Why am I getting married?

I’m getting married in just over two days.

I’ll be promising to spend the rest of my life with one man, the (self-proclaimed) Northern Love Machine. The rest of my life. Forever. And ever.

Now, just a few weeks ago, I was asked why I was getting married. Apparently it’s not a particularly trendy thing to do nowadays. With one daughter between us already, we clearly don’t have the whole “sex before marriage” thing to consider. And we decided to have a baby together before we decided to get married, so marriage was never a factor in the family planning plan. I must admit, that question threw me a bit. I mean, why does anyone get married?

But according to the statistics, they don’t. Not any more anyway. The National Statistics Office says there are currently 2.2 million couples cohabiting in the UK. That’s a lot of couples, none of whom are married. Obviously. The same set of stats also show a steep rise in the number of people cohabiting. Of those born between 1966 and 1970, 18 percent were cohabiting between the ages of 25 and 29, compared to 26 percent of couples the same age, who were born between 1971 and 1975. And in 2008, 45 percent of births in England and Wales were outside of marriage, compared to just 8 percent in 1971. It seems many couples share the view of myself and the NLM that marriage doesn’t necessarily have to come before babies.

As a bride-to-be, the numbers can make quite gloomy reading. They confirm I really am so last decade. In fact, I’m not even last decade – I’m last century. Whichever way you look at it, far fewer people are getting married. But, on the upside, far fewer people are getting divorced. So maybe there is something to be said of this marriage lark after all.

Which brings me back to the question, why am I getting married?

Marriage is clearly an incredibly personal decision. Some people choose to tie the knot for religious reasons, some for social reasons, some because they like the idea of a pretty white dress and some because, well, they’re just romantic. For me, it’s a bit of all of those, minus the religious part, with some other stuff thrown in for good measure.

I’m getting married because I love the NLM. Yes, he farts, leaves bogies on the pillow, gets his words mixed up, isn’t particularly good at hanging up wet towels and is far too laid back for my liking. But he’s also incredibly protective, loyal, easy-going, thoughtful, affectionate, fun, funny and gorgeous. And he’s a rather good cook.

I’m getting married because I want the same name as my daughter and her father. I want to be officially included in the family unit, even if I do choose to keep my maiden name for work purposes. When people assume I’m “Mrs Weaver”, I don’t want to have to correct them all the time.

I’m getting married because, at heart, I’m a hopeless romantic. I want to get old with one person, have a history of shared experiences, create a family which will get bigger and bigger. And I like the idea of promising the commitment all of that brings to one person, in front of all the people I care about. Call me old fashioned, but I want the piece of paper.

I’m getting married because I want to wear the pretty dress and have a brilliant party. I want to hear what my dad has to say in his speech and I want to see all my friends and family in one room. I want the excitement as I drive to the (civil ceremony) venue. I want the butterflies as I prepare to walk down the aisle. In short, I want the wedding.

And, among all my reasons, there’s the obvious one. The one you don’t often hear in arguments defending this so-called untrendy and ageing institution: I’m getting married because he asked me, and I said yes.

Remember, I’ve been shortlisted for a Gurgle Blog Award. You can vote for me to win best funny blog category right here.

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Comments

  1. says

    you had sex before marriage?? I thought frog was immaculate….

    As an old married woman I offer you the following advice, marry for love, its better than money. enjoy every second of the day, dont worry about the little things, let frog be someone elses joy for the day, this is yours and your husbands day – enjoy it!

    Have a fabulous day, cant wait to see the pictures, will be thinking of you!

    (By the way: do you know you have chosen to get married exactly a year to the day that I started blogging…… are you trying to steal my thunder? xxxx)

    • says

      But of course. This is exactly why I chose to make the 27th my wedding day! Thank you for your wise advice, as ever. Thankfully I will be marrying for love and not money. There’s no money in our pot so the NLM can be completely secure in the knowledge I’m not a mercenary bride-to-be after his cash!

  2. says

    That last reason sounds like the clincher to me! I think it’s great that you stopped and gave it some serious thought before doing it, not many people do. And the fact that you wrote it on your blog will be very useful a few years down the line cause we all tend to forget the reasons why, and a good reminder in our own words would do us the world of good. Have a wonderful wedding day! (will be anxiously awaiting pictures and recap of course!)

    • says

      Oh I’m sure there’ll be pictures to follow. Very excited now. But I agree, so many people forget the marriage part of the wedding. Ironic really, as the wedding only lasts one day (unless you’re mega rich and can afford a whole week of celebrations!).

  3. says

    I hope you have a wonderful day! Frog too! I’m sure she’ll shine. much love to all 3 of you in fact. It sounds like you’ve got your priorities right. I got married for the right reasons too and it has been the best decision of my life. The difference?
    ……………….I asked him!

  4. says

    When we announced our engagement, one of our friends, indiscreetly giddy on champagne, proclaimed that he didn’t need a piece of paper to prove the love he has for his partner. Setting aside the inappropriateness of this statement considering what we were toasting, I acknowledged that, although obviously I didn’t agree, it was a debate worth having. Three years into marital bliss and I can happily conclude that the piece of paper he so quickly dismissed is one of the most important and precious documents I have had the pleasure of signing. My marriage certificate represents a public and legal acknowledgement of a fantastic life being lived with a fantastic man. Although it is tucked away in a filing cupboard behind my expired E111 and council tax bills, I couldn’t be prouder of it. Have a wonderful day Molly. While you are getting ready, be sure to take a breath, a sip of champagne and enjoy the moment. Can’t wait to see the pictures. x

    • says

      What a lovely comment, thank you. I can completely see how the piece of paper is something I’ll treasure. It’s about making a public declaration of commitment to the man I love, corny as that may sound. It doesn’t mean I love him any less being not married to him, but there’s something about making it “official” and all that represents that makes it extra special. x

  5. granny from the north says

    Saying yes was the best decision I ever took, apart from having three beautiful babies, which I guess were because I was married to the most handsome man in the world. (Father of NLM) Grandad from the north had quite a feat to overcome first however – asking my dad if he could have me (to get married you understand). No sex before marriage in 1971! Another plus was once I was engaged to Father of NLM my dad let me stay out after 10pm curfew…we are really looking forward to seeing you and NLM take your vows…enjoy every minute! x

  6. nanny sophie says

    awwwwww!
    love this!
    have a fabby day, im sure your look gorgeous as always! lots of love
    nanny sophie xxx

  7. says

    Am soooo excited for you.. You’re going to have the best ever day.. May all happiness be yours.
    Well not all happiness.. There has to be some left for me obviously.

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