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You are here: Home / PLAY / Not going out

Not going out

September 16, 2012 by Molly 8 Comments

I was dull this weekend. Incredibly, boringly, hideously sensible. But it was worth it.

The last couple of weeks has seen me struggle through each day with an exhausting cough, racking my body with each bellowing bark. I’ve struggled to sleep, speak and breathe. It’s not been ideal – especially as one stream of income relies on my speech. It’s hard doing radio when you have a cough threatening to erupt all over the microphone every two minutes.

But it was my oldest friend’s birthday this weekend. I wanted to be at her party in Bristol more than anything. I’d been looking forward to a night of irresponsible behaviour, having too much to drink, dancing and catching up with friends I haven’t seen for years. On Friday night I was starting to feel better. I put my cough to one side and half made up my mind to be at the party the following night – no matter how I felt.

And then I woke up on Saturday morning and knew I couldn’t go.

The cough was still there. I was tired from a 60+ hour week of work and our renewed term-time activities of swimming, Monkey Music, etc etc. I looked at my busy two year old and knew that if I pushed my body to the limit that night, I would pay for it every day for the following week.

So I cancelled.

I was in a mood all yesterday afternoon and evening. Suddenly, I was 14 again, worrying about missing the party and all the fun stuff. I watched The X Factor in my slippers and felt about 60 years old. I slouched on the sofa, feeling thoroughly miserable, ill and unsociable. My husband remarked more than once that I was “too bloody mardy” and needed to “pull myself together”.

But this morning, as my toddler padded into our bedroom and clambered into bed with us, I knew I’d made the right choice.

I woke up in my own bed, without feeling dead. I didn’t want to put a pillow over my head as I mourned a lack of sleep and too much wine. I felt – cough aside – human.

So rather than continue the “mardiness”, I ended up in the park by 9am, pushing Elton John on the swings. I did a bit of housework (desperately unusual for me) and actually met a work deadline more than 48 hours in advance. We went blackberry picking and I baked a crumble.

Sometimes it pays to be dull.

Remind me of this next weekend.

Filed Under: PLAY Tagged With: friendships, motherhood, Parenting, relationships, socialising, toddlers, wine, working mum

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Comments

  1. Ghislaine Forbes says

    September 17, 2012 at 1:15 pm

    This near 60 year old would never watch X Factor on a Saturday night! love ma x

    Reply
    • Molly says

      September 17, 2012 at 6:12 pm

      Sorry Ma – I meant Strictly… x

      Reply
  2. mymummylife says

    September 16, 2012 at 9:15 pm

    This is me… I always get so excited about going out, and then in the 24hrs prior start to dread every second. It can go either way; sometimes I make myself go and have an amazing time; sometimes I cancel and feel bad but grateful. Life would be a different place with more sleep!

    Reply
    • Molly says

      September 17, 2012 at 6:13 pm

      I would have loved to have gone if I hadn’t got the cough of doom. With my hectic work schedule I can only maintain the hours if I’m on top form – and last week I wasn’t feeling great so knew a weekend of too much wine and not enough sleep would finish me off!

      Reply
  3. Kate says

    September 16, 2012 at 8:00 pm

    I feel like that! We have been away part of 3 of the last 4 weekends and I’m paying for it in the week. Having said that, we got home last night and today, I went to Body Pump, then after lunch, I ended up baking with my two (biscuits and soda bread) and before I know it, it was teatime and homework was still not fully done so I oversaw that. It was half past 6 by the time I finally got a shower. But it was totally worth it as they were telling OH when he got home what they’d done and were very proud of their efforts. And the fact that they’re actually ready for the week at school.

    Reply
    • Molly says

      September 18, 2012 at 6:58 pm

      Blimey – just reading this comment made me tired! You did all that in one day?!

      Reply
  4. Middle-Aged Matron says

    September 16, 2012 at 7:54 pm

    Your trouble is that you are a long hard slog away from middle age. When you reach it you’ll realise that three nights out a year are ample.

    Reply
    • Molly says

      September 18, 2012 at 6:58 pm

      I’m already starting to think that way now. And I’m not even 29 yet. There’s no hope.

      Reply

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Hello and welcome! I'm Molly Forbes - podcaster, presenter and blogger with a passion for positivity, confidence and body image chat. Regularly writing and vlogging about empowering female issues from a motherhood angle, I also cover lifestyle and fashion topics for like-minded mums who want to rediscover themselves after having children. Thanks for stopping by! Read More…

