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You are here: Home / MOTHERHOOD / Dear Effie, on your 3rd birthday

Dear Effie, on your 3rd birthday

October 6, 2017 by Molly 2 Comments

Dear Effie / Moo-Moos / Former Baby Girl / Household Dictator,

Today you are three. Happy birthday you feisty, funny, frigging-challenging, GORGEOUS bundle of whirlwind girl. I love you. So hard. But that goes without saying.

It’s a bit of a weird blogging tradition to write a letter to your kid on their birthday, but your mother is a blogger and that’s how things work in this world of mine. It’s why you probably think I only have a camera as a body part on the end of one of my limbs, but I hope that when you’re grown and able to read this back you’ll do so with fond memories of me cataloguing our adventures and the daily routines of your life as a little person.

You arrived like a flash of lightning into the water in a birthing pool in a dimly lit room in the birthing centre of Royal Devon and Exeter hospital. Your birth was a quick, calm and surprising one. I was surprised by your speedy entry into the world and your dad was surprised by my lack of screaming. It was probably the quietest, most serene episode of your whole little life to date. Everything since then has been loud, hectic and never, ever boring.

Like a tattoo, you marked your place in our family with a permanence that had us all quickly forgetting what life was like before you existed. Even as a tiny bean of gangly limbs and rooting, gummy mouths you stamped your soul into our hearts and every corner of the house with a roaring finality. Like a hurricane, you turned us upside down. We couldn’t have been happier. (Although we were also very tired.)

At three your favourite things are: anything your sister has, anything you’re not allowed to have, anything that will wind any member of the family up. You also love all the predictable three year old things from Peppa Pig to peanut butter, cutting things out to crayoning on the carpet.

Bravery is a trait you wear with pride. It’s a point of honour for you, in fact. You never admit to being scared of anything, even if you’re secretly terrified. From swimming pools you dive into head-first to high surfaces you scale with a Spider Man-like ease you are fearless. A future stunt-double perhaps, or spy, or world leader. Whatever you decide to be I have no doubt you’ll jump in head-first, with a grin and not one single look back.

Your enthusiasm for life is exhausting at times, but I never want you to lose it. We might sometimes struggle to be carried along with your instant need to wear shorts on a freezing day, or a hoodie on a boiling hot one, or your determination to take your dolly’s buggy everywhere we go, or your interest in practising Parkour inside the house, but that doesn’t mean we don’t appreciate it. Life with you is a constant adventure – and not just an adventure in patience.

Freya was telling me this morning that she can’t wait to see your face when you open your birthday presents. Your excitement to turn “THREEEEEE!” is infectious. She loves you with a fierce, big sister protective glow, even when you’re trying to steal her favourite Jo-Jo bow.

We love you so much you funny girl. Thank you for being you.

Love Mummy, Daddy & Freya

(But please can we not start your birthday at 4am like last year?)

 

xxxx

Filed Under: Kids, MOTHERHOOD Tagged With: 3rd birthday, happy birthday, kids birthdays, Parenting, three year olds, three years old

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Comments

  1. Ma says

    October 6, 2017 at 9:15 pm

    Happy Birthday precious girl. You keep us all on our toes. Love marmar x

    Reply
    • Molly says

      October 9, 2017 at 8:58 pm

      Ah thanks Mum! xx

      Reply

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Hello and welcome! I'm Molly Forbes - podcaster, presenter and blogger with a passion for positivity, confidence and body image chat. Regularly writing and vlogging about empowering female issues from a motherhood angle, I also cover lifestyle and fashion topics for like-minded mums who want to rediscover themselves after having children. Thanks for stopping by! Read More…

