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You are here: Home / MOTHERHOOD / Festive kindness and Christmas wishes

Festive kindness and Christmas wishes

December 24, 2017 by Molly Leave a Comment

Back in November, I was worried my biggest girl had lost what Christmas was all about. Her obsession with how many presents she’d get was overwhelming, and I was starting to dread the day itself in case her “haul” didn’t live up to her expectations. All the little things that make the magic of Christmas – the family traditions and activities – were being forgotten as she went through her list of requests over and over again. It was draining.

Along with their chocolate advent calendars I made the girls a Kindness Advent, with a string of envelopes holding 24 different “kindness challenges”. This has proven to be the answer to balancing out some of the materialism of Christmas and re-introducing some of the big ideas around what makes the season so special.

We’re not a religious family and I’m certainly no Gold Star Pinterest mum, but having an opportunity to talk about being kind every day has gone a long way to cancelling out all the adverts for toys and stuff. (That and watching countless Christmas films hammering home the same message – The Grinch was particularly useful!)

There’s one piece of festive kindness in particular that stands out from all the rest. Freya wrote a letter and drew a picture for the postman to say thank you for delivering all the cards. She stuck it onto the front door and, when she came home from school it had gone. A couple of days passed and she received her own card in the post. “Dear Freya”, it read. “Thank you for my letter and drawing. I’ve stuck it on the fridge in my kitchen. Have a lovely Christmas, from Postman Colin”. She was thrilled and it showed her that being kind IS appreciated and doesn’t go unnoticed. 

A week or so later we were given a cake won by an elderly neighbour in a raffle. The neighbour’s husband died a couple of years ago and she lives alone. She’d been looking for a family to give the cake to, because she couldn’t eat it all on her own. Freya wrote her a letter to say thank you for the cake and to invite her round for mulled wine and mince pies. Later that night Freya got a card back from the neighbour to say thank you for the letter, and to say she couldn’t come for mulled wine but that she had put the letter on her wall because it was “the nicest one she’d received”. Another little glowing moment for Freya, and she went to sleep that night clutching her card.

The final piece of festive kindness that stands out this month was from my grumpy husband himself. If you’ve seen any of my videos before you’ll know Simon hates the limelight and has a natural tendency to be a bit of a grump. But underneath the brusque exterior he’s a big softie and so, when asked to step in and be Father Christmas at the school party, he couldn’t turn it down.

It’s literally the last thing he wanted to do and he couldn’t have been further out of his comfort zone. He did it to help me out (it was my job to book Santa as I’m on the PTFA – and our regular Santa was already busy) and to make the party that bit more special for all the younger kids at the school who get to see Father Christmas. He was nervous about it and moaned about it for a while beforehand, but when it came to the day he took on the role with acting brilliance, saying “I’m very tired because I’ve travelled all the day from the North Pole!”

I’m signing off for Christmas now, but I wanted to mark these little moments and share them with you as, for me, they’re what Christmas is all about. And if you can’t be a bit sentimental and soft at Christmas when can you? I’ll be filming snippets of the next couple of days to share on YouTube but for now, I’m off to sing Christmas songs and soak up every second of magic that is Christmas with a three and seven year old.

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

 

Filed Under: Kids, MOTHERHOOD Tagged With: Christmas, festive, festive kindness, kindness calendar, random acts of kindness

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Hello and welcome! I'm Molly Forbes - podcaster, presenter and blogger with a passion for positivity, confidence and body image chat. Regularly writing and vlogging about empowering female issues from a motherhood angle, I also cover lifestyle and fashion topics for like-minded mums who want to rediscover themselves after having children. Thanks for stopping by! Read More…