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Trying this thing where I live in the moment, cele Trying this thing where I live in the moment, celebrate my wins and stop focusing so much on my fails. I’ll let you know how it goes 😬✨🤞
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[Image description: Molly in the bath with pink water, holding a glass of prosecco. She has her eyes closed and is smiling.]
The self-isolation ends today so I’m planning a The self-isolation ends today so I’m planning a hike this weekend with my favourites. I don’t even care if it pours with rain, everyone is grumpy and I can’t open the thermos cos my husband’s screwed the lid on too tight. 
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I’ve missed the outside and it’s only been for two weeks, which feels pathetic to admit given that so many people are trapped at home perpetually, either through lack of accessibility, having to shield, or having little or no support for chronic health conditions or mental illness. 
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I’m so aware of how privileged I am to be able to go outside and stand under the sky on top of a big hill this weekend. I won’t forget it, or lose sight of that, for a minute. ✨
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[Image description: Molly and her two daughters, age 6 and 10, stand on a hiking trail with a valley behind them. They all wear outdoor hiking clothes - boots, jogging bottoms and jumpers - have their arms in the air and are smiling.]
Hey! Are you a teacher in a school with dwindling Hey! Are you a teacher in a school with dwindling budgets? Or maybe you run a kids’ club or youth group that relies on donations to keep going? Then I’m looking at 💥YOU💥
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On Tuesday November 3rd I’ll be hosting a ✨FREE✨ Body Happy Kids workshop at 2pm. There are 10 places up for grabs and you can apply via the link in my bio. These places are reserved for those that can’t afford the regular sessions (which cost £25 a place / £125 a group).
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It’s a one hour, evidence-based interactive workshop giving an introduction to body image and children, how it intersects with well-being, safeguarding and attainment and what you can do to make your setting a “body happy” one to give kids the best chance to thrive. 
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You also get a free course notes booklet, activity pack and attendance certificate for CPD journal purposes too ⚡️
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So far this workshop’s been delivered to over 150 teachers, lecturers and youth workers both in the UK and further afield, since it launched back in June.
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If you do have the budget then you can book onto one of our paid sessions now via the Workshop link in my bio. (Shout out to the brilliant team helping to deliver these sessions @effinitupfaye @amysnellingpt @bodyconfidencecards & @lottie_storey !) 
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Hopefully one day we’ll be able to deliver these in person, but for now they’re all taking place on Zoom.
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Tag someone you think could benefit from the opportunity, or let your kids’ school know! (PS there’s a downloadable info doc on the website you can send them for more info 👀) SWIPE ➡️ for testimonials 💕 #BodyHappyKids 
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[Image description: A yellow slide with pink and blue patterns and the logo spelling “Body Happy Kids workshops”]
It’s been a crap day - for no reason other than It’s been a crap day - for no reason other than I’ve hit a wall after 11 days of self-isolation. (Sharing this with the caveat that I know I’m hugely privileged and many others have it far worse, but toxic positivity is a thing and I think it’s important to share the less-than-shiny stuff too, particularly on an app that can trick us into thinking everyone else is living their best life every day.)
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Today I woke up feeling numb. Literally nothing. I couldn’t bring myself to get out of bed. I just lay there looking at the ceiling trying to ignore the daylight outside. Until a huge bolt of anxiety hit and stayed in my stomach all day. Usually I’d go for a walk, or a swim, or just have a chat with a pal on the school run, but that’s obviously not possible right now. 
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This year I’ve invested a huge amount of time, brain space and emotional energy into a piece of work that recently finished. I expected to feel relief when it was done but instead I feel... weird? Like, a bit bereft, lost, anxious. A bit out of sorts, and not sure what to do with myself. 
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I’ve got zero motivation to start the next big work thing on my list but also finding it super hard to just sit still and give myself some time and space. Plus, self-isolation 😬.
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So instead of trying to go all jolly jazz hands and force myself into denying the funk, I’ve decided to sit in it for a bit. Feel the feels, as they say. Allow myself to be grumpy, irritated, anxious and a bit sad and lonely. 
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It’s ok not to be happy all the time. It’s ok to feel the messy stuff. Solidarity if you’re feeling it too. ❤️ #MentalHealthMatters 
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[Image description: A photo of Molly in her kitchen, her face covered by messy hair, holding a mug. Her daughters play in the background and there’s an unemptied food bin on the kitchen counter. She is not smiling.]
(REPOST: I’m reposting this with just the body-s (REPOST: I’m reposting this with just the body-shaming tweet and without the paparazzi photo of Billie Eilish that accompanied it. Someone rightly pointed out that everyone sharing the photo doesn’t help Billie and on reflection I agree - it just gives more power to the person who took her photo without her permission.)
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That said, I stand by the sentiment of my original post. Ain’t nothing wrong with a “mid-30s wine mom body”, or any body for that matter. #AllBodiesAreGoodBodies #BodyHappyMum 
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Thanks to @alexlight_ldn for originally highlighting the absurdity of the original body shaming tweet (written, by the way, by a 29 year old man hiding behind a faceless avatar, which says it all I think). 
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[Image description: A graphic showing a tweet which reads “In 10 months Billie Eilish has developed a mid-30s wine mom body. Next to it is a photo of Molly in underwear with the caption “I’m 37, a mum and drink wine. Here’s my glorious body!”]
Self-isolation uniform as standard ✨ (PS She’l Self-isolation uniform as standard ✨ (PS She’ll always be my baby. May she always know how lovely she is 💕)
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[Image description: A photo of Molly sitting on her sofa with her 10 year old daughter. Molly is wearing pyjama bottoms and a sweatshirt saying “Good Enough”. Her daughter is wearing leggings and T’shirt. They are both smiling.]
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