• SELF LOVE & BODY IMAGE
  • MOTHERHOOD
    • Pregnancy
    • Babies
    • Kids
  • ADVENTURE
  • STYLE
    • Interiors
    • Fashion
    • Beauty
  • FOOD

Mother's Always Right

Mum life, body image, style

  • ABOUT
  • PRESS
  • Podcast
  • Public Speaking
  • YOUTUBE
  • WORK WITH ME
  • #FreeFromDiets campaign
You are here: Home / SELF LOVE & BODY IMAGE / Dear New Mum, your body is normal

Dear New Mum, your body is normal

July 24, 2018 by Molly Leave a Comment

Dear New Mum,

Congratulations! You made a baby!

Now, as the euphoria fades, and you start to find time to sneak back onto Facebook or perhaps even watch a bit of Love Island while snuggling your newborn, I want you to remember something: your body is not an elastic band. It is not meant to “snap back into shape”. You just did something amazing – you grew a human. The best thing you can do for your body and your mind right now is to reward them with a rest and a biscuit.

There are far, FAR more important things to worry about at this moment in time than “losing the baby weight”. You might be tempted to do a crash diet to “feel comfortable in your own skin” again. Perhaps you want to see the pounds slip off and your body shrink back to it’s pre-baby shape so you feel “more like yourself”. But the thing is – sorry to break it to you – getting your pre-baby figure back will NOT get you your pre-baby life back. And that’s OK!

Gradually, over time, as your baby grows and your life settles into your new normal and – fingers crossed – you get a bit more sleep, you might see your body change shape again. Your womb WILL contract, your stretchmarks might fade a little and your body will start to feel like yours again. But remember, our bodies are not meant to look the same at every point in our lives. Your body has done something incredible, it’s not meant to look the same as it did before. The way it looks now is testament to the work it put in to give you this beautiful baby. 

Those new mum exercise videos, diets and weight loss articles are part of a big business. A big business that plays on your insecurities and vulnerabilities as a new mum. A big business whose main aim is to tell you that you are not enough right now, as you are. They’re wrong. You ARE enough. Right now. Just as you are.

It’s normal for bodies to stretch when they make a baby. It’s normal for stretchmarks to appear. It’s normal to put on weight and for boobs to balloon and droop and for all these other things that may be happening to your body. For every one magazine photo you see of a celeb looking pristine and perky within days of giving birth, there are a million more women who have soft, round, beautiful bellies, tired eyes and no make-up. These mums are just as beautiful.

Next time you look in the mirror, tell yourself one kind thing about what you see. If you’re struggling to do that, stand in front of the mirror while holding your baby, just in case you need a reminder of how amazing your body is and what it has done.

Well done.

Now, go and enjoy those biscuits.

Love,

A mum who has been where you are now

xxx

Filed Under: SELF LOVE & BODY IMAGE Tagged With: body confidence, body image, mum body image, new mum, new mum body, self-acceptance, self-love

« Digital confidence and life goals from a 70 year old
Why it’s OK to love yourself »

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Hello and welcome! I'm Molly Forbes - podcaster, presenter and blogger with a passion for positivity, confidence and body image chat. Regularly writing and vlogging about empowering female issues from a motherhood angle, I also cover lifestyle and fashion topics for like-minded mums who want to rediscover themselves after having children. Thanks for stopping by! Read More…

  • Bloglovin
  • Facebook
  • Google+
  • Instagram
  • Pinterest
  • RSS
  • Twitter

