Gosh MUMS. Aren’t they so boring? If they’re not busy boasting about their kid’s latest achievement all over Facebook, then they’re off somewhere being ungrateful about having children in the first place, moaning about the school run or toddler tantrums all over Twitter. Or they’re writing lengthy blog posts about how stupid their kids are, or how amazing their kids are. Blog posts that NO ONE’S GOING TO READ because, you know, who cares about that shit?
GET OFF MY INTERNET MUMS!
Stop inundating me with details of your life and your snotty-nosed kids. Just get on with raising your brats behind closed doors.
KNOW YOUR PLACE MUMS!
You no longer have the right to take an active part in life online. You gave up that right when you pushed a human out of your vagina. So you’re bored? A bit lonely? Want to let off steam and share your thoughts about motherhood with the world? Oh FFS just go to a toddler group or sign up to one of those parenting websites that has “mum” in the title. At least you won’t be littering my feed with your drivel.
This pretty much sums up a variety of threads and articles I’ve read online recently. Mums are boring. Mums shouldn’t talk about motherhood online. Mums who go on Facebook should be banned from social media. Mums who write blog posts about parenting should really have something better to do. Mums, mums, mums.
Where’s all the dad hating online? What about dads who write blog posts or share photos of their child’s first steps on Facebook? I guess if you’re a dad doing it then it’s cute. You’re all “modern man”, showing the world that it’s possible to have a softer side and enjoy fatherhood. You’re let off the hook. Go and be a baby bore as much as you want. Just don’t let your wife go on Twitter.
I’ve recently been sharing less and less on my personal Facebook page. Terrified that I’ll be labelled as a “mum with nothing better to do” by my non-parent friends, I’ve started to mute myself. Instead, I’ve gone to Twitter or Instagram or, on some occasions my blog Facebook page. I feel less judged in these places, as I guess most of the people who I interact with there are parents too.
That doesn’t stop the mum hating online getting to me though. I’ve still read those threads about “dull mummy bloggers” (the irony of such comments mainly coming from other mums themselves is not lost on me). I’ve read the tongue-in-cheek articles informing us mums how we can avoid being a baby bore.
I wonder why they don’t write those types of articles for those in my feed who I would term as a “politics bore”, or a “cat bore”, or a “OMG I’m soooooo hungover!” bore. I guess if you a) don’t have kids or b) are a man, then you can post what you want without the risk of being labelled something pretty unfortunate.
Balls to it all, I say.
From this day onwards I’m going to stop censoring myself. I’m not going to feel a bit cringe if someone outs me as a “mummy blogger”. I’m not going to apologise for sharing a cute photo of my baby on Facebook or ranting about a shitty school run from hell on Twitter. And you know why? Because I have just as much right as anyone else to be online.
Because sharing this stuff sometimes makes me feel better. Because mothering isn’t a dirty job that should be done in privacy, behind closed doors. Because being a parent is a huge part of my life and it’s only natural I’ll sometimes want to talk about it.
Unfortunately, I don’t always have time watch that big Oscar nominated film at the cinema or read the latest Waterstones best-seller, so I can’t share witty thoughts about it on Twitter. Sometimes the only chat I have is the fact I am so tired I feel half dead inside, and I think admitting that may make one mum somewhere feel a tiny bit better about feeling half dead with tiredness too.
So here’s to more mum sharing online and less mum hating. I’m not ashamed to be a mum, or a woman, or a blogger.
Are you?
The bit about cringing when outed as a Mummy Blogger made me laugh…I still sort of hide that side of my life to non bloggers, which is crazy as it’s my job and brings me amazing opportunities.
I think when reading on social media you just have to take a step back sometimes and understand that people have different insecurities and issues and sometimes that’s apparent in their posts. I’m not very good at sharing personal aspects of my life anywhere other than Instagram, not sure why…maybe it seems friendlier than FB?
I totally get that – I agree. I think I do the same!
