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You are here: Home / MOTHERHOOD / Kids / Things don’t need to be Pinterest perfect to be perfect

Things don’t need to be Pinterest perfect to be perfect

October 8, 2016 by Molly 3 Comments

It was Baby Girl’s birthday party today. We weren’t going to do one for her, but I panic booked the village hall three weeks ago in a fit of mum guilt and there we go – party on the horizon, no time to plan it but it was happening. End of.

This party is the third we’ve thrown in the same village hall. And it couldn’t have been more different to the very first party we had in that village hall just over two years ago. That party was the first one I’d ever put on of that kind – Frog’s fourth birthday party, a rainbow themed event. It might not have been meticulously planned down to every detail, but it made me realise that things don’t have to be Pinterest perfect to be perfect. Indeed, take Pinterest out of the equation and sometimes you get a higher level of perfection.

Baby Girl’s party had no entertainer, no homemade decorations, no colour co-ordinated food or specially prepared bunting. It was full of balloons and snacks bought in haste from Home Bargains. The party bags were generic plastic ones, full of generic plastic tat (sorry to anyone who ended up with a whistle – pot luck for parents, that one). There were a few grapes and cut up bits of token cucumber, but the main event was the non-Instagrammable birthday cake and the Party Rings. This was certainly not worthy of a styled up birthday Pinterest post.

But you know what? It was perfect.

Know what you need to throw the ideal kids’ party? Willing friends, a few toys, a wide open space for them to run around in and music. And perhaps a chocolate cake and a few sandwiches. That is literally it. You don’t need colour-co-ordinated party decorations – toddlers don’t give a crap about that stuff. You don’t need a styled up party table or an expensive party entertainer. You don’t need themed food or a cake that you stayed up til 1am to bake.

At Frog’s first village hall party I stayed up til gone midnight making the Pinterest-perfect rainbow layer cake. I spent weeks fretting over party decorations and ended up making a load of my own. I got up at 6am on the day of event to make homemade pizza and decorate said pizza in a rainbow theme because someone on Pinterest suggested this was a “must” for a successful party.

I wish I’d saved myself the hassle. Frog enjoyed that party but her happiness wasn’t heightened by the pretty food or homemade decorations. All she cared about was the cake (and, to be honest, she probably would have preferred a chocolate one I bought from Tesco) and the fact her mates were there. Which is exactly all Baby Girl was bothered about today.

Life isn’t Pinterest. Half the time we get in a state about organising a kids’ party to Instagram perfection it’s because we a) want to impress the other parents b) want to impress our Instagram followers c) we want to prove a point to ourselves. Is it because we think our kids will have a better time with artfully decorated fairy cakes over Party Rings bought from Home Bargains? No. At least, not in my case.

Please remind me of this next year when I inevitably worry over Baby Girl’s third birthday party.

PS. Prosecco for the parents is always a good idea.

 

 

Filed Under: Kids, MOTHERHOOD Tagged With: birthday party, instagram, kids birthdays, Pinterest, real life, real mum life, real parenting

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Comments

  1. Jayne Crammond says

    October 9, 2016 at 4:19 pm

    A friend did something similar a few years ago, a hall with a tiny bouncy castle and some ride on toys, music through an iPod dock and a little buffet of sandwiches and crisps. Did the kids care that they didn’t have a theme or an entertainer? No. Did they care that they didn’t have a cardboard hat with an uncomfortable elastic strap to wear? Not in the least! Often the simplest things are the best and it’s ALWAYS the adults who get hung up on the details, not the kids (who usually want to just get hopped up on e-numbers and tear around for a couple of hours!). Great post.

    Reply
    • Molly says

      October 11, 2016 at 11:41 am

      You’re so right Jayne – it can be fun planning a Pinterest style party, but I must admit I probably got the most satisfaction out of the end result looking “Pinterest pretty” than any of the kids!

