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You are here: Home / MOTHERHOOD / The un-waiting game

The un-waiting game

September 23, 2014 by Molly 11 Comments

39 weeks pregnant

Apparently it’s the law that as soon as you reach full term (37 weeks+) when you’re pregnant, you become grumpy, twitchy and are desperate to “get the baby out”. Well, if that’s the law, then I just broke it.

It’s official. I can now no longer sit in a ladylike manner as my huge bump and partially engaged baby make it impossible to close my legs. Attractive. Still, despite what many people seem to think, I’m in no rush to down huge quantities of raspberry leaf tea or eat bucket-loads of curry.

I’m 39 weeks pregnant and my due date is fast approaching, but I know from experience that putting a big ring around a day on the calendar and expecting your baby to know their “deadline” doesn’t work. Fewer than 5% of babies are actually born on their due date after all. Frog arrived 12 days past hers.

This is what I currently look like:

39 week pregnant bump

This is what my four year old daughter thinks I look like: 

Hippo

(“It’s a hippo Mummy! She’s got a big belly like you! HA HA HA HA.”)

To be fair, she has a point.

Still, I’m not in a rush to have this baby. Then again, I’m not in a rush NOT to have this baby. I’m just… not in a rush full stop.

By the time I reached this stage of my pregnancy with Frog four years ago I was fed up. The weather was meltingly hot, my maternity clothes no longer suited the season and my bump was too big for anything but one or two outfits anyway. I was bored, having been on leave for two weeks already. Everything was done: the house had been cleaned from top to bottom, twice; the baby clothes were washed; the hospital bag was packed. I even finished knitting a new baby blanket (that got bigger and bigger as the days crept past). I was well and truly ready to give birth.

This time though, things are different. Yes I’m huge, but the weather is cooler so I’m not massively uncomfortable. And yes, the house has been cleaned from top to bottom, the hospital bag has been packed and the baby clothes have been washed. But I’m relishing this time. It feels like the calm before the baby storm.

Frog is now at school full time (this is her first week doing full days) so I have space and quiet during the day to potter around, see friends, do a bit of yoga and nap. It’s delicious. Some days I’m zapped of all energy and some days I’m bursting with the stuff. On Sunday I woke up raring to go and, at 39 weeks pregnant, hiked up Dartmoor’s Haytor, near to where we live…

Haytor hike

This period just before baby feels special. We’re all so excited to meet the new arrival, but also enjoying our current family dynamic before it shifts and changes.

Family selfie

Very soon we grow from three to four. And then we have the rest of our lives to enjoy being together and living as a family. So I want to enjoy the short time that it’s just the three of us, rather than mope about and feel fed up that I’ve not gone into labour yet.

Climbing up Haytor

Haytor

I don’t know if it’s the meditation CDs I’ve been listening to, the yoga, the past experience of having a “late” baby or the rare peace and quiet time at home, but I feel relaxed and – for once in my life – content to be patient.

Usually I’m THE most impatient person. It drives the (self-proclaimed) Northern Love Machine crazy. But right now, I have this calm feeling that the baby will come when the baby is ready. I remember winding myself up a treat as I approached my due date with Frog, wondering if every twinge was an early sign of labour. Inevitably I’d end up disappointed, doggedly bouncing on my birthing ball and eating pineapple in a bid to “bring the baby on”.

Looking back I feel like I spoiled that last bit of my pregnancy. It was different I suppose, because I had no other child to keep me distracted. And I was getting constantly asked by family, friends and strangers alike if I’d had the baby yet which, at the time, made me feel under pressure to “perform”. As the days ticked on I felt like a failure for not having produced a baby on time. And so I got more frustrated and the cycle of grumpiness continued.

This baby could arrive tonight for all I know. And that would be amazing. But if he or she decides to stay tucked up inside for a bit longer then that’s OK too. I will continue to enjoy this special last bit with my huge bump and relish the anticipation of meeting our new little boy or girl very soon.

Everything is ready either way – I even wrote the baby a letter today (just as I did when I was 39 weeks pregnant with Frog). There really is nothing left to do but wait, do some yoga, eat chocolate and nap.

See you soon baby.

Letter to baby

How did you feel at the end of your pregnancy? Am I strange for not being impatient and climbing the walls?