YOUTUBE

INSTAGRAM

ALL children have the right to feel good about the ALL children have the right to feel good about themselves and their body - not just the ones who “look healthy”. Children are being taught at a younger and younger age that their body is a problem that needs to be fixed. 
.
The current climate of intense body shaming disguised as health concern is creating policies which actively damage the relationship children have with their bodies. There is a huge amount of evidence showing that the better kids feel about their body, the more likely they are to make choices that make their body feel good - like taking part in movement or eating in a happy, intuitive way. 
.
Making health all about weight not only damages kids’ body image, making them either feel like their body is “wrong” or fear it becoming “wrong”, it also gives a free pass to the diet industry to aggressively market their products at children, under the guise of health. Ironically, encouraging kids to engage in dieting and habits which are actively bad for their health. This culture affects ALL children.
. 
And of course this version of health, and this focus on making kids’ bodies the problem, lets the politicians off the hook. Easier to put the nation on a diet instead of investing in policies which will reduce inequality and give everyone access to the things needed to live a full and healthy life.
.
There is a silver lining though, because we can choose to be part of the solution. We can say no to diet culture at home and challenge it when it pops up in the spaces kids should be safest.
.
If you’re a teacher our Body Happy Kids workshop is an intro to this subject with tools for creating body happy spaces for the children in your care. Find out more and sign up via my bio. ❤️ #BodyHappyKids
To lift the mood after the last week, here’s a t To lift the mood after the last week, here’s a throwback to this time last year when I roped my husband into filming me for an alternative Love Island title sequence. Out of shot: a packed beach full of people confused why a woman is doing multiple bikini changes under a towel and instructing her husband on different camera angles while her bemused children look on 😂. The video was an alternative title sequence for if Love Island was filmed in Devon and featured a mum the “wrong” side of 35 and the “wrong” side of a size 10. 🔥 HAPPY BLOODY FRIDAY you lovely lot 🥂🥂🥂 #BodyHappyMum #MumsGoneWild
[Stat from @themilitantbaker’s brilliant TED Tal [Stat from @themilitantbaker’s brilliant TED Talk] 
.
Poor body image and weight stigma are serious public health issues. These are complex, far reaching issues that impact us on an individual and societal level in many ways. This thread isn’t to say that each of these things alone accounts for the fact kids as young as three are feeling bad about their body, but combined, they create an environment that makes it really tough for children (and adults) to like their body just as it is, regardless of what it looks like.
.
If you care about health you need to be aware that weight stigma kills and poor body image has serious health implications. Want kids to eat more nutrient dense food and move their body? Stop shaming them and teaching them their body is wrong, because research shows body hate is NOT a long term motivator for treating a body with care or respect. 
.
And then realise that even when kids ARE eating more nutrient dense food and moving more this will not guarantee their body will shrink. And this doesn’t mean they are unhealthy, despite what the headlines might tell you.
.
Kids’ bodies don’t need “fixing”. Society needs fixing. Give every child access to good food and safe spaces to move and play. Eradicate inequality and discrimination, challenge stigmatising language. Raise awareness in the mainstream media of what many health professionals already know: health is complex, multi-faceted and is hugely impacted by socio-economic conditions. Saying it’s all down to “personal responsibility” lets the politicians off the hook. 
.
Maybe then, as a nation, we can have a fair crack at good health. Until then I’d argue it’s not about health at all, it’s about money. 
.
#bodyimage #BodyHappyKids
In an alternate universe I’d be packing for a ho In an alternate universe I’d be packing for a holiday to Cantabria in Spain right now. Yet here we are. This summer is brought to us by Argos (paddling pool) and Monki (cozzie). FYI I’m still bikini all the way, but prefer a cozzie for when I get serious doing lengths at the pool 🏊‍♀️🏊‍♀️🏊‍♀️ #bodyhappymum
Did you know that many of the health outcomes blam Did you know that many of the health outcomes blamed on being in a bigger body can be attributed to weight stigma and weight cycling rather than the weight itself? But despite a huge amount of evidence showing this to be the case it’s rarely reported in the mainstream media and doesn’t form the basis of health policy. 
.
You know what’s also bad for health? Inequality. Again, not something informing policies that conveniently apportion blame and simplify weight as all being down to personal responsibility and “lifestyle choices”. 
.
If this government really cared about the health of the nation they’d look at the impact of weight stigma and inequality and create health drives based on these things, instead of saying that putting calorie counts on food labels or telling people to go for a bike ride would make everything better. 
.
I am all for people living in a healthy way, if they wish to and if they can. Eat nutrient dense food, sure! Move your body, sure! Just don’t assume this will automatically lead to weight loss, or that anyone in a bigger body isn’t already doing these things. 
.
The latest focus on the weight of the nation makes me scared for how this will impact children. Will kids get put on diets and begin a lifetime of harmful weight cycling? Will it give yet another green light for bigots to go on national TV and say hugely discriminatory, offensive and uneducated things about people in bigger bodies, thereby perpetuating the weight stigma that we know is so bad for health? Probably. But who cares as long as £££ is being made and the weight loss industry is booming. 
.
It’ll keep us all distracted from issues like the inexcusable number of children living in poverty and the many families in the UK struggling to access nutrient dense food.
.
Look beyond the headlines and the health rhetoric, know that the shape of your body does not signify your worth as a person. And challenge any person or article telling you different.
#bodyimage
School’s out for summer! Effie did half a term b School’s out for summer! Effie did half a term back at school and to celebrate the end of a very strange school year she had a virtual party with all her classmates hosted by @partypeepsbristol on Zoom. It was the cutest, most relaxing kids’ party I’ve ever organised - no sandwiches to make, balloons to blow up or tidying up afterwards 😂 All Effie’s classmates joined in, even the ones who haven’t been in school the last few weeks, so they could all see each other. It was half an hour of interactive games, including treasure hunts, magic tricks and dancing. The only way I can describe it is like Ant and Dec’s Saturday Night Takeaway for kids! 
.
I’ve popped up some snippets on my Stories today so you can see, but if you’re looking to throw a safe, stress-free party for your kids I highly recommend it. I just wish I knew about it before Freya’s birthday back in June 😭 . 
.
Big thank you to Jay from @partypeepsbristol for such a brilliant, innovative and interactive party ❤️ (See his skills in action on Stories - it’s something to behold!)
.
[PS. This isn’t an ad but I’m very happy to share my thoughts here cos it was a smashing experience for Effie and might benefit other kids missing their mates too 💕]
#mumlife #motherhoodthroughinstagram
Follow on Instagram

Copyright © 2020 · Mothers Always Right. Design by Stacey Corrin

This site uses cookies: Find out more.