      Reply
  2. grandma from the north says

    October 8, 2016 at 7:58 pm

    Happy Birthday darling girlXX

    Reply

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Hello and welcome! I'm Molly Forbes - podcaster, presenter and blogger with a passion for positivity, confidence and body image chat. Regularly writing and vlogging about empowering female issues from a motherhood angle, I also cover lifestyle and fashion topics for like-minded mums who want to rediscover themselves after having children. Thanks for stopping by! Read More…

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Just popping in to bring some sexy realness to you Just popping in to bring some sexy realness to your feed and remind you not to compare your life to an edited highlights reel. Here I am on my swanky holiday in a five star hotel freshly woken after a refreshing eight hours’ sleep in silken sheets wearing my designer nightwear. #LifestyleGoals
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I think it’s concerning when doctors write diet books, particularly when they are well known celeb doctors. Not only does it drive a weight-focused health agenda (side note: doctors! Read Health At Every Size by Lindo Bacon PhD!), but it perpetuates anti-fat bias in the medical community. 
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And this matters why? Because weight stigma and health are not compatible. Research shows many of the health outcomes blamed on weight can be attributed to the effect of weight stigma rather than the weight itself, but ALSO weight stigma means many people put off going to see a doctor due to past upsetting experiences in the GP surgery OR they are not properly diagnosed because their weight is the focus of the consultation. 
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Look, I’m not coming for doctors. I appreciate you and know you’ve done an exceptional job in the pandemic. Again, my sister is a doctor. BUT doctors are a product of society just like you and me. They are human with their own internalised biases. It’s important we remember this, particularly if their prescription involves nutrition advice which many dieticians would condemn as being actively bad for health.

#BodyImage
Re-sharing this vid from January to show, despite Re-sharing this vid from January to show, despite what fatphobic attitudes would have you believe, body acceptance does NOT mean “giving up”. It IS possible to enjoy moving your body without weight loss being the ultimate goal. 
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Diet culture has messed up our relationship with exercise just like it’s messed up our relationship with food. And the government’s Better Health campaign just continues to perpetuate the myth that exercise is a weight loss tool, and that those in bigger bodies can’t be fit. WRONG! 
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⚡️Did you know research shows people who are fat and fit live longer than those who are thin and unfit? ⚡️Did you know weight stigma and anti-fat attitudes are a massive barrier for many people who want to work out? ⚡️Did you know that exercising for intrinsic reasons (how it makes you feel) over extrinsic ones (how it makes you look) is a better long term motivator for consistent exercise? ⚡️And did you know that a study in 2007 showed people who are motivated to exercise for health and enjoyment reasons had a lower pulse, systolic blood pressure and salivary stress hormone levels while those motivated by weight loss had none of these physical measures? Fitness through a diet culture lens is NOT the one! 
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If you want kids to enjoy movement then teaching them that all bodies are good bodies is absolutely KEY to a lifelong healthy relationship with exercise. 
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But also: other people’s bodies and health habits are none of your business! People have the right to respect and dignity REGARDLESS of their health status. 
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And finally (I’ll put my megaphone down in a sec) ALL movement is valid, despite what the “go hard or go home” crew tell you. It’s YOUR body, move it however you want, however it feels good, and not to “atone” for the “syns” you ate at your last meal ❤️❤️❤️
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[ID: Celebrate Your Body book by Sonya Renee Taylor]
Tonight should be our first night on holiday in Sp Tonight should be our first night on holiday in Spain. Made up for it with a meal outside at the village pub and a “late” bedtime (any evening out past 8pm is late for us!). Devon is heaven ❤️ #mumlife
ALL children have the right to feel good about the ALL children have the right to feel good about themselves and their body - not just the ones who “look healthy”. Children are being taught at a younger and younger age that their body is a problem that needs to be fixed. 
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The current climate of intense body shaming disguised as health concern is creating policies which actively damage the relationship children have with their bodies. There is a huge amount of evidence showing that the better kids feel about their body, the more likely they are to make choices that make their body feel good - like taking part in movement or eating in a happy, intuitive way. 
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Making health all about weight not only damages kids’ body image, making them either feel like their body is “wrong” or fear it becoming “wrong”, it also gives a free pass to the diet industry to aggressively market their products at children, under the guise of health. Ironically, encouraging kids to engage in dieting and habits which are actively bad for their health. This culture affects ALL children.
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And of course this version of health, and this focus on making kids’ bodies the problem, lets the politicians off the hook. Easier to put the nation on a diet instead of investing in policies which will reduce inequality and give everyone access to the things needed to live a full and healthy life.
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There is a silver lining though, because we can choose to be part of the solution. We can say no to diet culture at home and challenge it when it pops up in the spaces kids should be safest.
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If you’re a teacher our Body Happy Kids workshop is an intro to this subject with tools for creating body happy spaces for the children in your care. Find out more and sign up via my bio. ❤️ #BodyHappyKids
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