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You are here: Home / ADVENTURE / Recent adventures in play dates

Recent adventures in play dates

April 13, 2017 by Molly 15 Comments

One of the things that keeps me sane as a mum who works from home, who’s with her kids almost 24/7, is the play date. The good old play date is a chance not only for kids to catch up and learn those all-important socialising skills, but (possibly more importantly) a chance for mums – or dads – to connect with another adult and chat about something other than Peppa Pig.

When we first moved to Devon I remember being worried that my then three year old would miss out on play dates. And, if I’m honest, at first she did. I tried really hard to break into a clique of pre-school mums in the town we first lived in but it just wasn’t happening. Every morning I’d plaster on my biggest smile and hope that one of them might invite my kid round for a play but I was a newbie and, for whatever reason, it took a while before someone accepted us into the fold. 

Back then, I didn’t know anyone where we lived. It might sound a bit desperate but I recall scribbling a note with my phone number down on a scrap of paper and asking one of Frog’s pre-school key workers to pass it onto the mum of the little girl Frog loved so much. That mum took pity on me and texted me, arranging a play date for the following week. Sometimes bravery pays out.

Anyway, fast-forward three years and we’re now living in a little village just up the road from that first town we rented in when we relocated down here. School has proven a great resource for mates – not just for my six year old but me and my husband too. Play dates are now littered across the calendar like my daughters’ hairbands and My Little Ponies across their bedroom floors. This brings me relief.

This Easter holiday we’ve had multiple play dates. The only difference with these ones is that they’ve included both children and often the husbands too. Being at home over Easter has been a chance to catch up with friends and plan days out together with multiple families, evenings where the kids get to play and the parents get to party (i.e. barbecue sausages and drink prosecco) and, despite the odd toddler moment of one-up-man-ship, everyone’s been happy.

This morning I took the girls solo to a garden centre nearby. It was a Wyevale one – the same chain we visited back at Christmas for a Father Christmas breakfast – except this time we went to the one a bit further down the road. One of my antenatal group friends had booked the Easter breakfast, which proved to be BRILLIANT. Full-on Easter room decor, dressed up staff Alice in Wonderland style, cooked English for adults and kids, cookies to decorate, an Easter egg hunt, meet the Easter bunny and then toys for the children at the end. Winning on all levels.

This play date was added to the beach picnic play date at the start of the holidays, the impromptu barbecue party we hosted and the hot tub barbecue evening at our lovely friends’ house last weekend. Even though we haven’t gone away anywhere it’s felt like we’ve been on holiday partly because South Devon is like that at this time of year and partly because we’ve always had things to do and people to see.

I’m not telling you this to brag. Our life is a perfectly imperfect mess of disorganisation, chaos and hilarity just like every other family I know. But I wanted to share with you the huge pros of getting together with other parents and their kids – particularly if you’re a new mum and feeling a bit intimidated about getting out there (as I did when I first became a mum).

You could argue that if kids have siblings they don’t need play dates, but I disagree. My girls thrive on time together but they also thrive on time with their friends. In fact, Frog loves hanging out with Baby Girl’s friends just as much as vice versa. Yeah we get toddler dramas and issues over sharing and one child will inevitably want to play a game that another doesn’t, but that’s all part of learning to be a human isn’t it?

If you’re after any more persuasion that play dates are the way forward, even when they’re chaotic and involve arguments, then here’s a video I made recently with my buddy Sarah from The Unmumsy Mum. It IS possible to have a play date where your toddler announces she “hates” her friend, and still be smiling at the end of it… I promise!

Filed Under: ADVENTURE Tagged With: days out, Family days out, motherhood, mum life, Parenting, play dates, toddlers

« 11 Lessons I’ve learned so far this holiday
Life lately – the one about Easter »

Comments

  1. Gill Crawshaw says

    April 20, 2017 at 11:47 am

    Playdates are so good when you have an older child and a tiny baby, too, aren’t they? You can sit with the baby (and drink tea) while the older child plays. So much less stressful than them getting bored in a cafe or you worrying that they will run off!

