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You are here: Home / MOTHERHOOD / A weird breastfeeding hangover

A weird breastfeeding hangover

January 26, 2018 by Molly Leave a Comment

I mentioned in my last post that for the first time in a long time my ovaries don’t do that familiar lurch when I see a newborn. This is probably largely because, at the moment, I’m feeling incredibly touched out. When I’m with my three year old there aren’t many moments when she isn’t touching, or asking to touch me.

We stopped breastfeeding three months ago but she’s still as obsessed with my boobs as ever. It’s like a weird breastfeeding hangover. She’s not quite ready to give them up completely – still needs to get  her fix somewhere without going cold turkey.

Sometimes it’s cute. And, just like with breastfeeding, sometimes it’s handy. She always wants to climb onto my knee, snuggle in and poke a hand down my top when she’s tired. It’s like her comfort blanket I suppose. It’s useful to be able to give her that instant relief, especially if she’s screaming at the top of her lungs through exhausted tears. 

But sometimes it’s annoying.

I’m woken, without fail, between 4.30am and 6am by her tweaking one of my nipples. She’ll sleepily walk out of her bed and climb into mine, snuggle in beside me and instantly go searching for a boob to pat before she drops off again. Often I’m fast asleep and only become aware she’s there when I can feel her little hand on my chest. It’s not always comfortable, lying there while she sleeps patting a boob, trying not to roll over in case she realises I’ve taken her “comfort blanket” away from her and she wakes up (and wakes up the rest of the house too).

I’ve asked around and it’s very normal, apparently. There are loads of stories of kids using their mum’s boobs as mini comfort blankets. You just need to do one quick Google to see a load of threads on various parenting forums on the subject. Plus, when I asked about it on my Instagram Stories I was inundated with replies from other mums whose kids do the same thing.

And, you know, on the most part I don’t mind. Given the choice of forcing her off me or letting her have that comfort I’ll go with the comfort every time because, in my opinion, it’s one of my jobs as a mum. So this post isn’t to moan or ask for advice how to stop a habit that’s just a phase and will inevitably end at some point. More a post to mark something that is happening All. The. Time at the moment. And to let you know that if it’s happening in your house too, then you’re not alone!

I recently read something describing a mum as a child’s “anchor”. And I guess, in many ways, that’s what I am for Effie. When she’s tired, under the weather or just in need of some reassurance she’ll always seek me out – and seek out her favourite position with one hand down my top. It has a weirdly instant calming effect. But then, I’m the one who, as a kid, used to be calmed by twiddling people’s ears while I sucked my thumb, so it’s clear to see where she gets the strange quirks from.

Now she’s three she’s able to articulate in some sense why she likes it, and how it makes her feel. She told me “I like it Mummy, it makes me feel warm and happy.” Which is kind of lovely, really (even when it gets annoying). And for those who think it’s harbouring unhealthy attachment habits, I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again – Effie is the most outgoing child I know. She’s confident, has never cried when I’ve left her at pre-school and has never really gone through separation anxiety. Make of that what you will.

So while this phase lasts, I’ve decided to embrace it – even if that means occasionally doing so through gritted teeth. After all, it can’t last forever, right?… Right?!

Tell me, do you have a boob-obsessed tot in your house too? Solidarity.

 

Filed Under: Kids, MOTHERHOOD Tagged With: breastfeeding, ending breastfeeding, Parenting, toddler tantrums, toddlers

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Hello and welcome! I'm Molly Forbes - podcaster, presenter and blogger with a passion for positivity, confidence and body image chat. Regularly writing and vlogging about empowering female issues from a motherhood angle, I also cover lifestyle and fashion topics for like-minded mums who want to rediscover themselves after having children. Thanks for stopping by! Read More…

