1. It is fully possible to feel intense joy, panic, nerves, elation and exhaustion all at once.
2. You can survive on two hours sleep – and consider four hours in a row a complete luxury.
3. You will find reserves of patience you never knew you had.
4. Even if you’ve never been a particularly sentimental or emotional person you’ll find it difficult not to sob over programmes about baby animals, TV ads from kids’ charities and soppy “And Finally” stories on the news.
5. Going out in public with unbrushed hair and a top you’ve worn for four days in a row is no longer a big deal.
6. You really like toast and anything else you can eat using only one hand.
7. No matter how tactile you are, there comes a moment when you will need five minutes to yourself, without anyone touching you or wanting to be cuddled.
8. Even if you were formerly a night owl, 3am is not as much fun when you’re not stumbling home from a nightclub clutching a bag of chips.
9. You may be cheery, patient and kind but on three hours of unbroken sleep you turn into a ragey, snappy monster.
10. You find it possible to feel guilt over the tiniest things.
11. No matter how many times you vowed not to become a baby bore, you just can’t help taking photos of your cute baby.
12. You can reach new heights of productivity in a tiny amount of time. (One hour to clean the house, do all the washing, answer some emails, have a quick nap? No problem.)
13. It’s totally possible to feel jealous of a complete stranger in the supermarket, especially if that stranger has perfectly pressed jeans, three sleeping toddlers and a fresh face of make-up.
14. You can still love someone, even after they’ve done a poo on your hair and woken you for the day at 4.30am.
15. You have the ability to judge complete strangers, even though you try not to.
16. You’re a sucker for a baby product, even though you vowed not to be one of *those* parents pre-kids.
17. You may be shy, unconfrontational and a people-pleaser, but if needed you will spring to the defense of your child and family with the ferocity of a lioness.
18. Your body is capable of things you didn’t think possible.
19. You are stronger than you think.
Tell me, what did you learn about yourself when you had a baby?