    Reply
  2. Rachel says

    April 19, 2017 at 1:00 pm

    Playdates have been a life saver for us but it took a while to start opening the conversation. I’m glad we did though!

    Reply
    • Molly says

      April 19, 2017 at 6:09 pm

      It’s an effort and scary at first but so worth it isn’t it?

      Reply
  3. Alice says

    April 18, 2017 at 6:10 pm

    This has made me think that playdates are so important. I think when you’re self-employed it can be really tricky, it’s so easy to forget the playdate in favour of the iPad and work. I must make time for more!

    Reply
    • Molly says

      April 19, 2017 at 6:10 pm

      It’s SO easy – but so important every now and again. I’m definitely guilty of trying to sneak work in – which is fine a little bit – but I couldn’t survive without my regular play dates and neither could the kids!

      Reply
  4. Katie Albury says

    April 18, 2017 at 4:10 pm

    We’ve been having play dates since Elsie was teeny tiny! It was literally the only thing that would keep me sane and get me through some of the roughest days. It was always good getting out and meeting friends who would reassure me that I wasn’t totally losing my marbles! haha! So pleased you’ve got a good social circle down now, it must be so hard when you move to a new area. Loved the video, kids say the funniest thing! x

    Reply
    • Molly says

      April 19, 2017 at 6:10 pm

      It’s definitely the most daunting thing about moving somewhere new I think. xx

      Reply
  5. Claire B-W says

    April 18, 2017 at 11:33 am

    Play dates are amazing. especially on day trips when you can share the work load out between you. Take it in turns for loo trips and sun cream applications.
    My mummy friends are honestly like my co parents some days, they keep me sane! And in an incredible bonus we have 9 kids 6 and under, between me and my two besties, so a great circle of ages and interests to keep them all socialised.
    Roll on the summer holidays!

    Reply
    • Molly says

      April 19, 2017 at 6:11 pm

      Ah they sound like lovely friends! xx

      Reply
  6. Alison says

    April 15, 2017 at 2:08 pm

    I LOVE playdates – especially ones that involve some wine or prosecco. They can be a bit stressful to host but my crowd of mum friends are really good at mucking in!

    Reply
    • Molly says

      April 19, 2017 at 6:11 pm

      YES to playdates involving wine or prosecco!

      Reply
  7. Sarah Rooftops says

    April 14, 2017 at 6:48 pm

    Totally agree – play dates keep everybody sane (more or less). I’ve been known to force my number onto unsuspecting parents in the park- it’s well outwith my comfort zone but I just keep telling myself that any grown up who spends weekdays in the park is likely to welcome a bit of conversation and somebody to distract the kids while they shove a biscuit in their mouth.

    Reply
    • Molly says

      April 19, 2017 at 6:12 pm

      I love that idea of forcing your number on parents at the park – I wish I’d done more of that when F was tiny! x

      Reply
  8. Jo Middleton says

    April 14, 2017 at 12:32 pm

    I agree that play dates are important. Belle has a sister, but she is seven years older, so having friends her own age to play with was really important when she was growing up.

    Reply
    • Molly says

      April 19, 2017 at 6:13 pm

      I think we’re in the same boat – with a four year age gap between mine it’s so important they get time to hang out with their friends their own age too. Although to be honest F is often just as happy to hang with the toddlers these days, bless her!