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If you feel bad about your body you’re less like If you feel bad about your body you’re less likely to do nice things for it, including moving in a way that feels good and eating in a way that feels good. (FYI health is about more than just exercise and nutrition, but let’s get deeper into the exercise thing for a second...)
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Research shows kids who have low body image are less likely to get involved with sports and more likely to skip PE. 
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Want kids to move more? Stop teaching them that one type of body is better than another - because if their body doesn’t look like your version of a healthy / beautiful / successful body not only will they be more likely to feel shame over their body, they’ll be less likely to engage with the very behaviours you want them to do more of (or be more likely to engage with them in an UNhealthy way - compulsive exercise is dangerous).
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Instead:
💕Try talking about the intrinsic benefits of exercise over the extrinsic ones (ie. how it makes you FEEL instead of how it makes you LOOK).
✨Create opportunities for movement where ALL children feel welcome. 
💕Show children diverse representation so they can see sporting heroes with a range of body types and know that movement is for EVERYbody. 
✨Take a zero tolerance approach to appearance based bullying, body shaming and comments that perpetuate weight stigma (including even the hint that fat = bad). 
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(If you’re a teacher or youth leader interested in knowing more about this topic, a #BodyHappyKids workshop will help - follow the link in my bio 🥰❤️)
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[Image description: A multicoloured slide with an overlaid screenshot of tweet by Molly which reads ‘If your intention is to “get kids healthy” then you need to be aware of how weight bias, weight stigma and poor body image are active barriers to health. The end.]
Sharing this outfit pic with you because it’s a Sharing this outfit pic with you because it’s a crying shame only the piles of laundry got to see it, quite frankly. Finally, a pair of pre-loved jeans bought online that are true to size, consistent with the rest of the brand’s sizing and actually fit! 🎉 
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PS heads up - I’ll be doing a Q&A about body image and kids in my Stories on Friday. The Q sticker is up in my Stories now if you’d like to submit a Q! 💕 #BodyHappyKids
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[Image description: Molly is standing in front of the mirror looking very pleased with the fact her new jeans bought from Depop fit her. She is wearing pink patterned jeans with cherubs on them, a pink check jumper and pink trainers. There are piles of laundry on the bed behind her.]
Another photo of us on a walk, because it’s been Another photo of us on a walk, because it’s been our main form of entertainment this year. Anyone else? 
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I honestly now get excited about putting my boots on and being outdoors, even in the rain. I’m going to start hugging trees next and going on wild camping weekends that involve doing a poo behind a tree and making my own fire. Joke.... maybe. 
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Just another reminder that all movement is valid, exercise doesn’t need to have to be about burning calories or even tracking steps in order for it to be “worth it”. Hope everyone’s had a great weekend ❤️
#BodyHappyMum #JoyfulMovement
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Image description: Molly and her two daughters stand on a bridge in the countryside. They are all wearing hiking boots and outdoor clothes and smiling.
My body is good and excellent and my body only bel My body is good and excellent and my body only belongs to me ✨ (Words by Effie May, age 6 💕) #BodyHappyMum
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Image description: A close up of Molly’s bare skin as she hugs herself. It’s dark and part of her body is illuminated by light. She has her eyes closed and is smiling.
“Mummy I wrote a letter to myself,” she said. “Mummy I wrote a letter to myself,” she said. And my heart swelled. Maybe I’m doing an OK job after all 🤞❤️💕 #BodyHappyKids 
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I could leave this caption here but I need to make something clear: if you think it’s great that my daughter - a thin, white, nondisabled, cisgender kid - feels good in her body but you’re not here for the self-love of any kid who doesn’t look like her.... then you’ve missed the point.
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ALL bodies are good bodies, and without this important piece of the puzzle ALL children will be at risk of doubting their body. And what happens when they doubt their body? Well... hating our body doesn’t make us treat it with love, and the same is true of kids. 
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Great, now we’ve cleared that up, can we take a moment to appreciate the incredible phonetic spelling on show here?! 
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Image description: Effie, age 6, stands against a white wardrobe holding up a letter she has written to herself. It is spelled phonetically and reads “My body is good and excellent and my body only belongs to me.”
I used to struggle to buy stuff for myself if I ha I used to struggle to buy stuff for myself if I had any spare cash - not just treats, but basics like pants and tights that fit properly. I’d tell myself I didn’t need it, didn’t deserve it, couldn’t justify the expense. There’s still that little voice (the habit of putting everyone else’s needs first and my own last dies hard it seems) but I’m leaning into exploring why it still sometimes rears its head, instead of always listening to it. 
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I’m trying to buy as much as I can from pre-loved places or small businesses these days, which is why I’m very happy to share with you some of my latest finds: a star dress from Depop (£5), earrings from @kelzojewellery by @ourtransitionallife (£12) and the comfiest tights I’ve ever owned in Raspberry Pie by @snagtights (£6.99) 💕💕💕
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Have you found any great small brands lately? Shout them out in the comments so we can all support in the run up to Christmas. ⬇️⚡️
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Image description: Molly is smiling and sticking out her tongue to the camera. Her hair is freshly dyed a light shade of pink. She’s wearing a pink t’shirt underneath a black and white star patterned slip dress, with bright pink tights and black and pink earrings decorated with a boob design.
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