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You are here: Home / MOTHERHOOD / Babies / The day my daughter was referred to the hospital

The day my daughter was referred to the hospital

January 24, 2012 by Molly 42 Comments

Frog has always had wonky feet.

The day she was born she came out all big feet and long skinny legs. She had Correctional Talipeze, meaning there wasn’t enough room for her long old feet in my womb, so they came out a bit like flippers.

Fast forward to today and at nearly 19 months Frog still isn’t walking.

I’ve attempted the Mother Earth approach. In fact, I’ve taken it too far.

So eager to take the “She’ll do it when she’s ready” path, I’ve deliberately shut my eyes to the fact Frog has very wonky feet and walks in a decidedly odd manner. A bit like a duck. When she’s walking that is – which is very rarely and, even then, with a walker. She has yet to stand on her own.

Today I realised I couldn’t put it off any longer. So I took a trip to see the health visitor.

I shrugged off that nagging doubt in the back of my mind and calmly told the lady I was sure it was nothing, but her feet were a bit funny. And by the way, when she was born someone mentioned something about clicky hips. But, you know, I was sure it was nothing.

The woman asked me to strip Frog from the waist down and walk her across the crowded waiting room. And, as my perfect baby waddled her wonky way through the packed room, it dawned on me that there could be a problem.

“I’d like you to take her to see the GP as soon as you can”, said the health visitor. “I think there may be an issue with her hips and feet. I think she may need to be referred to a specialist”.

Oh.

Of course I knew this. Deep down I wasn’t surprised. Every time someone told me “They’re all different”, I could hear a little voice at the back of my head. But I thought it was Paranoid New Mum. I thought it was the competitive one that needed to be ignored. Turns out I should have paid her more heed.

So we saw a GP this evening. And we’ve been referred. But Paranoid New Mum has been shelved for a little while longer as Earth Mother holds onto the doctor’s parting words: “Don’t worry, I’m sure it’s nothing. I’m sure she’s fine.”

Mother Earth loves that doctor.

 

 

 

 

Filed Under: Babies, MOTHERHOOD Tagged With: development, doctor, Health Visitor, hospital, Parenting, talipeze, toddlers, walking

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Comments

  1. granny from the north says

    January 28, 2012 at 11:37 am

    Sorry to disappoint “Panic Paranoid Mother” is other half of “Earth Mother” and both are needed! You have both…That’s why you are the most fantastic caring and wonderful mum. Hang on in there…!!! Love XXX

    Reply
  2. Kylie Hodges (@kykaree) says

    January 27, 2012 at 7:40 pm

    Keep going mother earth. Joseph was 23 and a half months when he finally walked. We had a tough time with his consultant (J was premmie) who was convinced it was cerebral palsy, but this Earth Mother stuck her fingers in her ears and sung “la la la”, every subsequent professional just smiled and said he was too clever for walking! I am sure your dear one is the same! Too clever. If there is an issue I am sure it can be corrected, stay at one with the earth, Mother!

    Reply
    • mothersalwaysright says

      January 27, 2012 at 8:05 pm

      Thank you! We shall wait and see. I’m hoping Earth Mother will prevail, whatever the outcome, and the panic Paranoid Mother will stay firmly hidden.

      Reply
  3. emma says

    January 27, 2012 at 1:34 pm

    Just found this post when I was looking at the competition (which I will come back too). Hope all is well, but if not you will find that the children are so resilient. My little Erin has been in a spica cast for 13 weeks now and she is doing amazing. My little munchkin also couldnt walk, not until she was 22 months and then it was a cute waddle not a walk. Sending positive vibes.