Filed Under: MOTHERHOOD, Pregnancy Tagged With: 39 weeks pregnant, birth, bump, labour, Pregnancy, third trimester

« A snoop around the baby’s nursery
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Comments

  1. Heather says

    October 3, 2014 at 1:57 pm

    I was ok with both of my kiddos staying inside of me
    It’s a safe environment. I made a point of not thinking of the due date as an expiration date. The day would come babies don’t stay inside for ever. So for the time I could I enjoyed feeling the babies move. Although with my second the 2 months of daily contracts And chasing a toddler made waiting hard.

    Reply
  2. Hannah Budding Smiles says

    September 26, 2014 at 9:21 pm

    Aw I love your way of thinking! You look amazing too. I kept telling myself that my due date was 2 weeks after it actually was, I still felt a bit impatient once I got to 39 weeks but then Toby arrived at 39+6 anyway! Best of luck xx

    Reply
  3. Carie says

    September 26, 2014 at 4:37 am

    I think it’s definitely easier when you’ve got your head around going past your due date (and some way past too!); with Kitty all our nearest and dearest spent my pregnancy telling me how early they’d been and I was rather talked into an expectation of early. With Elma and Pip I was more at ease although I was uncomfy with Pip and more than ready for him to make an appearance!

    Reply
  4. Looking for blue sky says

    September 24, 2014 at 7:04 pm

    I never got to 39 weeks with any of my three, so I’ve often wondered what those last few weeks felt like – especially as I am not naturally patient! Glad you’re relaxed and enjoying it x

    Reply
    • Molly says

      September 25, 2014 at 8:26 am

      I’m not naturally patient either – I’m surprising myself! x

      Reply
  5. Emma says

    September 23, 2014 at 8:40 pm

    Having never gone over with my three i never has that overdue wait. However I am ready for you you to have yours as I want delicious photos and to send presents. Love you xx

    Reply
    • Molly says

      September 25, 2014 at 8:27 am

      Ooh we love presents! Can’t wait to share the news with you and for you to meet baby yourself! xx

      Reply
  6. Annwen says

    September 23, 2014 at 8:09 pm

    I wasn’t bothered at all with my son, I enjoyed late pregnancy and felt great once I’d stopped work. In fact once my due date passed I felt the best I had all pregnancy. With my daughter I was wheelchair bound with spd and spent 24/7 in agony so I was ready for pregnancy to end so that the pain would stop.

    Enjoy every minute, those days all to your self are amazing! And good luck, looking forward to good news soon! x

    Reply
    • Molly says

      September 25, 2014 at 8:28 am

      I can imagine SPD would definitely make the end of pregnancy utterly rubbish so I don’t blame you for being more than ready to meet your daughter. I have no idea how long my current mindset will last – hopefully as long as it needs to and I go into labour! x

      Reply
  7. Kate says

    September 23, 2014 at 7:53 pm

    I wasn’t desperate…….but then for numbers 2 & 3, I had the luxury of an agreed date to aim towards – in fact, I frightened the life out of kind souls at a party who enquired when I was due & I cheerfully replied “Oh she’s coming on Thursday”!!
    I think experience is a wonderfully calming thing – you KNOW roughly what is coming, you’ve done it before & know that your body can handle it! So I say make the most of this time and allow yourself to be excited about what is on the horizon!!

    Reply
    • Molly says

      September 25, 2014 at 8:29 am

      I can imagine having a set date makes things a lot easier in terms of planning! And thank you for the reassuring words. I think you’re absolutely right – the benefit of experience has definitely helped me stay calm and look forward to the birth this time around. x

      Reply

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Hello and welcome! I'm Molly Forbes - podcaster, presenter and blogger with a passion for positivity, confidence and body image chat. Regularly writing and vlogging about empowering female issues from a motherhood angle, I also cover lifestyle and fashion topics for like-minded mums who want to rediscover themselves after having children. Thanks for stopping by! Read More…

