gentle. You’re not alone. Bad weather coupled with boredom coupled with the lure of screens is a heady recipe for lethargy - and that’s just me! 
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Seriously though, remember: all movement is valid. Even if it’s just a ten minute @cosmickids sesh or a little kitchen disco, it all counts. And if it comes from a place of enjoyment and fun, kids (and adults!) are going to be far more likely to want to get involved.
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What joyful movement activities are your kids enjoying right now (if any?!)?
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[Image description: Molly and her two daughters are standing in a field. They’re wearing colourful wellies, holding hands and smiling.]
I founded a social enterprise 😵 . Introducing: I founded a social enterprise 😵
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Introducing: @bodyhappyorg 🎉
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We are a Community Interest Company dedicated to promoting positive body image in children. We help adults help the kids in their care be friends with their bodies 🥰. 
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Through workshops and classes, digital and physical resources (both free and paid) we help parents, carers, teachers, youth leaders - and any adults who are ever around children - create body happy settings for kids to thrive in. 
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We launch officially next month with a beautiful new website and lots of resources which we’ll continually be adding to. In the meantime give us a follow at @bodyhappyorg - we start posting from today and our page has been designed as a free resource on its own! 
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I’m privileged to work alongside an incredible team of people on this. Shout-out to the original dream team @chelseacoxstrategist @amysnellingpt @effinitupfaye @lottie_storey @bodyconfidencecards_db @rachel_hobnobs & @aceandping 💕 LOVE YOU ALL! 💕
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[Image description: A blue square with yellow and white text which reads “the body happy org”. This is the logo for The Body Happy Organisation CIC]
Proof that I did wear clothes other than a tea-sta Proof that I did wear clothes other than a tea-stained hoodie and tracksuit bottoms at least once in the past month 😐
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[Image description: Molly is wearing pink dungarees with yellow buttons over a black rollneck long-sleeved top. She has a monochrome striped hairband on and her hair is pink. She is also wearing earrings with boobs on them. She looks very pleased, both with her earrings, the pink hair and the fact she’s not wearing sleepwear, for a change.]
A new report from the Education Policy Institute h A new report from the Education Policy Institute has concluded an obvious gender divide in the well-being of young adults. If you’d like to read more check out this article by Eleanor Peake in @newstatesman (I’ve linked to it in my Stories).
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Every week I get messages from parents and teachers concerned about the impact of social media on their kids’ body image. And of course, I couldn’t write a book about body image in kids and teens without covering social media - there’s a whole chapter in Body Happy Kids dedicated to the subject. 
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The thing is, social media isn’t going anywhere. And just like it can be a force for anxiety, shame and general angst it can be a force for good too. The trick is in knowing how to use it positively (and in holding the platforms to account for not moderating the spread of harmful viral trends and online abuse, and creating algorithms that deliberately create division and harm mental health... but that’s a story for another day). 
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But how can we expect our kids to have a handle on it when we, as adults, don’t ourselves? 
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I don’t believe the answer is to ban social media, but I don’t think kids should be given unfettered access to it either. 
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They need help navigating this stuff, learning about boundaries, developing media literacy skills so they can think critically about the content they’re consuming (just like many adults).
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And we also need to explore how we might be inadvertently contributing to the problem, perpetuating appearance ideals and creating a culture where kids learn it’s ok to body shame under the guise of health and to value each other based on the way they look.
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As ever, it’s complicated. I’d love to know what you think? What are some of the boundaries you have around social media in your house - both for yourself and your kids?
#BodyHappyKids 
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[Full text in Alt Text]
When I was pregnant with Effie I went to a pregnan When I was pregnant with Effie I went to a pregnancy yoga class every week. It was the highlight of my week. I left each session feeling like I was floating on a cloud, and I used the poses and breath work to guide me through labour too. But then I had my baby and found that, as a knackered new mum of two, I couldn’t find the time for yoga. I no longer had the excuse of doing it “for the bump” or “to prepare for labour”, so what was the point?
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It wasn’t until I started reinvesting in myself and unravelling the diet culture perspective on exercise that I found it again, along with running, which turned to hiking, and swimming. 
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It wasn’t about preparing my body for someone or something else. It was about the process itself, the time to unwind my mind and move my body for joy, just for me. I’ve lost a bit of that this past year with lockdowns, and I feel it.
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I recently signed up to @theunderbellyyoga with @mynameisjessamyn and feel like I’m finding it again. I love that my kids can see me taking time for myself, and enjoying movement, and that they sometimes want to join in too. Even if it is a bit annoying sometimes (swipe 👀). 
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#BodyHappyMum 
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[Image description: Molly and her 6 year old daughter Effie sit on yoga and gymnastics mats with their legs crossed and arms in the air. They have their backs to the camera. In the second image they are sitting crossed legged while twisting round to the side, and in the third image Molly is lying on the mat with her eyes closed while Effie leans over her, being a bit annoying.]
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