    Reply
    • mothersalwaysright says

      January 27, 2012 at 7:12 pm

      Thank you for the lovely words. It’s great to hear positive stories like yours. We don’t know what the problem is yet (or even if there definitely is one) but hearing about people who have gone through the “worse case scenario” as it were and come out the other side absolutely fine, is great to hear. THANK YOU x

      Reply
  4. leanna says

    January 25, 2012 at 10:46 pm

    Well done for going with your instincts… now that you’ve made the appointment frog will probably start walking. x

    Reply
  5. The Mad House says

    January 25, 2012 at 10:47 am

    All will be fine in the end I am sure. It is there job to scare the bejesus out if us

    Reply
    • mothersalwaysright says

      January 25, 2012 at 7:24 pm

      True. They’re experts in that field!

      Reply
  6. helen1950 says

    January 25, 2012 at 9:26 am

    I am thinking of you … and Mother Earth

    Reply
    • mothersalwaysright says

      January 25, 2012 at 7:23 pm

      Thank you, Earth Mother is doing her best not to let Paranoid Mother take over!

      Reply
  7. Jane Clarke says

    January 25, 2012 at 7:03 am

    she will be fine,there is no point in worrying ,you can’t do anything about it. She will love the trip to the hospital, all those new experiences and a chance to show off.

    Reply
    • mothersalwaysright says

      January 25, 2012 at 7:23 pm

      You know her so well! x

      Reply
  8. northernmum says

    January 25, 2012 at 6:50 am

    Little girls were invented to worry their mums, just wait till her and libs are teenagers…..

    Here whenever
    X

    Reply
    • mothersalwaysright says

      January 25, 2012 at 7:22 pm

      Knowing our girls, they’ll be bloomin’ hell raisers. *sigh*

      Reply
  9. Mum2babyinsomniac says

    January 24, 2012 at 11:04 pm

    Oh poor you, that must be so worrying. My fingers are crossed for you and Frog xx

    Reply
    • mothersalwaysright says

      January 25, 2012 at 7:22 pm

      Thank you. Feeling much better after a good night’s sleep. Hoping it’s all positive news.

      Reply
  10. MsXpat says

    January 24, 2012 at 9:42 pm

    Sometimes its best to listen to that small inner voice. There are times first time moms a made to feel overly paranoid but you know what we look after our kids 24/7 so we know them best. Its good that took her for a check up, set you mind at ease. Good luck with your trip to the specialist.

    Reply
    • mothersalwaysright says

      January 25, 2012 at 7:21 pm

      Thank you. I’m sure it’ll all be fine.

      Reply
  11. Emma (@mummymummymum) says

    January 24, 2012 at 9:33 pm

    Fingers crossed it is nothing to worry about. Let us know how you get on and give Frog a cuddle from me and Hannah. xx

    Reply
    • mothersalwaysright says

      January 25, 2012 at 7:21 pm

      We shall – we’ll have to meet up again soon. Frog can chase Hannah around on all fours and display her crawling abilities!

      Reply
  12. Anna says

    January 24, 2012 at 9:24 pm

    Definitely hold onto Earth Mother, as everything will be fine whatever happens. And definitely don’t do Guilt Mother as you’re a fab mum and flippers and all, Frog is obviously a very happy, gorgeous little girl. Lots of luck with it all xx

    Reply
    • mothersalwaysright says

      January 25, 2012 at 7:20 pm

      Ah, thanks Anna. xx

      Reply
  13. anna tims (@ageingmatron) says

    January 24, 2012 at 8:55 pm

    Gosh, what a worry. Bravely told, might I say. Presumably, if there is a problem, they can sort it out since they caught it early before bones etc have fully formed. And she’s too young to worry about it, so it’s worse for you. She sounds adorable.

    Reply
    • mothersalwaysright says

      January 25, 2012 at 7:19 pm

      Here’s hoping. It’s early days and chances are there’s nothing wrong. Earth Mother is staying calm. *That may be a little lie*

      Reply
  14. averagemummysaz says

    January 24, 2012 at 8:01 pm

    Really hope she is ok, as someone already said, she WILL be fine. My sis had clicky hips treated with a big old plaster cast at around a year, but you know what? She was fine in the cast, she was fine the minute it was removed. Little ones adapt. And my sis is now just your average 28 year old who was an excellent gymnast at school! Xx

    Reply
    • mothersalwaysright says

      January 25, 2012 at 7:19 pm

      I love hearing stories like this – thank you!

