I am all of the above.

I haven’t always been this way. In fact, I used to be pretty bloody good at switching off. Properly switching off I mean; shutting the laptop and turning down the volume on my phone. Pre-motherhood I thought a busy day was a 10 hour shift reporting on breaking news stories, with a rushed tea and only seven hours sleep rather than eight. Back in those days, I could quite easily walk through the door at the end of a long day and not think twice about soaking in a bath or watching a film.

Partly, I think the rise of social media is to blame. But I also think my own busy life doesn’t help. I spend so much of my time multi-tasking, communicating and juggling different roles, that when I actually get to sit down and stop…. I can’t.

I read this post by Alison at Not Another Mummy Blog the other day and found myself nodding my head in agreement. Alison admitted she’s not very good at “switching off” and often finds herself turning to blogging or tweeting etc when she should be lazing in the bath or watching telly.

Like Alison, I find it hard to stop. There’s always one more thing to do, one more piece of work to finish, one more chore to complete. When I eventually do sit down, I’m so out of practice at relaxing that I tend to sit there a big ball of twitchy nervousness. In an attempt to still my mind I do the worst thing possible – check my phone. And then my brain’s full of the chatter of Twitter or Facebook… and I’m even more wired than when I first sat down!

I was telling all this to a good friend of mine recently. And because she is such a good friend, a couple of weeks later she sent a book to me in the post. It came (unannounced) with a note, telling me to read it and make sure I started to be a bit kinder to myself. “Even if you let yourself have just one lie-in, then my work is done”, wrote my friend. (I have bloody brilliant friends.)

And I have been reading it. And I have been taking note. How To Be Idle is not for the faint-hearted. It encourages pulling sick days and ignoring deadlines. It’s probably not a book the boss would want you to start following to the letter. But it also makes a very good point: we are so busy these days, caught up in chasing material items and doing what we think we should be doing, that we don’t spend enough time thinking.

I can’t remember the last time I just sat down and mindlessly did a bit of knitting for a while. Or watched a film without feeling the need to check my emails at the same time. Or went for a walk (without my phone and the urge to capture it on Instagram) with absolutely no purpose.

Excuse me while I go all deep on you – but these things are all important for the soul. Taking time out, whether it’s lying in bed and looking at the ceiling, baking a cake just because you fancy it, pottering in the garden or meandering through a park for a little stroll, are all valid activities. I feel ten times better when I do something indulgent and lazy. I work ten times better afterwards, I am more focused, productive and organised.

So I’m making a pledge to myself to be more idle. Even if it’s just one evening in the week where I turn off my computer and fire down the phone. Rather than doing something I feel I ought to be doing, I’m going to do something I want to be doing.

Care to join me?

The post The art of doing nothing appeared first on Mother's Always Right.

That was November and December, but January and February have been different. My attempts at regaining some kind of control over what I take on and how I manage the working mum juggle seem to be working (most of the time).

I’ve made a few changes and taken a good look at what I can physically manage with the time I have to do what I need to do. It’s helped. I no longer feel like I’m drowning. Instead, I’m drifting along on a canoe, floating with the tide rather than trying to swim against it.

I am happy.

I’ve written a piece about regaining a sense of balance over at MAMA UK, which has been published today. I’d love for you to have a read and let me know how you manage your own juggle. I’ve put five of my own tips down there, but I reckon there’s room for far more.

Whatever happens, there’s always time for sweet goodies

The post Managing the juggle – a piece for MAMA UK appeared first on Mother's Always Right.

It was a rare couple of hours of solitude in an otherwise hectic schedule. As I sat under a pile of foils, hoping my hair wouldn’t turn green, I ignored the lump of mother guilt sitting in the pit of my stomach, choosing instead to concentrate on my showbiz current affairs magazine.

On being ushered to the basin for my rinse, I brushed away thoughts of not spending enough time that day with my toddler, turning my attention to the twinkly lights set deep in the ceiling.

And as the raw guilt and feelings of stress started to recede I was left with a huge question staring me blankly in the face.

With the deft massaging fingers of my hair guru doing their work on my scalp, the question started flashing before my eyes, in bright neon. I couldn’t believe that in the space of all my (nearly 29) years, I had never stopped to consider this burning issue before now: when having your hair washed at the hairdressers, should you sit with your eyes open or closed?

Clearly my immediate response to this question was to snap my eyelids open, meeting my lovely hairdresser eyeball to eyeball. Awkward.

So I clamped them shut again and feigned relaxation as I debated the issue in my head. That was fine until the water stopped and everything went quiet.

Assuming the hairdresser was busying herself preparing solution to be massaged into my follicles, and not wanting to look like I’d fallen asleep, I hesitantly opened one eye.

It was then I found my tormenter standing over me, leaning in to rearrange my towel. This time I was winking at her. Without question. Again, awkward.

Nonchalantly opening my eyes into a half open, half closed state seemed the best option. Until I realised that looked like I’d broken wind.

If only I could remember the unwritten rules of the hairdresser. It’s been far too long since I actually sat in a salon and was pampered. I don’t recall it being this stressful before.

So what’s the deal? Eyes open or closed?

The post Getting all deep and meaningful on you appeared first on Mother's Always Right.