“Please can you put your shoes on?”
“If you’ve finished your cereal, bring the empty bowl in here.”
“Come and brush your teeth.”
(5 minutes later)
“Come and brush your teeth please.”
(2 minutes later)
“Come and brush your teeth. NOW!”
And so begins my morning. Every morning. I used to laugh when I’d hear adults muttering sentences like, “I don’t know why I bother. I may as well just go and talk to myself.” But now I know. I am familiar with the constant talking to yourself. Over and over again.
The brick wall when you ask a question that a stubborn 3 year old can’t be bothered to answer. The deaf ear she throws when you ask her to do something she doesn’t fancy doing. And the continuous, repeated pleas for her to PUT HER BLOODY SHOES ON.
Amazingly, I find there are certain sentences I only need to utter once before I get an immediate response.
“Would you like some cake?”
“It’s ice-cream for pudding.”
“You can watch CBeebies for half an hour.”
I have come to the conclusion that there is only one way to move forward and win this ongoing battle: say “ice-cream” at the beginning of every sentence.
Either that, or chuck out all the shoes.