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Thoughts on happiness, decluttering and big purchases

Thoughts on happiness, …

October 14, 2015 by Molly 1 Comment

Hi, I’m Molly. I’m an author, journalist, campaigner and Executive Director of the social enterprise The Body Happy Organisation. Sadly this blog is now essentially defunct as I simply don't have time to write here any more but deleting it felt too much like burning all my old love letters to my kids, so here it still is. If you're interested in me and my work your best bet is to catch me on Instagram where I still post regularly. Thanks for stopping by :) Read More…

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As we head into a new week, how many other kids ar As we head into a new week, how many other kids are worrying about school tomorrow due to body insecurities or appearance based bullying? 
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If the research is correct, then rather a lot. In fact, earlier this year a cross-parliamentary committee into body image found 66% of children feel negative or very negative about their body most of the time. 
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Poor body image is a public health issue. For schools, body image needs to be included in any conversations about student wellbeing, safeguarding, policies to improve engagement and academic attainment and anti-bullying strategies. 
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Some thinking prompts to consider if you’re an adult who’s ever around children (feel free to share your thoughts in the comments, but no pressure!):
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⭐️ If you’re a parent - how are you helping your kids think critically about some of the diet culture messages that uphold body ideals? How can you encourage conversations around these subjects in an age appropriate way? How are you ensuring your kids see a wide range of representation of different body types? How are you helping them see that all bodies are good bodies?
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⭐️ If you’re a teacher, on a board of governors in a school, or on a school PTFA team, how are you ensuring your school environment nurtures positive body image in students? How are you bringing your colleagues into these conversations and raising awareness of an issue that is still so often overlooked? How are you encouraging your SLT team to include body image awareness in CPD training and school governing policies?
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This stuff is HARD. It’s systemic, and will require collective action to see change. There is support out there though - check out the resources, products and training at @bodyhappyorg 
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I firmly believe we can make a change, so that other 12 year olds like this one can also have victory moments too. ❤️
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Knowing - I mean REALLY knowing - that MY body is Knowing - I mean REALLY knowing - that MY body is my OWN was a breakthrough moment for me when I was mending my relationship with my body. 
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I used to think other peoples’ judgements of my body mattered more than how I actually felt in my body, and I often put those external pressures above all else. And let me clear: as a straight-sized non-disabled white woman those judgements were minimal compared to what others go through.
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But still they came - from boys’ comments about my boobs, my hairstyle and my skin in my teens, to peers’ comments about my food choices or my outfit choices etc etc right through my late teens and adulthood.
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If I’d just known then that it was MY body, MY rules and that that was what mattered above everything else, I’d have felt at peace in my body a lot sooner, I think.
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Btw if any of this resonates and you’re looking for resources / support to raise kids who are friends with their bodies too, then you might be interested in what’s going on at @bodyhappyorg at the mo. There’s a deal on the Masterclass and new Pocket Boosters (two of which are pictured here). 
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If you want to spend your pennies in a socially conscious way this #BlackFriday then this is it.
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I know the noise is super loud at this time of year and the pressure on parents can be immense. But if you know someone who might benefit from this please do pass it on. 
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What we lack in marketing budgets we make up for in passion, dedication and the knowledge that our kids really do deserve better than the current diet culture narrative. 
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Their body. Their rules.
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[Image description: A photo of Molly in her pants holding up two cards from the Body Happy Org Pocket Booster Pack which say “my body, my rules” and “I am brilliant just as I am”.]
I wrote my book for parents and caregivers. But re I wrote my book for parents and caregivers. But really it’s for anyone who’s ever around children. To know teachers are reading it is a hugely big deal for me. 
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We run CPD workshops for schools at @bodyhappyorg but to know organisations like @avthousandhours are supporting #BodyHappyKids and our mission to help create a culture that allows children and teens to love the skin they’re in is everything. 
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Thank you @thatchcreativeuk for the message and telling me about your brilliant work, and thank you for sharing my book with 11 schools in Kent. 
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I’d love to hear from other professionals working with kids in the comments here too ❤️❤️ And if you’ve read the book then leaving a rating or review on Amazon or Good Reads helps new people find it too. I’m told the Amazon algorithm particularly is set up to recommend new reads to people based on the number of reviews it has. It takes 2 secs to rate it and you don’t have to have bought the book there to do it. THANK YOU 🥰
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My eldest daughter, Freya, is 11 years old. I’m My eldest daughter, Freya, is 11 years old. I’m painfully aware of the body image challenges on the horizon as she navigates secondary school, social media and relationships. 
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Eating issues, self-esteem issues and anti-fat bias are rife in this age range and Freya’s peers aren’t immune to this - I know because she tells me. 
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There was one conversation she was upset by, where another child was commenting on a younger kid’s body under the guise of health. Yes, 11 and 12 year olds can concern troll too. 
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The biggest thing I try to do is create a safe space for her to land, for her to talk about this stuff with me. 
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Sometimes I share advice with her but mostly I just listen, or ask her questions to help her work through things on her own. 
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I want to encourage her to get curious, to challenge the diet culture rhetoric she hears elsewhere, and to think of ways she can advocate for some of the kids who are harmed by these ideas. (And, often, the ones who are harmed are also the ones doing the harming. A child exhibiting major anti fat bias may well have their own body insecurities and possible issues around food.)
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We’ve used the new @bodyhappyorg Pocket Boosters a lot as conversation prompts. Freya might be too old for some of the games her sister enjoys playing with them (although I think she does secretly like the Pairs game 😊️) but the cards have led to some really lovely chats about advocacy, body ideals and consent. 
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These are some pics we took together of them the other day. We’re using them to make a Body Happy Advent, and Freya was asking how we chose the affirmations in the pack, and talking about what she took them to mean. It was pretty lush to be honest. I bloody love this kid. ❤️❤️❤️
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PS You can get the Pocket Boosters from the @bodyhappyorg online shop. Probably should have mentioned that before 😂
Introducing… the POCKET BOOSTERS! 🥳🥳🥳 Introducing… the POCKET BOOSTERS! 🥳🥳🥳

