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You are here: Home / MOTHERHOOD / Kids / Dear School

Dear School

September 7, 2014 by Molly 20 Comments

Dear School,

I know you probably get this all the time and I expect you’re over the whole “WAIL! My child is too young for school!” thing. But if I didn’t write this on the eve of my daughter starting school for the first time then I wouldn’t be much of a mum blogger would I?

I’m also aware that this whole starting school thing isn’t about me. It’s about my child and her readiness for taking on a new adventure, not about my readiness to accept she’s no longer a baby.

And I know that you have lots of other kids to worry about and mine isn’t the only one meeting a huge milestone tomorrow. 

All these things are true, School. But I still have some polite requests. In return, I promise to get my daughter to class on time, promptly reply to school letters and – you never know – I may even volunteer for the PTA.

So, my requests….

Please look after her while she’s with you. Please remember she only turned four a couple of months ago. Please be kind and give her some reassuring words if she cries when I leave her. Please help her to make new friends and give her plenty of opportunities to play.

Please cut her some slack if she’s tired and needs a quiet rest with a story – she still regularly falls asleep in the afternoon at home after all. Please give her a hand cutting up her school dinners if she asks you for help, she’s still getting the hang of using her knife and fork on trickier meals.

Please don’t be too quick to grade her or decide on her level of academic attainment – she’s more than a number on a sheet. Please give her time to settle in and flourish. Like I said, she only turned four a couple of months ago.

I’m trusting you School. I hope this is going to be the beginning of an exciting, fun and interesting time for my daughter.

I’m putting my own wobbles away. I won’t bore you with the fact that, in my head, it’s only about five minutes since my daughter looked like this:

I won’t take up your time sharing my inevitable feelings of wonder that the past four years have slipped by so quickly. I won’t indulge any bereft feelings I may harbour after spending our best ever summer together as a family.

I’ll leave you to find out for yourself that my daughter is independent, funny, stubborn, but sometimes shy. I’ll leave you to discover that her loves in life at the moment are Peppa Pig, Olly Murs, telling herself stories and dancing.

Get ready School. Because she’s ready for you. Bring it on…

Yours,

A First Time School Mum.

 

Filed Under: Kids, MOTHERHOOD Tagged With: first day at school, Foundation year, primary school, school, starting school

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Comments

  1. Leanna says

    September 9, 2014 at 11:12 pm

    Ah cute! And if you do decide to join the PTA, it will be the coolest newsletter ever! 😀

    Reply
    • Molly says

      September 10, 2014 at 8:49 am

      Ha – I hadn’t thought of that! x

      Reply
  2. Ghislaine Forbes says

    September 8, 2014 at 8:31 am

    Touching words. Now I feel teary! F will have a great time and at least Gove won’t have too much of a hand in her education now. Love ma x

    Reply
    • Molly says

      September 10, 2014 at 8:51 am

      You can’t cry Mum, you didn’t cry when I started school! I think your actual words were, “I positively skipped down the road after dropping you off!”. xx

      Reply
  3. Catherine says

    September 7, 2014 at 9:47 pm

    Good luck Freya – the teacher may be feeling a little nervous too!!!!

    Reply
    • Molly says

      September 10, 2014 at 8:52 am

      She loved every second and announced that school is more fun than being at home. Long may that attitude continue!

      Reply
  4. Jodie says

    September 7, 2014 at 8:34 pm

    This is great! So well said too. Good luck little lady in your new adventure. And good luck Molly, with those pregnancy hormones it’ll be hard not to cry yourself.

    Reply
    • Molly says

      September 10, 2014 at 8:52 am

      Amazingly I managed not to cry. I think because F was so happy and excited it really helped!

      Reply
  5. Helloitsgemma says

    September 7, 2014 at 8:31 pm

    It’s all up hill after day one. Have fun x

    Reply
    • Molly says

      September 10, 2014 at 8:52 am

      Up hill? Say it doesn’t get harder?! xxx

      Reply
  6. Laura says

    September 7, 2014 at 8:10 pm

    Oh oh oh. Good luck Molly! Frog doesn’t need it – she’ll be FINE, and love every exhausting second.
    Make sure you do something nice for you as a distraction while you wait for that clock to tick round…

    xxx

    Reply
    • Molly says

      September 10, 2014 at 8:53 am

      You’re so right – she loved it. She’s been up at 6.30am every day asking when it’s time to go again!

      Reply
  7. Jane @ northernmum says

    September 7, 2014 at 6:57 pm

    oooh she is wearing a tie! oh little froglet

    Reply
    • Molly says

      September 10, 2014 at 8:53 am

      I know – she seems far too little to be wearing a tie!