Good for you Molly and I completely agree. We shouldn’t feel ashamed for sharing our little human beings! x
I don’t suppose you read the awful (but tongue in cheek so we can’t moan) column in The Guardian warning Instagram users (who are obviously so cool and hip) that it was so fast growing that it was soon going to be ruined by *mothers*! I mean can you imagine, mothers on Instagram! How hideous. It was the first thing ever that’s made me want to comment (I didn’t obviously)
I hate the assumption that mothers can’t be clever, funny, interesting, informed, engaged, stylish and cool.
I don’t really use Facebook so perhaps I’ve escaped most of this but no I’m not ashamed to be a blogger, a Mummy or a Mummy Blogger – it’s taken me a while to admit to it to people I know in real life though …!
Hurray to that!
*raises bingo wings and shakes them furiously*
BIG UP THE MUMS ONLINE!
Lovely post Molly x
Thanks Annie! x
Love this and am sharing. Can I win a prize for spotting the typo “sensoring” when it should be “censoring” at 2:18 am in the morning?
Top prize to Annabelle! I’ve changed that typo now. My excuse is a mixture of ragey writing and sleep deprivation…
Well said. I happen to think the photos I post of my children are just as interesting (much more interesting if I’m being totally honest) than updates from friends who share in depth photos of every course of their gourmet lunches!
YES! Cute photos win over posh food photos for me, every time.
I feel like I am sharing more about the boys lately!!! Bucking the trend! In fact I really haven’t felt sure of how to share on Facebook for the last few months and actually sharing all my mums things has made me feel connected there. The mess in the house, snapped moments on my phone. I can save the silly flowers for somewhere else. Hoorah for documenting their digital footprint. Great post xxxxxx
Thanks for your brilliant comment Lucy. I think I go through phases with Facebook and social media generally really. I guess use different platforms for different things. Not down with the mum hating though!
you are sharing less??
Ha!
Hell, yeah!
Although, actually, I do see people complaining about running bores and wedding bores and politics bores on Facebook – and I’ve blogged before about why we need to stop calling people smug just because they’re excited about something (*cough* http://www.sarahrooftops.co.uk/2015/02/smugness-and-happiness-are-not-same.html *cough*) – but I feel more aware of people complaining about mums and I do find myself wondering how many people are rolling their eyes when I post YET ANOTHER PHOTO of my daughter. I don’t let it stop me, though. Well… not often, anyway…
Don’t stop with the cute baby pics – they brighten up my feed!
Totally. This.
As I’ve said elsewhere online, having a child is just another part of our lives, like our job, pets or hobbies, yet when we talk about it, we’re often labelled a ‘baby bore’. The same is rarely said about those who talk a lot online about their cat or their motorbike. It’s bizarre.
I think it probably has something to do with the fact that often very suddenly, a ‘normal’ person who once posted about massive hangovers and cats turns into someone who posts about babies – this must be quite weird and annoying for non-parents. But do you know what, deal with it. Enough with slating mums.
As ever, you’re a source of wisdom. I totally agree. But yes, enough of slating mums.
No I’m bloody well not! Well said Molly!
Hurrah!
Great post. I am all three of the above (and more) and proud of it too. I love blogging and think a lot more people should blog about their lives whatever situation or stage in life they are at. If others don’t like it, then don’t read it!
Exactly! There’s always the mute button!
yes yes yes! I’ve been editing myself online recently too. I hardly even share stuff on my own personal FB now! I did actually see someone on twitter as well referring to me as ‘another boring mummy blogger’. Since when are Mums ‘boring’?! Without mums – the world would stop turning. Simples x
Quite right. People can be so mean can’t they?!
Not ashamed……hell, I tell anyone who will listen (& some that probably don’t ) about my parenting/wife/lady fails/wins every single day!
I really am very boring, but bollocks to anyone who is offended or annoyed by it I say – my life, my social media, my place to be as snoring boring as I jolly well want!!
Ha – I do love you Kate!
I’m all three, I’m not ashamed. And I’m also not ashamed to say we have the same glittery sneakers. Ideal.
Trainer twins!