Our first ever manufactured product at @bodyhappyorg is now live and it gives me all the feels to think of these being used to support kids to be friends with their bodies.

Based on one of the toolkits in my book #BodyHappyKids they’re an evidence based interactive resource - they come with 8 different games and activities, but watch the video for some more tips on how to use them. 

We are a tiny social enterprise company on a big social impact mission and your support means everything.

Please tell your pals and share with anyone you think will benefit from having the Pocket Boosters in their life! 🙏❤️✨

Big thank you to @aceandping for doing such a great job on the product artwork and bringing my idea to life 😍😍😍

[Video description: Molly and her children play with the new Pocket Booster Pack, an affirmation card activity game designed by the social enterprise The Body Happy Organisation CIC.]
So many lovely messages and comments since my last So many lovely messages and comments since my last 🎻 post. Thank you ❤️ Turns out I’m not the only one feeling drained atm. @mumologist did a great post about this collective exhaustion yesterday. I feel her caption, hard.
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Sharing this pic from a a few weeks ago when we visited the big blue box, not because I want to document our time in the IKEA car park, but because I wanted to talk about body image, self compassion and home…
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I’m not going to suggest a cushion splurge at IKEA is going to make you feel better about your body (if only it were that simple) but there’s definitely something to be said about the physical urge to nest, to hunker down, to create a soft space to hibernate and for our bodies to land.
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I remember feeling this viscerally for the first time aged 11 when I was allowed to redecorate my bedroom and use all the tips I’d learned from my fave TV show of the 90s, Changing Rooms. My room was my sanctuary, a space I kept tidy and clean, that had my name on the door. 
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This nesting urge came on strong when I was pregnant. I felt it physically, this desire to create safety and sanctuary for my body and growing baby. And I feel it again regularly at this time every year, as I hunker down into our “burrow” while the nights draw in. 
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The comfort of clean sheets and soft cushions are a way for me to show my body comfort and care. My tidy desk soothes my busy mind, bringing some order and reassurance to dampen rising work-related stress levels. 
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Put simply, for me, my surroundings deeply affect how I feel in my body and mind. I know this isn’t the case for everyone, but it is for me. 
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Is this something you notice too? Or is it just me…?
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[ID: Molly and her daughters stand in the IKEA car park. It’s a sunny day and they are smiling.]
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