      Reply
  15. HELEN says

    January 24, 2012 at 7:47 pm

    ahh I love her little flippers! I’m sure she will be fine…you will see that she is x

    Reply
  16. Kelly says

    January 24, 2012 at 7:37 pm

    Sending you positive thoughts x

    Reply
    • mothersalwaysright says

      January 24, 2012 at 7:39 pm

      Thanks Kelly x

      Reply
  17. Ruth says

    January 24, 2012 at 7:36 pm

    Oh lovely, so sorry you’re going through this. You totally did the right thing by trusting your instincts and taking her to get checked out – well done you rockin’ Mama! She – and you – will both be absolutely fine, whatever the outcome. But waiting is never nice – big hugs to you both x

    Reply
    • mothersalwaysright says

      January 24, 2012 at 7:38 pm

      Thanks Ruth. Relieved to finally get it checked. Even if they didn’t say what I wanted to hear.

      Reply
  18. Edspire says

    January 24, 2012 at 7:32 pm

    I am sure everything will be okay.
    Stay positive Mother Earth.
    Thinking of you x

    Reply
    • mothersalwaysright says

      January 24, 2012 at 7:36 pm

      Thank you Jennie. I know it’ll be OK. Whatever the issue. Couldn’t be an ostrich about it any longer!

      Reply
  19. Mistress Mummy says

    January 24, 2012 at 7:27 pm

    She will be absolutely fine.
    My cousin had something similar, then one day the Dr looked at her, gave her leg a pull and *click* she suddenly started walking!
    Hope she gets there soon, don’t worry about it x

    Reply
    • mothersalwaysright says

      January 24, 2012 at 7:30 pm

      Thank you x

      Reply
  20. Kate Takes 5 says

    January 24, 2012 at 7:24 pm

    She WILL be fine. Whatever the outcome. x

    Reply
    • mothersalwaysright says

      January 24, 2012 at 7:30 pm

      Thanks Kate. Yep, I know. She was rather excited about being at the doctors so I’m sure she’ll positively wet herself with glee at the hospital. x

      Reply
    • Deborah the Closet Monster says

      January 25, 2012 at 5:02 am

      This. ♥

      Reply
      • mothersalwaysright says

        January 25, 2012 at 7:22 pm

        Thanks Deb x

        Reply
  21. becomingcliche says

    January 24, 2012 at 7:23 pm

    I’m so sorry you are going through this. Here’s hoping that it really is nothing.

    Reply
    • mothersalwaysright says

      January 24, 2012 at 7:29 pm

      Thank you. Mother Earth will prevail a little longer!

      Reply

Trackbacks

  1. 20 months and still not walking | Mother's Always Right says:
    February 28, 2012 at 1:56 pm

    […] that we know there may be a problem, I’ve stopped mentioning the non-toddling status of my toddler to other mums. I’m sick […]

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Hello and welcome! I'm Molly Forbes - podcaster, presenter and blogger with a passion for positivity, confidence and body image chat. Regularly writing and vlogging about empowering female issues from a motherhood angle, I also cover lifestyle and fashion topics for like-minded mums who want to rediscover themselves after having children. Thanks for stopping by! Read More…

