Have you ever been so tired you have walked past a wheelie bin and thought it looked rather comfy? Have you ever been so tired you feel all drunk and floaty and a bit giggly…before realising you’re at baby swimming lessons and should probably get a grip before someone calls Social Services?
Well I have. In fact, it is quite normal for me to feel like this at least once a week.
Sleep deprivation is a funny old thing. It can make you swing from feeling physically sick to ravenously hungry. You can be laughing hysterically one minute and crying hysterically the next. In short, it makes you a bit barmy. Actually, sleep deprivation is not particularly funny at all.
The worst thing about sleep deprivation has got to be not knowing when it will end. Before you have a baby, you know that, even if you are really really tired, you will be able to give in to sleep at some point in the near future. Not when you have a baby, though, oh no. Imagine running a marathon and being told at the finish line you have an indefinite distance still to cover. Then you have some idea of what being a new mum is like.
The thing is, Frog is not a particularly bad sleeper. She is not the worst, but she is not the best. She has slept through the night a few times. But then she throws a massive curve ball and is up every hour or so.
As if it is not bad enough being up all night with a miserable baby, you then have to field questions about it. Is it a growth spurt? Teething? Too hot? Too cold? Has she picked up a bad sleep association? I don’t bloody know! I barely even know my own name I’m so tired!
So I ring my mum for sympathy. Fat chance. “Well at least you know how I felt. You didn’t sleep through the night until you were five.” Great, thanks Mum.