This is the sight that greeted my husband as he went to wake our almost-2 year old daughter this morning. It’s a blurred picture, completely out of focus. This is because he was shaking with fear as he took it.
I blame the wee.
The stench of it, apparently, was rather strong. There were patches in at least three corners of the room.
Last night was the first night Frog slept in her cot, without the prison bars on, you see. Despite sleeping in a proper bed on our trip to Devon, the novelty of being in her own big girl’s bed was clearly too much to handle.
Not knowing what to do with herself, she did everything.
- Throwing her teddies a party at 12am, 1am, 2am and 3am.
- Getting up stealthily at 7am and taking off her pyjamas and nappy, before going into each corner of the room and marking her territory, rather like a feral cat.
- Emptying an entire box of nappy bags and baby wipes.
- Taking every book off the shelf.
- Putting on ten pairs of socks. And then weeing on them.
- Running back into bed and feigning sleep as her father arrived in her bedroom to bring her morning milk. (Two minutes later, he was a broken man.)
It is now the second night of Freedom. And, almost two hours after being put to bed, my child is still running amok upstairs.
I give it 24 hours before the prison bars are replaced.
Grandma from the North says
How strange I cant remember this phase, but obviously did it three times! She’s having a great time!X
Maybe your boys were better behaved than your granddaughter!
Creased up laughing here at the thought of her weeing in every corner! (Sorry, I can only imagine that it wasn’t so funny for you!)
Maybe we should get F together with DorkySon – he won’t even get out of his bed unless I come in to the room to get him. They could train each other – she could give him a bit more spirit and courage, and he could persuade her that widdling all over her room is not the best idea! xx
That’s a fabulous idea. You are SO lucky!
hahahahahaha! Sorry but can’t stop laughing reading through your article.
Admittedly, I’ll probably laugh on this in years to come.
Honest Mum says
Oliver moves into a new room soon and a new bed-literally shitting myself and no doubt he will be too….
It’s, *ahem*, “interesting”.
Oh dear! We’ve got as far as putting Dylan’s ‘big boy bed’ in his room so he can get used to it but haven’t managed to persuade him to get in it yet. I’m sure similar carnage awaits us when he does ‘sleep’ in it though. Good luck!
He may be fine – you never know! If he is, I’ll be mightily jealous though.
Coombemill - Fiona says
Oh dear sorry to laugh, so funny! Do persevere, the novelty of escaping will wear off!
Oh I recall these painful moments. If I had to give any advice it would be put everything that you don’t want upturned or smeared well out reach and add a toy that she rarely plays with in to the room either once she is asleep to fox her when she wakes up or to occupy her before bed 😉
Best of British!
I think the weekend will be spent putting up shelves that are 6 ft high at the top of the walls. And padlocking tops onto any tub of cream. It’s the only way.
family four fun says
Thanks for the important reminder how chaotic this time is, think I will leave C a good while later or E will probably lynch him for destroying his (their) room! x
Circus Queen says
Im laughing at the socks! I keep hearing that you should keep them in their cots for as long as possible. I’m thinking 10. Of course, T has to make it her cot first! Happy carpet cleaning!
Ten is definitely a good age. I’m all for keeping the cot until aged ten.
Oh my god! I couldn’t help but laugh at this and I also had to read it to Dad2BabyInsomniac! We were thinking about getting Iyla a toddler bed soon. Having read this I think I will wait, until she is five! I hope things improve soon! x
Wait until she’s ten. It’s the only way!
oh lordy!! We had to threaten H that toys would go if she kept getting out of bed – that and removing anything she could destroy – I think she’s grown out of it… now she just drinks water in bed and spills it all over her duvet…
I told her tonight that Dorothy The Dinosaur would not be happy if she kept getting out of bed tonight… seems to have worked. That and telling her that they won’t let her in at The Wiggles on Saturday if she isn’t a good girl….
Maybe that’s the secret. If I threaten to ban Peppa Pig and Iggle Piggle bedtime may once again become the calm and sleepy time it once was.
jane @ northermum says
I was going to warn you but thought it would be giod blogging fodder… The twins were three when we took them out, libs is only out now because of cast!
Get the bars back on x
Our carpet would certainly thank us for it…
oh for a spica cast! I expect Erin will one day do this – part of me wants my little girl to be able to get up to mischief and part of me smiles at the relief that in the morning she is in exact same spot I left her in the night before!
Seriously – make the most of it Emma! We found F last night with her pyjama bottoms on her head and ten pairs of socks on each foot, underneath some jelly shoes, pretending to be asleep under the covers. MAKE IT STOP!!!
Oh yes Molly, I have just read put loud your blog to my husband. What does that remind you of I asked? Oh no! he said,” Gussie McGrew” – our now 14 year old son. He too played havoc night after night we continuedt o persevere but after about 10 days we (N) threw in the towel, climbed into the loft and replaced the side of the cot! There it stayed for about 6 more months until we could face another attempt. That time it was fine, no trouble at all. Good luck but if she’s not ready relax and wait. Dont try to force the issue. Xxx
I give it one more night. She was perfect at my parents’ at the weekend. Slept in a big bed with NO ISSUES. Not once did she even attempt to get out of bed. Apparently the lure of her own toys in her own bed is too much to handle!
Oh gosh! Nearly wet myself laughing! It’s amazing what they do with their newly acquired ‘freedom’. We could hear our little one get out of bed, go to the bathroom, blow her nose and then try flush the loo roll. She would also strip and try the potty although she isn’t potty trained. Stacking cups land up in strange places and now that she is settled and completely confident, she strolls into our room at 6.30 am, calls for us both and opens our blinds!!!!!!
Stick with it. She will be fine. You will be fine. Good luck
Your daughter sounds very much like mine!
sorry, this made me chuckle!
Hair bobbles were invented to wrap around wardrobe door handles to prevent them being opened.
Carabiners were invented to rig up locks on drawers that couldn’t be fitted with drawer locks
Gaffer tape was invented to prevent unwanted opening of nappies
High shelves are a good place to put everything else – just make sure they’re higher than back of chair+reach of toddler+another foot
Stick with it, she’ll soon get bored (hopefully!) x
That’s it. I’m investing in a huge supply of gaffer tape tomorrow. She’s a little monkey. It’s like she’s suddenly turned into a toddler overnight – and a naughty one at that!
and what was it you wrote on my post only a few hours ago…. “Is it bad that this behaviour makes me think he’s even more of a cutie?!”
ditto ! mwahahahaaaaa
Ha ha – shot myself in the foot there… x
Bwahahahahah! I remember it well!
It’s a bloody pain! x