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Dear PE teachers (and everyone), don’t do this 💔
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If you’re a PE teacher and you’re interested in engaging more kids in class then lose the diet culture and body shaming messaging - even if it’s meant in jest. Research shows kids who feel comfortable in their body are more likely to take part in sports, and movement is for ALL bodies, not just the kids with super athletic toned ones. 
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Want more insight and help with this stuff? Sign up to a Body Happy Kids workshop - we’ve got you. Oh, and read Train Happy by @tallyrye in the meantime.
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And parents - if your kids experience this type of messaging in their school setting absolutely challenge it. We’ve got a template letter on the #FreeFromDiets website you can tweak and a downloadable info pack about the workshops you can send to your school if you’d like them to sign up. Just hit the Workshops link in my bio and scroll down towards the bottom of the page.
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Creating a body happy setting can: 
⚡️increase engagement in class 
⚡️increase engagement in movement 
⚡️increase academic attainment 
⚡️increase happiness, confidence and overall wellbeing
⚡️help kids be more likely to engage in health promoting behaviours 
(And that’s just for starters).
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PS. I’m not coming for teachers - my husband is one. BUT research shows weight bias is often more common in PE teachers than other subject areas so this is a conversation worth having. 
#BodyHappyKids
I turn 37 in three weeks. When I was younger I use I turn 37 in three weeks. When I was younger I used to think 37 was old. It was “grown-up”, boring, over-the-hill. 
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By the time you were 37 you had your life figured out, wore sensible clothes and had waved goodbye to the fun stuff. 
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It’s no surprise I thought that really. Women aged 37 and over - particularly mums - were invisible. The only representations of older women on screen were the matriarchs. Ad campaigns and magazines featured young women in their “prime” (side note: 🤮 hate that phrase - what does “prime” even mean? We’re not cuts of meat. “Prime” baby making age? Is making babies all we’re good for?!)
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There was no space for any other version of women over 35. Women over 35 weren’t playful, fun, adventurous, sexual, curious. Women over 35 were Responsible, Sensible, Dutiful.
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Well that’s not what 37 is going to look like for me. Sure I do school runs and meet deadlines and wash smelly socks. But I also play and dance and adventure and enjoy my body. I feel like I’m just getting going to be honest. 
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37 is going to be a big year. I’m excited. I’m ready. And I’m certainly not invisible. Bring it on.
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#BirthdayCountdown #MumsGoneWild
Every year @GirlGuiding publishes something called Every year @GirlGuiding publishes something called the Girls’ Attitudes Survey. It’s a big piece of research into the thoughts and feelings of the girls in their community and gives an insight into some of the things that are important to girls and young women in the UK today. 
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The early findings of the 2020 survey have been released and the headline is (surprise, surprise) girls feel under intense pressure to look a certain way and it’s damaging their confidence and wellbeing. 
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Here are some of the stats:
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⚡️80% of girls and young women have considered changing how they look. 
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⚡️51% of girls aged 7-10 believe women are judged more on what they look like than what they can do (this figure is up from 35% in 2016).
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There’s also the finding that two thirds of girls support legislation to stop them seeing ads for diet products and weight loss clubs. 
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It makes for pretty devastating reading but is worth looking at, particularly if you have a daughter - I’ll link to the early findings in my Stories and the full report will be out next month.
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These girls are telling us not only do they feel this intense pressure to look a certain way, but that it’s causing them pain. They are telling us they don’t want the pressure, the ads, the constant barrage of negativity making them feel insecure about their appearance and their body. It’s costing them their wellbeing, confidence and health. 
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It’s time to listen.
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Sign the #FreeFromDiets petition. Tell your kids’ school about the Body Happy Kids Workshop for teachers. Call out diet culture when you see it (particularly when it comes for your kids). There are more resources in my bio as well as a post on media literacy further down my grid too. It doesn’t have to be this way. 💕✨ #BodyHappyKids
My babies started Year 1 & Year 6 today and as I w My babies started Year 1 & Year 6 today and as I waved them off to school after months of being home, it got me thinking about how my relationship with their first home has changed: my body. ❤️
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I have thin privilege but I’ve still often felt like my body was “wrong”. Why? Because like many of us I live in a society that taught me to fear fatness and idolise thinness from an early age. 