      Reply

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Hello and welcome! I'm Molly Forbes - podcaster, presenter and blogger with a passion for positivity, confidence and body image chat. Regularly writing and vlogging about empowering female issues from a motherhood angle, I also cover lifestyle and fashion topics for like-minded mums who want to rediscover themselves after having children. Thanks for stopping by! Read More…

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[ID: Celebrate Your Body book by Sonya Renee Taylor]
Tonight should be our first night on holiday in Sp Tonight should be our first night on holiday in Spain. Made up for it with a meal outside at the village pub and a “late” bedtime (any evening out past 8pm is late for us!). Devon is heaven ❤️ #mumlife
ALL children have the right to feel good about the ALL children have the right to feel good about themselves and their body - not just the ones who “look healthy”. Children are being taught at a younger and younger age that their body is a problem that needs to be fixed. 
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The current climate of intense body shaming disguised as health concern is creating policies which actively damage the relationship children have with their bodies. There is a huge amount of evidence showing that the better kids feel about their body, the more likely they are to make choices that make their body feel good - like taking part in movement or eating in a happy, intuitive way. 
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Making health all about weight not only damages kids’ body image, making them either feel like their body is “wrong” or fear it becoming “wrong”, it also gives a free pass to the diet industry to aggressively market their products at children, under the guise of health. Ironically, encouraging kids to engage in dieting and habits which are actively bad for their health. This culture affects ALL children.
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And of course this version of health, and this focus on making kids’ bodies the problem, lets the politicians off the hook. Easier to put the nation on a diet instead of investing in policies which will reduce inequality and give everyone access to the things needed to live a full and healthy life.
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There is a silver lining though, because we can choose to be part of the solution. We can say no to diet culture at home and challenge it when it pops up in the spaces kids should be safest.
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If you’re a teacher our Body Happy Kids workshop is an intro to this subject with tools for creating body happy spaces for the children in your care. Find out more and sign up via my bio. ❤️ #BodyHappyKids
To lift the mood after the last week, here’s a t To lift the mood after the last week, here’s a throwback to this time last year when I roped my husband into filming me for an alternative Love Island title sequence. Out of shot: a packed beach full of people confused why a woman is doing multiple bikini changes under a towel and instructing her husband on different camera angles while her bemused children look on 😂. The video was an alternative title sequence for if Love Island was filmed in Devon and featured a mum the “wrong” side of 35 and the “wrong” side of a size 10. 🔥 HAPPY BLOODY FRIDAY you lovely lot 🥂🥂🥂 #BodyHappyMum #MumsGoneWild
[Stat from @themilitantbaker’s brilliant TED Tal [Stat from @themilitantbaker’s brilliant TED Talk] 
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Poor body image and weight stigma are serious public health issues. These are complex, far reaching issues that impact us on an individual and societal level in many ways. This thread isn’t to say that each of these things alone accounts for the fact kids as young as three are feeling bad about their body, but combined, they create an environment that makes it really tough for children (and adults) to like their body just as it is, regardless of what it looks like.
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If you care about health you need to be aware that weight stigma kills and poor body image has serious health implications. Want kids to eat more nutrient dense food and move their body? Stop shaming them and teaching them their body is wrong, because research shows body hate is NOT a long term motivator for treating a body with care or respect. 
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And then realise that even when kids ARE eating more nutrient dense food and moving more this will not guarantee their body will shrink. And this doesn’t mean they are unhealthy, despite what the headlines might tell you.
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Kids’ bodies don’t need “fixing”. Society needs fixing. Give every child access to good food and safe spaces to move and play. Eradicate inequality and discrimination, challenge stigmatising language. Raise awareness in the mainstream media of what many health professionals already know: health is complex, multi-faceted and is hugely impacted by socio-economic conditions. Saying it’s all down to “personal responsibility” lets the politicians off the hook. 
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Maybe then, as a nation, we can have a fair crack at good health. Until then I’d argue it’s not about health at all, it’s about money. 
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In an alternate universe I’d be packing for a ho In an alternate universe I’d be packing for a holiday to Cantabria in Spain right now. Yet here we are. This summer is brought to us by Argos (paddling pool) and Monki (cozzie). FYI I’m still bikini all the way, but prefer a cozzie for when I get serious doing lengths at the pool 🏊‍♀️🏊‍♀️🏊‍♀️ #bodyhappymum
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