Parenting: Talking to myself. Constantly.

“Please can you put your shoes on?”

“If you’ve finished your cereal, bring the empty bowl in here.”

“Come and brush your teeth.”

(5 minutes later)

“Come and brush your teeth please.”

(2 minutes later)

“Come and brush your teeth. NOW!”

And so begins my morning. Every morning. I used to laugh when I’d hear adults muttering sentences like, “I don’t know why I bother. I may as well just go and talk to myself.” But now I know. I am familiar with the constant talking to yourself. Over and over again.

The brick wall when you ask a question that a stubborn 3 year old can’t be bothered to answer. The deaf ear she throws when you ask her to do something she doesn’t fancy doing. And the continuous, repeated pleas for her to PUT HER BLOODY SHOES ON.

Amazingly, I find there are certain sentences I only need to utter once before I get an immediate response.

“Would you like some cake?”

“It’s ice-cream for pudding.”

“You can watch CBeebies for half an hour.”

I have come to the conclusion that there is only one way to move forward and win this ongoing battle: say “ice-cream” at the beginning of every sentence.

Either that, or chuck out all the shoes.

No shoes



  1. says

    Haha love this – spot on! This is my life but with two of the little darlings to help me lose my marbles even more!

    Funny how the treat offers are always hear first time isn’t it?!

  2. Kate W says

    I feel that shoes are overrated…… is the brushing of hair, tidying of bedrooms, picking up the knickers you have just kicked off that landed on the poor dogs head, putting of plates into the dishwasher, remembering to pick up your homework/pe kit/thing that is VITAL to your success at school that day thus ensuring Mummy makes multiple trips to and from school all PRE 9.30 am, brushing of teeth, putting on PJs and CHUFFING WELL GOING TO BED!!!

  3. says

    I am in the same world right now and it drives me POTTY! Mine are 5 and 6 and everything I say as to be doubled almost. I have days when I don’t even want to talk to them anymore. Actually recently on a trip to the supermarket I got so cross that I ignored them for a good 10 min not answering one question. That annoyed them so much in the end they were begging me to talk! That was hilarious :)

  4. says

    Aaaah yessss. *nods in agreement*. No better now at 6 and 9. I have made a visual timetable with pics of steps in morning routine that helped a bit… until the velcroed cards got posted behind the radiator :)

  5. says

    ditto for me here too! It is very frustrating! I genuinely think mine don’t hear me as they are making so much noise nothing can get through to them!! I like the idea of ignoring their questions though, that would be amusing..

  6. says

    I have to say it doesn’t get any better either… teens are just as bad, however you do get an added “in a minute” which never seems to come round funnily enough!

  7. says

    I love this post – you are not alone my daughters are 6 and 3 and I go through exactly the same thing as you EVERY day! I ask “What breakfast would you like?”about 15 times followed by “Hurry up and finish your breakfast we need to go to school”! and I never get a reply its maddening! Lol! Thanks again for sharing!

  8. says

    We have the opposite problem with brushing teeth. Whenever it is silent, there is a 57% chance that our two or three year old are in the bathroom making it rain toothpaste. If we forget to enforce brushing, even for a minute, we are sternly and promptly reminded by them. Same goes for the shoes. If anyone tries to leave the house, they are already lined up at the door with shoes on.

    We do have the listening problem though. I like the idea of saying “ice cream” before everything though. That is a creative idea. I’m sure “candy” or “video game” would work just as well for ours.

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