It’s fair to say, the (self-proclaimed) Northern Love Machine didn’t immediately “take” to fatherhood. He was never one of those happy clappy, hands-on dads, singing to his baby in the changing rooms or diving head-first into the baby groups. Of course he loved his baby girl with a fierce protectiveness, and would tenderly give her cuddles and do all the things expected of a new dad. But he didn’t immediately enjoy it.
I remember when Frog was about 5 weeks old. She was screaming, wouldn’t stop. We were all exhausted, didn’t know what was the matter. It was one of those moments that every parent goes through with a new baby – when you’re frustrated and panicked and not necessarily thinking straight because you haven’t slept more than 2 hours in a row for a month. The NLM just shouted “WHAT’S WRONG WITH YOU?!” and walked out of the house.
He came back half an hour later, apologised, and admitted he was struggling a bit. He hadn’t had nine months of a baby growing inside him. Nine months to bond and live an enforced change of lifestyle (no wine, no smelly cheese etc). Although we had very much planned this baby, he suddenly felt hit by the full force of responsibility when he was holding his newborn in his arms. “Anxious” was the word he used to describe this feeling in the pit of his stomach. Continue reading »