• SELF LOVE & BODY IMAGE
  • MOTHERHOOD
    • Pregnancy
    • Babies
    • Kids
  • ADVENTURE
  • STYLE
    • Interiors
    • Fashion
    • Beauty
  • FOOD

Mother's Always Right

Mum life, body image, style

  • ABOUT
  • PRESS
  • Podcast
  • Public Speaking
  • YOUTUBE
  • WORK WITH ME
  • #FreeFromDiets campaign
You are here: Home / SELF LOVE & BODY IMAGE / Why I’m not doing the post-holiday diet

Why I’m not doing the post-holiday diet

September 12, 2018 by Molly 2 Comments

Have you noticed how big events in life are often bookmarked by diets? Weddings, holidays, Christmas… In the run-up to the event and then afterwards, it’s all about the diet.

I was not immune to the diet trend. Before my wedding day I dieted and worked out like a fiend, terrified a few extra pounds might spoil my day. And in the past, before and after every holiday I would “watch what I ate” too. As if being 5 pounds heavier might somehow ruin the experience of lying on a sun-lounger with a book in one hand and a cocktail in the other.

This year there was no pre-holiday diet, and there’ll be no post-holiday diet either. In truth, I have no idea what I weigh, because I now know that fixating on the number on the scales is not a healthy thing for my mind to do. My body is as it is and any extra jiggle is proof of what a fantastic time we had while we were away. I won’t let any guilt sour the taste of all that amazing French cheese and wine. 

When I’ve talked about ditching the diet (both IRL and online – the talking I mean, not the diet) I’ve sometimes been met with a bit of a defensive response, as if me choosing to stop following diets is a judgement on someone else’s behaviour.

Sometimes it’s a “Oh but I love healthy eating!” response. But the thing is, dieting is not “healthy eating” and “healthy eating” is not dieting. You can love salad and chow down on the veggies and enjoy all the fresh fish and protein without having to ban whole food groups and see carbs as evil. Eating doesn’t have to be an all or nothing thing.

The other thing to note with any type of diet is that, ultimately, it’s big business. People selling us diets and “aspirational body shapes” are there to make money. They’re quite literally profiting from our insecurities. And I don’t know about you, but I’d rather spend my cash on cushions or outfits or cool experiences or self-help books that actually make me feel GOOD and POSITIVE instead of a failure. (Or cheese, I really like cheese.)

Then there’s the science. There’s evidence that diets are not the answer to long-term weight loss and that they can actually have a negative effect on mental health, which is just as important as physical health. (The Anti Diet Riot Club is a really great place to read more about the danger of diet culture, if you’re interested in this.)

I know there’ll be people reading this who’ll roll their eyes and think “But she doesn’t need to lose weight, what does she even know about diets”. But tell that to the me of two or three years ago. No matter what my body looked like post-baby number 2 I would always find something to hate about it. Insecurities related to body image can affect people of all shapes and sizes.

Then we get to the Piers Morgan attitude. The “you’re promoting obesity and an unhealthy lifestyle” approach. Giving up dieting does not mean advocating a Morgan Spurlock approach, eating fast-food at every meal. It just means eating without the restrictions of counting calories, thinking about how the food will make you look and unpicking the guilt from our relationship with food. Considering one diet company literally refers to certain types of foods as “Syns” as if they were made by the devil himself, I think it’s fair to say diet culture doesn’t always do the best things when it comes to guilt and food and mental health.

Of course you might read this and feel angry. You might see my approach to my own body as a judgement on your approach to yours. You might be following a diet and enjoying it and feeling happy, and I do not want to take away any positive feelings you might have on that score. It’s YOUR body and you get to choose what you do with it – I am not about telling you what to do or how to feel.

But for so many years we’ve been told that we all need to diet, that we are all not quite enough as we are, that if we all lose “a few pounds” before a big event or holiday that we will all feel so much happier. I’m so tired of this attitude. The idea that we are only allowed to love ourselves once we reach a goal weight, or look a certain way. It’s restrictive and, ultimately, does no one any favours – particularly those of us trying to raise the next generation of humans who we know are worth so much more than their body shape or appearance.

So that’s why I’m not doing a post-holiday diet.

P.S. While you’re here, if you’re interested to see more of our holiday I’ve uploaded a couple of videos from our time in France. This is the latest one – you can see the other by heading over to my YouTube channel.

Filed Under: SELF LOVE & BODY IMAGE Tagged With: body confidence, body image, diet culture, diets, intuitive eating, mum bod

« Eating well, loving our bodies and embracing organic for September
Facing our fears at Go Ape »

Comments

  1. Nyomi says

    September 13, 2018 at 10:29 am

    Hear hear Molly! I’m so pleased you’ve found peace with your body.

