Gosh MUMS. Aren’t they so boring? If they’re not busy boasting about their kid’s latest achievement all over Facebook, then they’re off somewhere being ungrateful about having children in the first place, moaning about the school run or toddler tantrums all over Twitter. Or they’re writing lengthy blog posts about how stupid their kids are, or how amazing their kids are. Blog posts that NO ONE’S GOING TO READ because, you know, who cares about that shit?
GET OFF MY INTERNET MUMS!
Stop inundating me with details of your life and your snotty-nosed kids. Just get on with raising your brats behind closed doors.
KNOW YOUR PLACE MUMS!
You no longer have the right to take an active part in life online. You gave up that right when you pushed a human out of your vagina. So you’re bored? A bit lonely? Want to let off steam and share your thoughts about motherhood with the world? Oh FFS just go to a toddler group or sign up to one of those parenting websites that has “mum” in the title. At least you won’t be littering my feed with your drivel.
This pretty much sums up a variety of threads and articles I’ve read online recently. Mums are boring. Mums shouldn’t talk about motherhood online. Mums who go on Facebook should be banned from social media. Mums who write blog posts about parenting should really have something better to do. Mums, mums, mums.
Where’s all the dad hating online? What about dads who write blog posts or share photos of their child’s first steps on Facebook? I guess if you’re a dad doing it then it’s cute. You’re all “modern man”, showing the world that it’s possible to have a softer side and enjoy fatherhood. You’re let off the hook. Go and be a baby bore as much as you want. Just don’t let your wife go on Twitter.
I’ve recently been sharing less and less on my personal Facebook page. Terrified that I’ll be labelled as a “mum with nothing better to do” by my non-parent friends, I’ve started to mute myself. Instead, I’ve gone to Twitter or Instagram or, on some occasions my blog Facebook page. I feel less judged in these places, as I guess most of the people who I interact with there are parents too.
That doesn’t stop the mum hating online getting to me though. I’ve still read those threads about “dull mummy bloggers” (the irony of such comments mainly coming from other mums themselves is not lost on me). I’ve read the tongue-in-cheek articles informing us mums how we can avoid being a baby bore.
I wonder why they don’t write those types of articles for those in my feed who I would term as a “politics bore”, or a “cat bore”, or a “OMG I’m soooooo hungover!” bore. I guess if you a) don’t have kids or b) are a man, then you can post what you want without the risk of being labelled something pretty unfortunate.
Balls to it all, I say.
From this day onwards I’m going to stop censoring myself. I’m not going to feel a bit cringe if someone outs me as a “mummy blogger”. I’m not going to apologise for sharing a cute photo of my baby on Facebook or ranting about a shitty school run from hell on Twitter. And you know why? Because I have just as much right as anyone else to be online.
Because sharing this stuff sometimes makes me feel better. Because mothering isn’t a dirty job that should be done in privacy, behind closed doors. Because being a parent is a huge part of my life and it’s only natural I’ll sometimes want to talk about it.
Unfortunately, I don’t always have time watch that big Oscar nominated film at the cinema or read the latest Waterstones best-seller, so I can’t share witty thoughts about it on Twitter. Sometimes the only chat I have is the fact I am so tired I feel half dead inside, and I think admitting that may make one mum somewhere feel a tiny bit better about feeling half dead with tiredness too.
So here’s to more mum sharing online and less mum hating. I’m not ashamed to be a mum, or a woman, or a blogger.