      Reply
  8. Alison says

    September 7, 2014 at 6:39 pm

    This is lovely and says everything that I’m sure I’ll want to say in a year’s time. I can’t wait to hear how Frog gets on! Good luck Frog – and Molly – tomorrow!! x

    Reply
    • Molly says

      September 10, 2014 at 8:54 am

      She loved it – and I bet G will be exactly the same. I’d hyped it up in my head and was all prepared for tears etc but there was none of that. It was all very calm and she happily waved me goodbye. Here’s hoping it continues to be a success! x

      Reply
  9. Louise says

    September 7, 2014 at 5:59 pm

    Georgia and Maisie often fell asleep and was left in the quiet area and Mrs P put a blanket over them 😉 Marcus was too hyper for a mid day snooze!!!

    Reply
    • Molly says

      September 10, 2014 at 8:54 am

      Bless them – I can clearly picture M and G fast asleep in the quiet area! x

      Reply
  10. The Breastest News says

    September 7, 2014 at 5:57 pm

    Aww hope all goes well for her first day tomorrow 🙂 She looks super cute in her uniform. Can’t believe she’s only just turned 4 and going to school! My son is almost 5 and started school 2 weeks ago, he loves it btw and can’t wait to go each morning so fingers crossed for yourself.

    Reply
    • Molly says

      September 10, 2014 at 8:55 am

      I know – seems so little but she loves it so hopefully this year will be a success! x

      Reply

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Hello and welcome! I'm Molly Forbes - podcaster, presenter and blogger with a passion for positivity, confidence and body image chat. Regularly writing and vlogging about empowering female issues from a motherhood angle, I also cover lifestyle and fashion topics for like-minded mums who want to rediscover themselves after having children. Thanks for stopping by! Read More…