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I am not “bossing” it. Or “slaying”. Or “hustling”. Or “smashing” it. I’m not even juggling or spinning plates or doing any of the other words we use as a glossy, marketable, Instagram friendly way to package up burnout culture, under the guise of “empowering” women (💪🤢). 
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What I have been doing, though, is working too hard. Call a spade a spade. I’ve been working too hard, neglecting my health, my relationships, my life away from my laptop. I cannot be everything to everyone AND work at the level I’ve been working at BECAUSE I AM A HUMAN BEING. And you are too. We are not robots.
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I care deeply about all my work, and things aren’t always this intense, but I wanted to sprinkle some reality into the Gram because I am so over this lie that *any* type of success or achievement doesn’t come at a cost, or involve many failures in the background, or require many other people to help make things happen. 
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I guess what I’m saying is, let’s be real about all that, as well as showing the achievements. I’m bloody proud of my book. And I’m so excited to launch the social enterprise @bodyhappyorg properly next month. But that doesn’t mean it’s easy, and that there isn’t a price. 
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And with that, I’m taking the weekend off. See you on the other side 🥰🥰🥰
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[Image description: Molly sits in her office with her hands covering her mouth. On the back of one hand is written “Not bossing it”. She is wearing a pink boiler suit with a black and white top underneath. She has pink leopard print earrings on and her hair is tied back.]
This was taken at the start of half term, when the This was taken at the start of half term, when the kids were still enthusiastic about going for a walk. 1,705 walks around the same bit of countryside later... not so much 😬 
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If you’re struggling to get your kids motivated to move their body at the moment, go gentle. You’re not alone. Bad weather coupled with boredom coupled with the lure of screens is a heady recipe for lethargy - and that’s just me! 
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Seriously though, remember: all movement is valid. Even if it’s just a ten minute @cosmickids sesh or a little kitchen disco, it all counts. And if it comes from a place of enjoyment and fun, kids (and adults!) are going to be far more likely to want to get involved.
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What joyful movement activities are your kids enjoying right now (if any?!)?
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[Image description: Molly and her two daughters are standing in a field. They’re wearing colourful wellies, holding hands and smiling.]
I founded a social enterprise 😵 . Introducing: I founded a social enterprise 😵
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Introducing: @bodyhappyorg 🎉
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We are a Community Interest Company dedicated to promoting positive body image in children. We help adults help the kids in their care be friends with their bodies 🥰. 
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Through workshops and classes, digital and physical resources (both free and paid) we help parents, carers, teachers, youth leaders - and any adults who are ever around children - create body happy settings for kids to thrive in. 
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We launch officially next month with a beautiful new website and lots of resources which we’ll continually be adding to. In the meantime give us a follow at @bodyhappyorg - we start posting from today and our page has been designed as a free resource on its own! 
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I’m privileged to work alongside an incredible team of people on this. Shout-out to the original dream team @chelseacoxstrategist @amysnellingpt @effinitupfaye @lottie_storey @bodyconfidencecards_db @rachel_hobnobs & @aceandping 💕 LOVE YOU ALL! 💕
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[Image description: A blue square with yellow and white text which reads “the body happy org”. This is the logo for The Body Happy Organisation CIC]
Proof that I did wear clothes other than a tea-sta Proof that I did wear clothes other than a tea-stained hoodie and tracksuit bottoms at least once in the past month 😐
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[Image description: Molly is wearing pink dungarees with yellow buttons over a black rollneck long-sleeved top. She has a monochrome striped hairband on and her hair is pink. She is also wearing earrings with boobs on them. She looks very pleased, both with her earrings, the pink hair and the fact she’s not wearing sleepwear, for a change.]
A new report from the Education Policy Institute h A new report from the Education Policy Institute has concluded an obvious gender divide in the well-being of young adults. If you’d like to read more check out this article by Eleanor Peake in @newstatesman (I’ve linked to it in my Stories).
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Every week I get messages from parents and teachers concerned about the impact of social media on their kids’ body image. And of course, I couldn’t write a book about body image in kids and teens without covering social media - there’s a whole chapter in Body Happy Kids dedicated to the subject. 
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The thing is, social media isn’t going anywhere. And just like it can be a force for anxiety, shame and general angst it can be a force for good too. The trick is in knowing how to use it positively (and in holding the platforms to account for not moderating the spread of harmful viral trends and online abuse, and creating algorithms that deliberately create division and harm mental health... but that’s a story for another day). 
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But how can we expect our kids to have a handle on it when we, as adults, don’t ourselves? 
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I don’t believe the answer is to ban social media, but I don’t think kids should be given unfettered access to it either. 
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They need help navigating this stuff, learning about boundaries, developing media literacy skills so they can think critically about the content they’re consuming (just like many adults).
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And we also need to explore how we might be inadvertently contributing to the problem, perpetuating appearance ideals and creating a culture where kids learn it’s ok to body shame under the guise of health and to value each other based on the way they look.
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As ever, it’s complicated. I’d love to know what you think? What are some of the boundaries you have around social media in your house - both for yourself and your kids?
#BodyHappyKids 
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[Full text in Alt Text]
When I was pregnant with Effie I went to a pregnan When I was pregnant with Effie I went to a pregnancy yoga class every week. It was the highlight of my week. I left each session feeling like I was floating on a cloud, and I used the poses and breath work to guide me through labour too. But then I had my baby and found that, as a knackered new mum of two, I couldn’t find the time for yoga. I no longer had the excuse of doing it “for the bump” or “to prepare for labour”, so what was the point?
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It wasn’t until I started reinvesting in myself and unravelling the diet culture perspective on exercise that I found it again, along with running, which turned to hiking, and swimming. 
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It wasn’t about preparing my body for someone or something else. It was about the process itself, the time to unwind my mind and move my body for joy, just for me. I’ve lost a bit of that this past year with lockdowns, and I feel it.
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I recently signed up to @theunderbellyyoga with @mynameisjessamyn and feel like I’m finding it again. I love that my kids can see me taking time for myself, and enjoying movement, and that they sometimes want to join in too. Even if it is a bit annoying sometimes (swipe 👀). 
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#BodyHappyMum 
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[Image description: Molly and her 6 year old daughter Effie sit on yoga and gymnastics mats with their legs crossed and arms in the air. They have their backs to the camera. In the second image they are sitting crossed legged while twisting round to the side, and in the third image Molly is lying on the mat with her eyes closed while Effie leans over her, being a bit annoying.]
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