    Reply
    • Molly says

      September 24, 2018 at 9:12 am

      xxx

      Reply

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Hello and welcome! I'm Molly Forbes - podcaster, presenter and blogger with a passion for positivity, confidence and body image chat. Regularly writing and vlogging about empowering female issues from a motherhood angle, I also cover lifestyle and fashion topics for like-minded mums who want to rediscover themselves after having children. Thanks for stopping by! Read More…

  • Bloglovin
  • Facebook
  • Google+
  • Instagram
  • Pinterest
  • RSS
  • Twitter

YOUTUBE

INSTAGRAM

Dear PE teachers (and everyone), don’t do this 💔
.
If you’re a PE teacher and you’re interested in engaging more kids in class then lose the diet culture and body shaming messaging - even if it’s meant in jest. Research shows kids who feel comfortable in their body are more likely to take part in sports, and movement is for ALL bodies, not just the kids with super athletic toned ones. 
.
Want more insight and help with this stuff? Sign up to a Body Happy Kids workshop - we’ve got you. Oh, and read Train Happy by @tallyrye in the meantime.
.
And parents - if your kids experience this type of messaging in their school setting absolutely challenge it. We’ve got a template letter on the #FreeFromDiets website you can tweak and a downloadable info pack about the workshops you can send to your school if you’d like them to sign up. Just hit the Workshops link in my bio and scroll down towards the bottom of the page.
.
Creating a body happy setting can: 
⚡️increase engagement in class 
⚡️increase engagement in movement 
⚡️increase academic attainment 
⚡️increase happiness, confidence and overall wellbeing
⚡️help kids be more likely to engage in health promoting behaviours 
(And that’s just for starters).
.
PS. I’m not coming for teachers - my husband is one. BUT research shows weight bias is often more common in PE teachers than other subject areas so this is a conversation worth having. 
#BodyHappyKids
I turn 37 in three weeks. When I was younger I use I turn 37 in three weeks. When I was younger I used to think 37 was old. It was “grown-up”, boring, over-the-hill. 
.
By the time you were 37 you had your life figured out, wore sensible clothes and had waved goodbye to the fun stuff. 
.
It’s no surprise I thought that really. Women aged 37 and over - particularly mums - were invisible. The only representations of older women on screen were the matriarchs. Ad campaigns and magazines featured young women in their “prime” (side note: 🤮 hate that phrase - what does “prime” even mean? We’re not cuts of meat. “Prime” baby making age? Is making babies all we’re good for?!)
.
There was no space for any other version of women over 35. Women over 35 weren’t playful, fun, adventurous, sexual, curious. Women over 35 were Responsible, Sensible, Dutiful.
.
Well that’s not what 37 is going to look like for me. Sure I do school runs and meet deadlines and wash smelly socks. But I also play and dance and adventure and enjoy my body. I feel like I’m just getting going to be honest. 
.
37 is going to be a big year. I’m excited. I’m ready. And I’m certainly not invisible. Bring it on.
.
#BirthdayCountdown #MumsGoneWild
Every year @GirlGuiding publishes something called Every year @GirlGuiding publishes something called the Girls’ Attitudes Survey. It’s a big piece of research into the thoughts and feelings of the girls in their community and gives an insight into some of the things that are important to girls and young women in the UK today. 
.
The early findings of the 2020 survey have been released and the headline is (surprise, surprise) girls feel under intense pressure to look a certain way and it’s damaging their confidence and wellbeing. 
. 
Here are some of the stats:
.
⚡️80% of girls and young women have considered changing how they look. 
.
⚡️51% of girls aged 7-10 believe women are judged more on what they look like than what they can do (this figure is up from 35% in 2016).
.
There’s also the finding that two thirds of girls support legislation to stop them seeing ads for diet products and weight loss clubs. 
.
It makes for pretty devastating reading but is worth looking at, particularly if you have a daughter - I’ll link to the early findings in my Stories and the full report will be out next month.
.
These girls are telling us not only do they feel this intense pressure to look a certain way, but that it’s causing them pain. They are telling us they don’t want the pressure, the ads, the constant barrage of negativity making them feel insecure about their appearance and their body. It’s costing them their wellbeing, confidence and health. 
.
It’s time to listen.
.
Sign the #FreeFromDiets petition. Tell your kids’ school about the Body Happy Kids Workshop for teachers. Call out diet culture when you see it (particularly when it comes for your kids). There are more resources in my bio as well as a post on media literacy further down my grid too. It doesn’t have to be this way. 💕✨ #BodyHappyKids
My babies started Year 1 & Year 6 today and as I w My babies started Year 1 & Year 6 today and as I waved them off to school after months of being home, it got me thinking about how my relationship with their first home has changed: my body. ❤️
.
