It’s 7am and the house is silent, waiting.
I’m the first one to wake. Butterflies are dancing in my stomach. I haven’t felt this way since Christmas Day when I was nine.
It’s my wedding day.
Next to me, still fast asleep, is one of my best friends and bridesmaids, Ruth. We had an early night after a glass of wine and some pizza with my sister and other best friend, Ellen. The baby is still asleep in her bedroom next door.
I pad downstairs and put the kettle on, to try and still the dancing butterflies. I open the back door to check the weather and smile as the sun touches my face.
Like many women, I struggle to love my bum. It’s a bit wobbly and a bit pale. It’s also currently sporting a couple of well-placed mosquito bites, but that might be too much information for you.
Anyway, what with the wedding coming up (I know, I know, just humour me for one post – it’ll be over soon) I have decided to try and do something about it.
So I attempted exercise – and wet my pants. I tried those buffer scrubber things that supposedly get rid of cellulite – and ended up with a behind to rival a baboon’s in redness. Continue reading “How to have a yummy bum” »
Me
I have a big task ahead of me this evening.
It involves razers, tweezers, body scrub, nail varnish, moisterising fake tan and copious amounts of other potions and lotions. Because tonight, I am going to tame the beast. Continue reading “Taming the beast” »