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Dear PE teachers (and everyone), don’t do this 💔
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If you’re a PE teacher and you’re interested in engaging more kids in class then lose the diet culture and body shaming messaging - even if it’s meant in jest. Research shows kids who feel comfortable in their body are more likely to take part in sports, and movement is for ALL bodies, not just the kids with super athletic toned ones. 
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Want more insight and help with this stuff? Sign up to a Body Happy Kids workshop - we’ve got you. Oh, and read Train Happy by @tallyrye in the meantime.
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And parents - if your kids experience this type of messaging in their school setting absolutely challenge it. We’ve got a template letter on the #FreeFromDiets website you can tweak and a downloadable info pack about the workshops you can send to your school if you’d like them to sign up. Just hit the Workshops link in my bio and scroll down towards the bottom of the page.
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Creating a body happy setting can: 
⚡️increase engagement in class 
⚡️increase engagement in movement 
⚡️increase academic attainment 
⚡️increase happiness, confidence and overall wellbeing
⚡️help kids be more likely to engage in health promoting behaviours 
(And that’s just for starters).
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PS. I’m not coming for teachers - my husband is one. BUT research shows weight bias is often more common in PE teachers than other subject areas so this is a conversation worth having. 
#BodyHappyKids
I turn 37 in three weeks. When I was younger I use I turn 37 in three weeks. When I was younger I used to think 37 was old. It was “grown-up”, boring, over-the-hill. 
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By the time you were 37 you had your life figured out, wore sensible clothes and had waved goodbye to the fun stuff. 
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It’s no surprise I thought that really. Women aged 37 and over - particularly mums - were invisible. The only representations of older women on screen were the matriarchs. Ad campaigns and magazines featured young women in their “prime” (side note: 🤮 hate that phrase - what does “prime” even mean? We’re not cuts of meat. “Prime” baby making age? Is making babies all we’re good for?!)
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There was no space for any other version of women over 35. Women over 35 weren’t playful, fun, adventurous, sexual, curious. Women over 35 were Responsible, Sensible, Dutiful.
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Well that’s not what 37 is going to look like for me. Sure I do school runs and meet deadlines and wash smelly socks. But I also play and dance and adventure and enjoy my body. I feel like I’m just getting going to be honest. 
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37 is going to be a big year. I’m excited. I’m ready. And I’m certainly not invisible. Bring it on.
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#BirthdayCountdown #MumsGoneWild
Every year @GirlGuiding publishes something called Every year @GirlGuiding publishes something called the Girls’ Attitudes Survey. It’s a big piece of research into the thoughts and feelings of the girls in their community and gives an insight into some of the things that are important to girls and young women in the UK today. 
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The early findings of the 2020 survey have been released and the headline is (surprise, surprise) girls feel under intense pressure to look a certain way and it’s damaging their confidence and wellbeing. 
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Here are some of the stats:
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⚡️80% of girls and young women have considered changing how they look. 
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⚡️51% of girls aged 7-10 believe women are judged more on what they look like than what they can do (this figure is up from 35% in 2016).
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There’s also the finding that two thirds of girls support legislation to stop them seeing ads for diet products and weight loss clubs. 
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It makes for pretty devastating reading but is worth looking at, particularly if you have a daughter - I’ll link to the early findings in my Stories and the full report will be out next month.
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These girls are telling us not only do they feel this intense pressure to look a certain way, but that it’s causing them pain. They are telling us they don’t want the pressure, the ads, the constant barrage of negativity making them feel insecure about their appearance and their body. It’s costing them their wellbeing, confidence and health. 
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It’s time to listen.
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Sign the #FreeFromDiets petition. Tell your kids’ school about the Body Happy Kids Workshop for teachers. Call out diet culture when you see it (particularly when it comes for your kids). There are more resources in my bio as well as a post on media literacy further down my grid too. It doesn’t have to be this way. 💕✨ #BodyHappyKids
My babies started Year 1 & Year 6 today and as I w My babies started Year 1 & Year 6 today and as I waved them off to school after months of being home, it got me thinking about how my relationship with their first home has changed: my body. ❤️
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I have thin privilege but I’ve still often felt like my body was “wrong”. Why? Because like many of us I live in a society that taught me to fear fatness and idolise thinness from an early age. 
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Internalised fatphobia ran so deep that even after my body performed its most miraculous feat of my life - growing and birthing a human - I feared the softness of my belly.
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I justified the internalised fat phobia by telling myself it was about health, believing that health was a simplified concept I could control and monitor by a number on the scales. 
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And even when I started to suspect diets weren’t healthy I still failed to recognise the total system of oppression that diet culture is, how it harms so very many people including children, how it creates a culture where discriminating against people over their weight is seen as acceptable under the guise of health concern.
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I believe we will never end body-based oppression until we do the internal work too, rejecting diet culture & internalised fat phobia. Then we can challenge the health “facts” we’re sold by a multi billion £ industry, and investigate why we’re so ready to accept government diet culture infused health policy when we’re quick to question other policies.
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It starts with us showing body acceptance to our children, teaching them ALL bodies are good bodies, giving them the tools to question anyone who says otherwise. 
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This is not just about raising children at peace in their body. It’s about raising children who grow to challenge a system that harms us all, but particularly those in marginalised bodies. 
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For me, it started with exploring my feelings about my babies’ first home. ❤️
A little story about 🩸periods🩸 and intuitive A little story about 🩸periods🩸 and intuitive movement and diet culture - here’s the headline: DIET CULTURE MESSES UP OUR RELATIONSHIP WITH OUR BODY AND THIS HARM RUNS DEEP.
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Let me explain. 
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This was me last week. We hiked up a hill and when we got to the top the sky turned a murky shade of grey. Within seconds we were being pelted by hail and rain. It was GLORIOUS. I felt ALIVE.
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Not so this week. Because this week I got my period. And instead of relaxing into it, being gentle with myself, I battled it. I got frustrated with myself when exhaustion hit and my brain felt soupy. I tried to dig deep to find my spark, my energy, I felt guilt at missing swim sessions I’d booked. 
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Why? Because diet culture runs deep. I examined it and realised I was feeling guilt at what I’d told myself I “should” be doing, rather than what my body *actually* needed. “No one regrets a workout! It’ll pep you up! Energise you!” Said the voice. But my body was bleeding and I was tired to my bones. I didn’t feel like it. And I felt like I was letting some invisible person down. 
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Last night I gave myself permission to be gentle. Cancelled all my swim sessions for a couple of days. Had a bath and put on my comfiest PJs. Turned off my laptop and phone, watched a film and had an early night. It’s what my body needed, and once I actually listened to it I felt so much better. 
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Embracing the seasons of my cycle and going with my natural energy levels is how I’m reclaiming my relationship with my body, I’ve decided. For me, this is the last internal bastion of rebellion against diet culture. And it’s (literally) bloody liberating 🩸⚡️💥
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#BodyHappyMum #JoyfulMovement #DevonIsHeaven #PeriodPower #WeBleed
No child comes fresh out the womb doubting their b No child comes fresh out the womb doubting their body. But, little by little, the messages come.
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Some of the messages may be from what they see online on TV and in magazines. Some of them may even come from the people who love and care for them - their friends, parents, grandparents, teachers and even doctors. Some of the messages are blatant and some are more insidious.
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It’s not hopeless though. Here are some things you can do, right now:
✨ Speak to yourself with kindness or use neutral language about your own body in front of your kids.
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✨Call out the messages when you see them - point them out and talk about what they’re promoting, and show your kids the other perspective. This is called media literacy and I’ve got a post further down my grid with lots more info on this.
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✨ Teach your kids that beauty and health don’t just look one way, and that regardless of the outside shell of our body all humans deserve respect, empathy and love - and that includes self-love. (Some mantras that I use with my kids to help drive this message home - ALL bodies are GOOD bodies 💕 It’s not your job to be pretty 💕 Your body is YOUR OWN.)
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✨ Seek out wider representation, whether that’s through books, social media accounts, positive TV shows and films, it all matters.
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✨ Set clear boundaries - if you have a family member or friend who constantly discusses diets, body shames themselves or makes comments about other people’s bodies (and maybe even your child’s) have a conversation with them about why this isn’t OK. Explain that little ears are always listening and you’re working hard to raise your kids to have a happy, healthy relationship with their body. 
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For more resources on this check out the links in my bio ❤️
#BodyHappyKids
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[📸 My one day old daughter’s foot in my hand, taken in 2010, by @carolinepalmerphoto]
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