Do you ever get sudden moments of realisation that you’re a grown-up? I do, all the time. It’s that jolt as I’m making the girls’ packed lunches that I suddenly see myself from the outside – a mum just like my own mum was, doing a mundane chore that is very boring but very necessary. Or it’s that moment when I’m reviewing our financial admin – life insurance, mortgage, building insurance – and I realise with a gasp that I’m in a position of responsibility, co-running a ship with adult things to consider like which bank account gives the best interest.
This is weird, because I don’t really consider myself to be a grown-up.
Sure, I’m 34 now, but in my head I’m still the slightly anxious, too loud 22 year old worried about what she would do with the rest of her life. I’m still not sure what I’m going to be when I’m grown-up (although, according to this TED Talk by Emilie Wapnick says this is totally OK and I’m one of millions who will have multiple careers and work projects in a lifetime…). When people ask me about grown-up things like PTFA meetings and career plans I’m still surprised. Are you talking to me? How would I know?!
But then I see my parents and realise I’m the age that they were when my earliest childhood memories were formed. I can still remember walking to the park with my dad, aged three, when my mum taught an evening class at home, for example. Or my mum running along the road behind me pushing me on my bike shouting for me to pedal – she’d have been 34 then, the age I am now.
So perhaps I am a proper grown-up after all. And perhaps some of us never really feel like proper grown-ups, no matter what age we are. This is why I know that one day I’ll probably be interested in things like Equity Release and reading the financial pages of the newspaper (in print or online), even if right now, that feels like a very long way off.
One day I’ll be interested in ways I could spend money released from my home, and I’ll spend time calculating how much equity we have and what that equity could be spent on if we didn’t have the immediate readies to pay for things like home repairs or later life care.
It’s scary really, because when I look at how quickly the past 15 years have gone, and how quickly the next 15 years is likely to go, I know that in just a second (if I’m lucky enough to make it that far) I’ll be an old lady myself, looking at my great grandkids and wondering where the years went.
But for now, I’m content to just play at being a grown-up and hope no one finds me out. And maybe, one day, I’ll wake up and actually feel like the grown-up that I am. Does anyone else ever feel like they’re just one step away from being found out as being not a proper grown-up?!
How do you know when you’re a fully-fledged adult anyway?!
Thanks to SunLife for working with me on this post. For more information about how I work with brands check out my Work With Me page.