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You are here: Home / MOTHERHOOD / 41 thoughts every parent has when supermarket shopping with a toddler

41 thoughts every parent has when supermarket shopping with a toddler

September 28, 2017 by Molly 1 Comment

Don’t you just love supermarket shopping with a toddler? There is no joy deeper than entering the hallowed turf of Tesco et al with a tiny person in tow. It makes me feel truly blessed as a parent and is a real highlight of my week.

HA.

41 thoughts I had today while doing the supermarket shop with my toddler:

  1. OK, let’s get this over with.
  2. Here’s a lovely big trolley with a seat in it. This’ll keep her safely contained.
  3. No, you can’t push the trolley.
  4. Please don’t have a tantrum in the entrance to Sainsbury’s. OK, OK you can push the damn trolley.
  5. But not into that elderly lady.
  6. And not into that man either.
  7. Actually, I’ll push the trolley.
  8. Is this over yet?
  9. Right, veg, veg veg. What veg will she eat? Broccoli? Let’s turn this into a game! Can you find the broccoli? Where’s the broccoli?
  10. Check me out, Super Mum right here. Got a toddler who eats broccoli AND a winning game to keep her occupied round the supermarket. Everyone wants to be me. I could write a parenting book I’m so good.
  11. No we don’t say “Broccoli smells like pooh”. No we don’t chuck it on the floor. NO YOU CAN’T PUSH THE BLOODY TROLLEY.
  12. Maybe not a parenting book then.
  13. I could write a book about how much I hate shopping with a two year old though.
  14. That would be a LONG book.
  15. Chapter one: supermarkets hate parents. It’s so obvious. The way they move their stock around so we can’t find anything and have to run up and down the aisles. It’s like they want to prolong the pain.
  16. OK, where was I? Veg. Carrots? Shall I chance it? Yes I’ll get creative with some carrots. Cut them up into a bunny face or something. No the carrot doesn’t smell like pooh! It’s yummy! Yummy, yummy carrot. Oh why do I bother?
  17. Onto the dairy. Cheese. No you can’t have cheese right now. Because it’s to go in the trolley. WATCH THE OLD LADY! OK I’m taking over the trolley pushing.
  18. Oh shit I forgot the bananas. Back we go.
  19. How is a person supposed to think when in control of a toddler with trolley road rage? I can barely read my list, let alone work out where everything is.
  20. Why the hell didn’t we just do an online shop?
  21. I hate my husband right now.
  22. I can’t believe he’s not here experiencing this pain himself.
  23. This is all his fault. It’s totally his fault. Even though it’s got nothing to do with him and he’s minding his own business at work it’s his fault. I am so cross with him right now.
  24. Suck it up. It’s just one shop and one toddler. Where are we now? Cereal. Brilliant. We’re on the home stretch.
  25. Crap, the biscuit aisle. Sing a song to distract her! What’s wrong with you? Why can you only think to sing Despacito when under pressure?
  26. Ah the wine aisle. My favourite. I’ll just have a little look. No, don’t take the wine off the shelf. No, leave it there. No, don’t use the trolley as a battering ram for the beer bottles. No no no no no.
  27. I hate my life.
  28. I hate this supermarket.
  29. Right, the till. What? You want to get IN the trolley now? Couldn’t you have done that an hour ago?! Typical.
  30. Ah yes you’re right, my toddler is SO cute and SUCH a good girl helping mummy. I just love it when she helps mummy put all the shopping on the conveyer belt. Yes you’re right, it’s so hilarious when she tries to get on it herself too. HA HA HA HA. Just keep the fixed grin on and no one will know you’re dying inside.
  31. At what point is it acceptable to open that bottle of wine after we get home?
  32. Oh but look, she is being very cute. Oh go on then, just one quick photo. What shall I caption it with when I put it on Facebook? “Mummy’s little helper” or “Feeling so blessed right now”? Hmmmm….
  33. Oh crap. No darling don’t put the bread at the bottom of the bag with all the baked beans on top! It’s OK! Mummy’s got it!
  34. Right, we’re nearly there. Just need to do some tactical distraction to get past the flashing toy car ride expertly positioned by the exit in order to tip stressed parents over the edge.
  35. YOU GO GIRL. You are SO good at this mum thing. Not one single tantrum past the flashing car that costs a million pounds a go. SCREW YOU MR SUPERMARKET MANAGER. You didn’t break me this time!
  36. OK, so the car’s right over…
  37. OH MY GOD MY CAR’S BEEN STOLEN.
  38. Who shall I call? The police? The supermarket manager? This is karma. I’m sorry Mr Supermarket manager! I don’t hate you really!
  39. Oh. Yeah. So I just parked it in a different place. No sweat. Totally styled that out. Don’t think anyone noticed my mini meltdown. Totally fine.
  40. Into the car. Please please please let there be no car seat tantrum today.
  41. And we’re done. Never ever ever again. Ever. Until next week when we inevitably run out of food and forget to do an online shop.

Filed Under: Kids, MOTHERHOOD Tagged With: funny toddlers, life with a toddler, mum life, Parenting, real mum life, toddlers

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Comments

  1. Grandma from the north says

    September 28, 2017 at 9:47 pm

    So funny and real! Number 42. Online is nowhere near as much fun! Well done you for capturing supermarket stremght test . Ypu passed !!

