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You are here: Home / STYLE / How a change in body image led to a change in style

How a change in body image led to a change in style

September 14, 2018 by Molly 2 Comments

One of the biggest revelations for me over the past six months has been a shift in my “style identity”. I’ve always loved clothes (back in the 90s I’d spend all my pocket money in Tammy Girl) but after becoming a mum for the second time four years ago I fell into a bit of a fashion rut.

My feelings about my body played a huge roll in what I chose to wear, along with a sense of what a mum of two in her 30s “should” look like. I tried to get creative with breastfeeding fashion and, later, throw myself into being able to wear dresses again once I was no longer feeding but, ultimately, I always wore a variation on the same three outfits: jeans and jumper, midi dress or skirt, skinny jeans and baggy shirt.

At the beginning of the summer, bored by having a bulging wardrobe but nothing to wear, I decided it was time to gift myself with some new clothes that matched my altered mindset. I’d spent two years really working on my feelings about my body and, interestingly, this shift in attitude saw a shift in the clothes I was attracted to – and the best bit? I’d not had to change the shape of my body in order to feel able to wear these new clothes. 

Now it’s autumn and I’m continuing to overhaul my wardrobe, it’s amazing what I’ve been drawn to that I’d previously disregarded. Short skirts? I’m coming for you. Tight tops under high waist jeans? Yes please. Clashing prints and riots of colour? You bet.

These are all looks that I used to think were too extra for a mum, worried I’d flash my bum at soft-play or stand out too much on the school run. But now I don’t care. It’s a well worn cliche but life is too short to worry about that stuff and, let’s face it, I may be approaching my 35th birthday but I’ll never be this young again.

Step one of the wardrobe overhaul was to take four bin-bags of clothes to the charity shop and chuck a full drawer of old ratty underwear away. In fact, before I bought any new clothes I started on my underwear drawer, buying some pretty pants and bralettes. I’ve also added this stunning lace Pierre Mantoux bodysuit to my underwear drawer although, as you can see from the pics, it doubles up as a top in its own right.

In the past I’d never have even considered wearing a top that was remotely see-through, let alone posting photos of me wearing it on the internet. Which goes to show that a leopard (or a 34 year old mum) can change her spots after all.

If clothes are your thing then I’ve got a What I Wore in a Week on holiday video going up on YouTube very soon which talks about how my change in mindset has shaped my change in style. Make sure you’re subbed to my channel so you don’t miss it!

 

 

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Thanks to UK Lingerie for opening my eyes to the benefit of a bodysuit with this beautiful Pierre Mantoux Mirta Bodysuit. Turns out bodysuits aren’t just for the 90s. All words, photographs and opinions are my own, as ever. For more information about how I work with brands check out my Work With Me page. 

 

Filed Under: Fashion, STYLE Tagged With: body confidence, body image, fashion, mum style, style

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Comments

  1. Rachael says

    September 20, 2018 at 12:15 pm

    I love that fourth picture down of you! You look so pleased with your new bodysuit! 😀 So you should be too, it looks fabulous on you! xx

    Reply
    • Molly says

      September 24, 2018 at 9:12 am

      Thank you! I love it x

      Reply

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Hello and welcome! I'm Molly Forbes - podcaster, presenter and blogger with a passion for positivity, confidence and body image chat. Regularly writing and vlogging about empowering female issues from a motherhood angle, I also cover lifestyle and fashion topics for like-minded mums who want to rediscover themselves after having children. Thanks for stopping by! Read More…

