There, I said it.
She accidentally discovered Facebook on my phone the other day, closing down Twitter due to the lack of pictures. I think she was searching for YouTube but can’t be sure. At the tender age of two and a half she is a social media queen. I hate it.
I never meant for her to use my phone, but there are times when 5 Little Monkeys on YouTube is the only way to avoid the Hugest Tantrum Known To Man in the middle of the supermarket. You’ve got to do what you need to sometimes, right?
Anyway, back to Facebook. I’ve banned it, but the ban seems to make her want to “do Facebook” even more. She likes to look at the cute pictures of babies in my timeline and laugh as she spots someone she knows in real life. She also likes to “like” Every. Single. Status update she sees and accidentally comment with witticisms like “dhrghnm04 rtj=s.xjgh;wiouy“.
Either way, I’ve become resigned to the knowledge that I may be able to stop this behaviour now, but at some point this child is going to cost me some serious internet money. It goes without saying Unlimited Broadband will be non-negotiable (it’s bad enough with two parents who rely on the internet for work).
I know, deep down, I have only myself to blame. In an ideal world my toddler wouldn’t even know what a mobile phone was – let alone Facebook and YouTube. She would never see me surreptitiously check my emails while cooking her tea and she’d be ignorant of the benefits of Twitter.
In an ideal world I wouldn’t rely so heavily on my apps and wireless networks and constantly be on the lookout for free Wifi hotspots when we’re out and about.
In an ideal world I’d live in the mountains where they filmed the Sound of Music, raising a singing angel, ignorant of technology and only cooking wholesome recipes devised by my own fair hand – not nicked off a top foodie blogger.
Never going to happen is it?
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