    Reply

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Hello and welcome! I'm Molly Forbes - podcaster, presenter and blogger with a passion for positivity, confidence and body image chat. Regularly writing and vlogging about empowering female issues from a motherhood angle, I also cover lifestyle and fashion topics for like-minded mums who want to rediscover themselves after having children. Thanks for stopping by! Read More…

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If you feel bad about your body you’re less like If you feel bad about your body you’re less likely to do nice things for it, including moving in a way that feels good and eating in a way that feels good. (FYI health is about more than just exercise and nutrition, but let’s get deeper into the exercise thing for a second...)
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Research shows kids who have low body image are less likely to get involved with sports and more likely to skip PE. 
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Want kids to move more? Stop teaching them that one type of body is better than another - because if their body doesn’t look like your version of a healthy / beautiful / successful body not only will they be more likely to feel shame over their body, they’ll be less likely to engage with the very behaviours you want them to do more of (or be more likely to engage with them in an UNhealthy way - compulsive exercise is dangerous).
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Instead:
💕Try talking about the intrinsic benefits of exercise over the extrinsic ones (ie. how it makes you FEEL instead of how it makes you LOOK).
✨Create opportunities for movement where ALL children feel welcome. 
💕Show children diverse representation so they can see sporting heroes with a range of body types and know that movement is for EVERYbody. 
✨Take a zero tolerance approach to appearance based bullying, body shaming and comments that perpetuate weight stigma (including even the hint that fat = bad). 
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(If you’re a teacher or youth leader interested in knowing more about this topic, a #BodyHappyKids workshop will help - follow the link in my bio 🥰❤️)
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[Image description: A multicoloured slide with an overlaid screenshot of tweet by Molly which reads ‘If your intention is to “get kids healthy” then you need to be aware of how weight bias, weight stigma and poor body image are active barriers to health. The end.]
Sharing this outfit pic with you because it’s a Sharing this outfit pic with you because it’s a crying shame only the piles of laundry got to see it, quite frankly. Finally, a pair of pre-loved jeans bought online that are true to size, consistent with the rest of the brand’s sizing and actually fit! 🎉 
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PS heads up - I’ll be doing a Q&A about body image and kids in my Stories on Friday. The Q sticker is up in my Stories now if you’d like to submit a Q! 💕 #BodyHappyKids
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[Image description: Molly is standing in front of the mirror looking very pleased with the fact her new jeans bought from Depop fit her. She is wearing pink patterned jeans with cherubs on them, a pink check jumper and pink trainers. There are piles of laundry on the bed behind her.]
Another photo of us on a walk, because it’s been Another photo of us on a walk, because it’s been our main form of entertainment this year. Anyone else? 
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I honestly now get excited about putting my boots on and being outdoors, even in the rain. I’m going to start hugging trees next and going on wild camping weekends that involve doing a poo behind a tree and making my own fire. Joke.... maybe. 
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Just another reminder that all movement is valid, exercise doesn’t need to have to be about burning calories or even tracking steps in order for it to be “worth it”. Hope everyone’s had a great weekend ❤️
#BodyHappyMum #JoyfulMovement
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Image description: Molly and her two daughters stand on a bridge in the countryside. They are all wearing hiking boots and outdoor clothes and smiling.
My body is good and excellent and my body only bel My body is good and excellent and my body only belongs to me ✨ (Words by Effie May, age 6 💕) #BodyHappyMum
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Image description: A close up of Molly’s bare skin as she hugs herself. It’s dark and part of her body is illuminated by light. She has her eyes closed and is smiling.
“Mummy I wrote a letter to myself,” she said. “Mummy I wrote a letter to myself,” she said. And my heart swelled. Maybe I’m doing an OK job after all 🤞❤️💕 #BodyHappyKids 
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I could leave this caption here but I need to make something clear: if you think it’s great that my daughter - a thin, white, nondisabled, cisgender kid - feels good in her body but you’re not here for the self-love of any kid who doesn’t look like her.... then you’ve missed the point.
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ALL bodies are good bodies, and without this important piece of the puzzle ALL children will be at risk of doubting their body. And what happens when they doubt their body? Well... hating our body doesn’t make us treat it with love, and the same is true of kids. 
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Great, now we’ve cleared that up, can we take a moment to appreciate the incredible phonetic spelling on show here?! 
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Image description: Effie, age 6, stands against a white wardrobe holding up a letter she has written to herself. It is spelled phonetically and reads “My body is good and excellent and my body only belongs to me.”
I used to struggle to buy stuff for myself if I ha I used to struggle to buy stuff for myself if I had any spare cash - not just treats, but basics like pants and tights that fit properly. I’d tell myself I didn’t need it, didn’t deserve it, couldn’t justify the expense. There’s still that little voice (the habit of putting everyone else’s needs first and my own last dies hard it seems) but I’m leaning into exploring why it still sometimes rears its head, instead of always listening to it. 
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I’m trying to buy as much as I can from pre-loved places or small businesses these days, which is why I’m very happy to share with you some of my latest finds: a star dress from Depop (£5), earrings from @kelzojewellery by @ourtransitionallife (£12) and the comfiest tights I’ve ever owned in Raspberry Pie by @snagtights (£6.99) 💕💕💕
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Have you found any great small brands lately? Shout them out in the comments so we can all support in the run up to Christmas. ⬇️⚡️
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Image description: Molly is smiling and sticking out her tongue to the camera. Her hair is freshly dyed a light shade of pink. She’s wearing a pink t’shirt underneath a black and white star patterned slip dress, with bright pink tights and black and pink earrings decorated with a boob design.
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