I have thin privilege but I’ve still often felt like my body was “wrong”. Why? Because like many of us I live in a society that taught me to fear fatness and idolise thinness from an early age. 
.
Internalised fatphobia ran so deep that even after my body performed its most miraculous feat of my life - growing and birthing a human - I feared the softness of my belly.
.
I justified the internalised fat phobia by telling myself it was about health, believing that health was a simplified concept I could control and monitor by a number on the scales. 
.
And even when I started to suspect diets weren’t healthy I still failed to recognise the total system of oppression that diet culture is, how it harms so very many people including children, how it creates a culture where discriminating against people over their weight is seen as acceptable under the guise of health concern.
.
I believe we will never end body-based oppression until we do the internal work too, rejecting diet culture & internalised fat phobia. Then we can challenge the health “facts” we’re sold by a multi billion £ industry, and investigate why we’re so ready to accept government diet culture infused health policy when we’re quick to question other policies.
.
It starts with us showing body acceptance to our children, teaching them ALL bodies are good bodies, giving them the tools to question anyone who says otherwise. 
.
This is not just about raising children at peace in their body. It’s about raising children who grow to challenge a system that harms us all, but particularly those in marginalised bodies. 
.
For me, it started with exploring my feelings about my babies’ first home. ❤️
A little story about 🩸periods🩸 and intuitive A little story about 🩸periods🩸 and intuitive movement and diet culture - here’s the headline: DIET CULTURE MESSES UP OUR RELATIONSHIP WITH OUR BODY AND THIS HARM RUNS DEEP.
.
Let me explain. 
.
This was me last week. We hiked up a hill and when we got to the top the sky turned a murky shade of grey. Within seconds we were being pelted by hail and rain. It was GLORIOUS. I felt ALIVE.
.
Not so this week. Because this week I got my period. And instead of relaxing into it, being gentle with myself, I battled it. I got frustrated with myself when exhaustion hit and my brain felt soupy. I tried to dig deep to find my spark, my energy, I felt guilt at missing swim sessions I’d booked. 
.
Why? Because diet culture runs deep. I examined it and realised I was feeling guilt at what I’d told myself I “should” be doing, rather than what my body *actually* needed. “No one regrets a workout! It’ll pep you up! Energise you!” Said the voice. But my body was bleeding and I was tired to my bones. I didn’t feel like it. And I felt like I was letting some invisible person down. 
.
Last night I gave myself permission to be gentle. Cancelled all my swim sessions for a couple of days. Had a bath and put on my comfiest PJs. Turned off my laptop and phone, watched a film and had an early night. It’s what my body needed, and once I actually listened to it I felt so much better. 
.
Embracing the seasons of my cycle and going with my natural energy levels is how I’m reclaiming my relationship with my body, I’ve decided. For me, this is the last internal bastion of rebellion against diet culture. And it’s (literally) bloody liberating 🩸⚡️💥
.
.
.
#BodyHappyMum #JoyfulMovement #DevonIsHeaven #PeriodPower #WeBleed
No child comes fresh out the womb doubting their b No child comes fresh out the womb doubting their body. But, little by little, the messages come.
.
Some of the messages may be from what they see online on TV and in magazines. Some of them may even come from the people who love and care for them - their friends, parents, grandparents, teachers and even doctors. Some of the messages are blatant and some are more insidious.
.
It’s not hopeless though. Here are some things you can do, right now:
✨ Speak to yourself with kindness or use neutral language about your own body in front of your kids.
.
✨Call out the messages when you see them - point them out and talk about what they’re promoting, and show your kids the other perspective. This is called media literacy and I’ve got a post further down my grid with lots more info on this.
.
✨ Teach your kids that beauty and health don’t just look one way, and that regardless of the outside shell of our body all humans deserve respect, empathy and love - and that includes self-love. (Some mantras that I use with my kids to help drive this message home - ALL bodies are GOOD bodies 💕 It’s not your job to be pretty 💕 Your body is YOUR OWN.)
.
✨ Seek out wider representation, whether that’s through books, social media accounts, positive TV shows and films, it all matters.
.
✨ Set clear boundaries - if you have a family member or friend who constantly discusses diets, body shames themselves or makes comments about other people’s bodies (and maybe even your child’s) have a conversation with them about why this isn’t OK. Explain that little ears are always listening and you’re working hard to raise your kids to have a happy, healthy relationship with their body. 
.
For more resources on this check out the links in my bio ❤️
#BodyHappyKids
.
.
[📸 My one day old daughter’s foot in my hand, taken in 2010, by @carolinepalmerphoto]
Follow on Instagram

Copyright © 2020 · Mothers Always Right. Design by Stacey Corrin

This site uses cookies: Find out more.