Comments on: The danger of surrounding yourself with “yes people”

By: Molly

Molly — Thu, 30 Jul 2015 19:59:08 +0000

I can’t imagine you looking dreadful Ruth! But yes, truthful (but kind, polite etc) partners do us more of a favour I think. The t-shirt’s from Zara. One of my favourites this summer!

By: Ruth Walters

Ruth Walters — Wed, 29 Jul 2015 16:44:40 +0000

Feedback can sometimes be so brutal but likewise in benefiting from it so much – especially since I’ve been freelancing and also, since pregnant. I have had some days where I know I’ve looked glorious, other days when gee whizz, I shouldn’t have left the house! Andy has definitely been brilliant in finding the right way of confirming I do look dreadful – but in a very polite, understanding husband of a pregnant wife kind of way. It’s helped because it’s then meant I’ve been bursting with confidence on those better days. Also, that t-shirt you’re wearing with the dungarees – genuinely lovely, where can I get one?!

By: Polly

Polly — Wed, 29 Jul 2015 09:32:02 +0000

def something I’ve worked on – I never used to say ‘NO’ to anything, and would just agree with everyone for an easy life. Trying to stop that though!

By: Jess @ Along Came Cherry

Jess @ Along Came Cherry — Tue, 28 Jul 2015 19:17:49 +0000

Interesting… I would say that I’m not surrounded by yes people, I can definitely count on my dad, brother and Mr C to give me honest, helpful feedback. I would like to think I do the same back and definitely complain if my food is crap etc but depending on the situation I might be known to lie to make someone feel better instead of being honest! x

By: Adele @ Circus Queen

Adele @ Circus Queen — Tue, 28 Jul 2015 16:47:38 +0000

You should watch Silicon Valley, if you haven’t already. It’s a brilliant comedy about engineers trying to get a start-up off the ground. Funniest thing on TV at the mo, in my opinion. Anyway, there’s an ongoing joke about a CEO on there that’s like a manual on sycophancy. Even his personal spiritual guru dare not ruffle feathers. Couldn’t help but think of it reading this.

By: Molly

Molly — Tue, 28 Jul 2015 14:50:45 +0000

It’s funny how children can force us to change in many ways isn’t it Hannah? I know mine have had a huge effect on the type of person I am – even if I’m not always ready to admit it and accept that having kids has changed me!

By: Molly

Molly — Tue, 28 Jul 2015 14:49:34 +0000

You’re definitely right. I think I’ve learned how to spot if someone really wants honest feedback, for example, or if they just want a “smile and wave”!

By: Molly

Molly — Tue, 28 Jul 2015 14:48:14 +0000

I can totally relate to that Eleanor – I think I’m very similar.

By: Eleanor

Eleanor — Tue, 28 Jul 2015 14:14:52 +0000

As an automatic cheerleader for others but ‘no’ fetishist for myself, I think it’s important to listen hard to people when they talk and try to see through their negative or positive comments. For example, when you tell someone you’ve done something and they say ‘wow, that’s brave!’, do you THINK they mean ‘you are brave beyond my comprehension of brave’ or ‘woah, she’s brave doing that with her x/y/z, if i was her I wouldn’t’. That’s the tough bit for me – believing.

By: Kate

Kate — Tue, 28 Jul 2015 13:58:27 +0000

I think this is a very female thing as they grow up wanting to be people pleasers a lot of the time. I do not shy away from giving feedback in many circumstances. A lot of it comes down to how you give the feedback – there’s no need to be unnecessarily mean but given in the right terms, feedback is a positive thing.

I think a lot of people accept rough treatment at the hands of their employer because they feel they have no choice. As noted above, employers don’t always return the loyalty so it’s best to stand up to them. I think some employers work out who they think they can treat badly. Not every employer is like this and I think the recession made this worse as people really needed a job.

And there are a few times when it is best just to smile and wave. 😉