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My body is good and excellent and my body only bel My body is good and excellent and my body only belongs to me ✨ (Words by Effie May, age 6 💕) #BodyHappyMum
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Image description: A close up of Molly’s bare skin as she hugs herself. It’s dark and part of her body is illuminated by light. She has her eyes closed and is smiling.
“Mummy I wrote a letter to myself,” she said. “Mummy I wrote a letter to myself,” she said. And my heart swelled. Maybe I’m doing an OK job after all 🤞❤️💕 #BodyHappyKids 
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I could leave this caption here but I need to make something clear: if you think it’s great that my daughter - a thin, white, nondisabled, cisgender kid - feels good in her body but you’re not here for the self-love of any kid who doesn’t look like her.... then you’ve missed the point.
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ALL bodies are good bodies, and without this important piece of the puzzle ALL children will be at risk of doubting their body. And what happens when they doubt their body? Well... hating our body doesn’t make us treat it with love, and the same is true of kids. 
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Great, now we’ve cleared that up, can we take a moment to appreciate the incredible phonetic spelling on show here?! 
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Image description: Effie, age 6, stands against a white wardrobe holding up a letter she has written to herself. It is spelled phonetically and reads “My body is good and excellent and my body only belongs to me.”
I used to struggle to buy stuff for myself if I ha I used to struggle to buy stuff for myself if I had any spare cash - not just treats, but basics like pants and tights that fit properly. I’d tell myself I didn’t need it, didn’t deserve it, couldn’t justify the expense. There’s still that little voice (the habit of putting everyone else’s needs first and my own last dies hard it seems) but I’m leaning into exploring why it still sometimes rears its head, instead of always listening to it. 
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I’m trying to buy as much as I can from pre-loved places or small businesses these days, which is why I’m very happy to share with you some of my latest finds: a star dress from Depop (£5), earrings from @kelzojewellery by @ourtransitionallife (£12) and the comfiest tights I’ve ever owned in Raspberry Pie by @snagtights (£6.99) 💕💕💕
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Have you found any great small brands lately? Shout them out in the comments so we can all support in the run up to Christmas. ⬇️⚡️
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Image description: Molly is smiling and sticking out her tongue to the camera. Her hair is freshly dyed a light shade of pink. She’s wearing a pink t’shirt underneath a black and white star patterned slip dress, with bright pink tights and black and pink earrings decorated with a boob design.
This is what teaching kids to idolise thinness and This is what teaching kids to idolise thinness and fear fatness looks like and it hurts my heart 💔
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This is what happens when we only give children a very narrow representation of what health / beauty / success / happiness looks like, and when we don’t incorporate mental health into conversations about health. The body image, self-esteem and wellbeing of children suffers. And it IS suffering.
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Last week @Childline_official launched their #NobodyIsNormal campaign and released figures showing they’ve run 43,000 counselling sessions for children since the first UK lockdown earlier this year. These are quotes from children they spoke to, showing that low self-esteem is a major issue for many of the kids they’ve been in touch with. 
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Head to their page for more information and resources, and to see their fantastic video. It’s a great way to open up a conversation about mental health and self-esteem with the children in your care. 
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If you’re a teacher or youth leader looking for ways to create body happy settings so the kids in your care can thrive then we’ve opened up booking on the final two #BodyHappyKids workshops of 2020. I’ll be leading these myself and you can book via the link in my bio. 
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It really doesn’t have to be this way ✨
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Image description: a series of slides showing quotes from ChildLine. Full text can be found in Alt Text.
I was at my desk all weekend so here’s a throwba I was at my desk all weekend so here’s a throwback to September when we hiked along part of the South West coast path and discovered three new beaches. I miss the outside. 
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This post is dedicated to anyone who says opting out of diet culture and a weight-focused health narrative means you automatically won’t move your body. Actually, the opposite is true. 
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Research shows exercising for intrinsic reasons (how we feel) is more likely to lead to consistent movement than if we do it for extrinsic reasons (how we look). 
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There’s so much research on this subject and about why diet culture and weight stigma is harmful. Suffice to say if you’ve not read the research, or any books, or listened to any podcasts, or even read the captions of some of the amazing people educating about this subject then you won’t know it all... despite what you learned at school or what your own unexamined internalised bias is telling you, or what the newspaper headlines say. 
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If you’re interested in learning more about this stuff there are lots of resources in the link in my bio, but for fitness specifically I recommend following @emmafitnessphd @tallyrye @thephitcoach & @amysnellingpt for starters and also check out @drjoshuawolrich recent post on this subject too ✨ #JoyfulMovement #BodyHappyKids
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Image Description: Molly and her two daughters on a beach, smiling. They wear hiking boots and Molly is wearing purple leopard print leggings and a neon yellow jumper. The sky is blue and the sun is shining.
Did you know the same area of the brain lights up Did you know the same area of the brain lights up when we experience the pain of social rejection as when we experience physical pain? True fact. Which is why I think 
it’s wild we spend so much energy in kids’ health education on nutrition (or “good food and bad food” as is so often the case) and so little on prepping them with the skills to navigate social media in a positive way. 🧐
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Social media can be a great thing, but it can also be a scary and anxiety-inducing place too (watch The Social Dilemma on Netflix for more on this!). We’re having conversations with children about the dangers of sugar but not even touching on the dangers of social media and the impact it can have on health (because mental health is health too FYI). 
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I’m a 37 year old woman and social media still messes with my head. What chance has a tween got? 
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I could lie and say that I always take the “other people’s opinion of me is none of my business” approach but the truth is I’m a sensitive people-pleaser so when I experience negativity online it stings. 
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I don’t read hate forums and am quick to block trolls, but that doesn’t mean this stuff has no impact. 
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I had a conversation with my pal @jskychat that helped me through a difficult phase recently, and I’ve shared the tweets that started it off in case they’re helpful for you too. I think Jsky should be brought in by the government to help design a PSHE social media lesson for the curriculum to be honest, but that’s a fight for another day. ❤️
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In the meantime, I’m teaching my kids the affirmation that “Their opinion is not my truth”, which works well in all life but seems particularly apt when it comes to social media.
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[Image description: Molly’s hand covers her face. On her hand are written the words “Their opinion isn’t my truth.” She is smiling. Full description of second slide in Alt Text.]
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