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Internalised fatphobia ran so deep that even after my body performed its most miraculous feat of my life - growing and birthing a human - I feared the softness of my belly.
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I justified the internalised fat phobia by telling myself it was about health, believing that health was a simplified concept I could control and monitor by a number on the scales. 
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And even when I started to suspect diets weren’t healthy I still failed to recognise the total system of oppression that diet culture is, how it harms so very many people including children, how it creates a culture where discriminating against people over their weight is seen as acceptable under the guise of health concern.
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I believe we will never end body-based oppression until we do the internal work too, rejecting diet culture & internalised fat phobia. Then we can challenge the health “facts” we’re sold by a multi billion £ industry, and investigate why we’re so ready to accept government diet culture infused health policy when we’re quick to question other policies.
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It starts with us showing body acceptance to our children, teaching them ALL bodies are good bodies, giving them the tools to question anyone who says otherwise. 
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This is not just about raising children at peace in their body. It’s about raising children who grow to challenge a system that harms us all, but particularly those in marginalised bodies. 
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For me, it started with exploring my feelings about my babies’ first home. ❤️
A little story about 🩸periods🩸 and intuitive A little story about 🩸periods🩸 and intuitive movement and diet culture - here’s the headline: DIET CULTURE MESSES UP OUR RELATIONSHIP WITH OUR BODY AND THIS HARM RUNS DEEP.
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Let me explain. 
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This was me last week. We hiked up a hill and when we got to the top the sky turned a murky shade of grey. Within seconds we were being pelted by hail and rain. It was GLORIOUS. I felt ALIVE.
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Not so this week. Because this week I got my period. And instead of relaxing into it, being gentle with myself, I battled it. I got frustrated with myself when exhaustion hit and my brain felt soupy. I tried to dig deep to find my spark, my energy, I felt guilt at missing swim sessions I’d booked. 
.
Why? Because diet culture runs deep. I examined it and realised I was feeling guilt at what I’d told myself I “should” be doing, rather than what my body *actually* needed. “No one regrets a workout! It’ll pep you up! Energise you!” Said the voice. But my body was bleeding and I was tired to my bones. I didn’t feel like it. And I felt like I was letting some invisible person down. 
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Last night I gave myself permission to be gentle. Cancelled all my swim sessions for a couple of days. Had a bath and put on my comfiest PJs. Turned off my laptop and phone, watched a film and had an early night. It’s what my body needed, and once I actually listened to it I felt so much better. 
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Embracing the seasons of my cycle and going with my natural energy levels is how I’m reclaiming my relationship with my body, I’ve decided. For me, this is the last internal bastion of rebellion against diet culture. And it’s (literally) bloody liberating 🩸⚡️💥
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#BodyHappyMum #JoyfulMovement #DevonIsHeaven #PeriodPower #WeBleed
No child comes fresh out the womb doubting their b No child comes fresh out the womb doubting their body. But, little by little, the messages come.
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Some of the messages may be from what they see online on TV and in magazines. Some of them may even come from the people who love and care for them - their friends, parents, grandparents, teachers and even doctors. Some of the messages are blatant and some are more insidious.
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It’s not hopeless though. Here are some things you can do, right now:
✨ Speak to yourself with kindness or use neutral language about your own body in front of your kids.
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✨Call out the messages when you see them - point them out and talk about what they’re promoting, and show your kids the other perspective. This is called media literacy and I’ve got a post further down my grid with lots more info on this.
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✨ Teach your kids that beauty and health don’t just look one way, and that regardless of the outside shell of our body all humans deserve respect, empathy and love - and that includes self-love. (Some mantras that I use with my kids to help drive this message home - ALL bodies are GOOD bodies 💕 It’s not your job to be pretty 💕 Your body is YOUR OWN.)
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✨ Seek out wider representation, whether that’s through books, social media accounts, positive TV shows and films, it all matters.
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✨ Set clear boundaries - if you have a family member or friend who constantly discusses diets, body shames themselves or makes comments about other people’s bodies (and maybe even your child’s) have a conversation with them about why this isn’t OK. Explain that little ears are always listening and you’re working hard to raise your kids to have a happy, healthy relationship with their body. 
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For more resources on this check out the links in my bio ❤️
#BodyHappyKids
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[📸 My one day old daughter’s foot in my hand, taken in 2010, by @carolinepalmerphoto]
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