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Trying this thing where I live in the moment, cele Trying this thing where I live in the moment, celebrate my wins and stop focusing so much on my fails. I’ll let you know how it goes 😬✨🤞
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[Image description: Molly in the bath with pink water, holding a glass of prosecco. She has her eyes closed and is smiling.]
The self-isolation ends today so I’m planning a The self-isolation ends today so I’m planning a hike this weekend with my favourites. I don’t even care if it pours with rain, everyone is grumpy and I can’t open the thermos cos my husband’s screwed the lid on too tight. 
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I’ve missed the outside and it’s only been for two weeks, which feels pathetic to admit given that so many people are trapped at home perpetually, either through lack of accessibility, having to shield, or having little or no support for chronic health conditions or mental illness. 
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I’m so aware of how privileged I am to be able to go outside and stand under the sky on top of a big hill this weekend. I won’t forget it, or lose sight of that, for a minute. ✨
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[Image description: Molly and her two daughters, age 6 and 10, stand on a hiking trail with a valley behind them. They all wear outdoor hiking clothes - boots, jogging bottoms and jumpers - have their arms in the air and are smiling.]
Hey! Are you a teacher in a school with dwindling Hey! Are you a teacher in a school with dwindling budgets? Or maybe you run a kids’ club or youth group that relies on donations to keep going? Then I’m looking at 💥YOU💥
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On Tuesday November 3rd I’ll be hosting a ✨FREE✨ Body Happy Kids workshop at 2pm. There are 10 places up for grabs and you can apply via the link in my bio. These places are reserved for those that can’t afford the regular sessions (which cost £25 a place / £125 a group).
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It’s a one hour, evidence-based interactive workshop giving an introduction to body image and children, how it intersects with well-being, safeguarding and attainment and what you can do to make your setting a “body happy” one to give kids the best chance to thrive. 
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Tag someone you think could benefit from the opportunity, or let your kids’ school know! (PS there’s a downloadable info doc on the website you can send them for more info 👀) SWIPE ➡️ for testimonials 💕 #BodyHappyKids 
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It’s been a crap day - for no reason other than It’s been a crap day - for no reason other than I’ve hit a wall after 11 days of self-isolation. (Sharing this with the caveat that I know I’m hugely privileged and many others have it far worse, but toxic positivity is a thing and I think it’s important to share the less-than-shiny stuff too, particularly on an app that can trick us into thinking everyone else is living their best life every day.)
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Today I woke up feeling numb. Literally nothing. I couldn’t bring myself to get out of bed. I just lay there looking at the ceiling trying to ignore the daylight outside. Until a huge bolt of anxiety hit and stayed in my stomach all day. Usually I’d go for a walk, or a swim, or just have a chat with a pal on the school run, but that’s obviously not possible right now. 
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This year I’ve invested a huge amount of time, brain space and emotional energy into a piece of work that recently finished. I expected to feel relief when it was done but instead I feel... weird? Like, a bit bereft, lost, anxious. A bit out of sorts, and not sure what to do with myself. 
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I’ve got zero motivation to start the next big work thing on my list but also finding it super hard to just sit still and give myself some time and space. Plus, self-isolation 😬.
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So instead of trying to go all jolly jazz hands and force myself into denying the funk, I’ve decided to sit in it for a bit. Feel the feels, as they say. Allow myself to be grumpy, irritated, anxious and a bit sad and lonely. 
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It’s ok not to be happy all the time. It’s ok to feel the messy stuff. Solidarity if you’re feeling it too. ❤️ #MentalHealthMatters 
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[Image description: A photo of Molly in her kitchen, her face covered by messy hair, holding a mug. Her daughters play in the background and there’s an unemptied food bin on the kitchen counter. She is not smiling.]
(REPOST: I’m reposting this with just the body-s (REPOST: I’m reposting this with just the body-shaming tweet and without the paparazzi photo of Billie Eilish that accompanied it. Someone rightly pointed out that everyone sharing the photo doesn’t help Billie and on reflection I agree - it just gives more power to the person who took her photo without her permission.)
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Thanks to @alexlight_ldn for originally highlighting the absurdity of the original body shaming tweet (written, by the way, by a 29 year old man hiding behind a faceless avatar, which says it all I think). 
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[Image description: A graphic showing a tweet which reads “In 10 months Billie Eilish has developed a mid-30s wine mom body. Next to it is a photo of Molly in underwear with the caption “I’m 37, a mum and drink wine. Here’s my glorious body!”]
Self-isolation uniform as standard ✨ (PS She’l Self-isolation uniform as standard ✨ (PS She’ll always be my baby. May she always know how lovely she is 💕)
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