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My body is good and excellent and my body only bel My body is good and excellent and my body only belongs to me ✨ (Words by Effie May, age 6 💕) #BodyHappyMum
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Image description: A close up of Molly’s bare skin as she hugs herself. It’s dark and part of her body is illuminated by light. She has her eyes closed and is smiling.
“Mummy I wrote a letter to myself,” she said. “Mummy I wrote a letter to myself,” she said. And my heart swelled. Maybe I’m doing an OK job after all 🤞❤️💕 #BodyHappyKids 
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I could leave this caption here but I need to make something clear: if you think it’s great that my daughter - a thin, white, nondisabled, cisgender kid - feels good in her body but you’re not here for the self-love of any kid who doesn’t look like her.... then you’ve missed the point.
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ALL bodies are good bodies, and without this important piece of the puzzle ALL children will be at risk of doubting their body. And what happens when they doubt their body? Well... hating our body doesn’t make us treat it with love, and the same is true of kids. 
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Great, now we’ve cleared that up, can we take a moment to appreciate the incredible phonetic spelling on show here?! 
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Image description: Effie, age 6, stands against a white wardrobe holding up a letter she has written to herself. It is spelled phonetically and reads “My body is good and excellent and my body only belongs to me.”
I used to struggle to buy stuff for myself if I ha I used to struggle to buy stuff for myself if I had any spare cash - not just treats, but basics like pants and tights that fit properly. I’d tell myself I didn’t need it, didn’t deserve it, couldn’t justify the expense. There’s still that little voice (the habit of putting everyone else’s needs first and my own last dies hard it seems) but I’m leaning into exploring why it still sometimes rears its head, instead of always listening to it. 
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I’m trying to buy as much as I can from pre-loved places or small businesses these days, which is why I’m very happy to share with you some of my latest finds: a star dress from Depop (£5), earrings from @kelzojewellery by @ourtransitionallife (£12) and the comfiest tights I’ve ever owned in Raspberry Pie by @snagtights (£6.99) 💕💕💕
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Have you found any great small brands lately? Shout them out in the comments so we can all support in the run up to Christmas. ⬇️⚡️
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Image description: Molly is smiling and sticking out her tongue to the camera. Her hair is freshly dyed a light shade of pink. She’s wearing a pink t’shirt underneath a black and white star patterned slip dress, with bright pink tights and black and pink earrings decorated with a boob design.
This is what teaching kids to idolise thinness and This is what teaching kids to idolise thinness and fear fatness looks like and it hurts my heart 💔
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This is what happens when we only give children a very narrow representation of what health / beauty / success / happiness looks like, and when we don’t incorporate mental health into conversations about health. The body image, self-esteem and wellbeing of children suffers. And it IS suffering.
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Last week @Childline_official launched their #NobodyIsNormal campaign and released figures showing they’ve run 43,000 counselling sessions for children since the first UK lockdown earlier this year. These are quotes from children they spoke to, showing that low self-esteem is a major issue for many of the kids they’ve been in touch with. 
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Head to their page for more information and resources, and to see their fantastic video. It’s a great way to open up a conversation about mental health and self-esteem with the children in your care. 
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If you’re a teacher or youth leader looking for ways to create body happy settings so the kids in your care can thrive then we’ve opened up booking on the final two #BodyHappyKids workshops of 2020. I’ll be leading these myself and you can book via the link in my bio. 
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It really doesn’t have to be this way ✨
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Image description: a series of slides showing quotes from ChildLine. Full text can be found in Alt Text.
I was at my desk all weekend so here’s a throwba I was at my desk all weekend so here’s a throwback to September when we hiked along part of the South West coast path and discovered three new beaches. I miss the outside. 
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This post is dedicated to anyone who says opting out of diet culture and a weight-focused health narrative means you automatically won’t move your body. Actually, the opposite is true. 
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Research shows exercising for intrinsic reasons (how we feel) is more likely to lead to consistent movement than if we do it for extrinsic reasons (how we look). 
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There’s so much research on this subject and about why diet culture and weight stigma is harmful. Suffice to say if you’ve not read the research, or any books, or listened to any podcasts, or even read the captions of some of the amazing people educating about this subject then you won’t know it all... despite what you learned at school or what your own unexamined internalised bias is telling you, or what the newspaper headlines say. 
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If you’re interested in learning more about this stuff there are lots of resources in the link in my bio, but for fitness specifically I recommend following @emmafitnessphd @tallyrye @thephitcoach & @amysnellingpt for starters and also check out @drjoshuawolrich recent post on this subject too ✨ #JoyfulMovement #BodyHappyKids
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Image Description: Molly and her two daughters on a beach, smiling. They wear hiking boots and Molly is wearing purple leopard print leggings and a neon yellow jumper. The sky is blue and the sun is shining.
Did you know the same area of the brain lights up Did you know the same area of the brain lights up when we experience the pain of social rejection as when we experience physical pain? True fact. Which is why I think 
it’s wild we spend so much energy in kids’ health education on nutrition (or “good food and bad food” as is so often the case) and so little on prepping them with the skills to navigate social media in a positive way. 🧐
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Social media can be a great thing, but it can also be a scary and anxiety-inducing place too (watch The Social Dilemma on Netflix for more on this!). We’re having conversations with children about the dangers of sugar but not even touching on the dangers of social media and the impact it can have on health (because mental health is health too FYI). 
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I’m a 37 year old woman and social media still messes with my head. What chance has a tween got? 
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I could lie and say that I always take the “other people’s opinion of me is none of my business” approach but the truth is I’m a sensitive people-pleaser so when I experience negativity online it stings. 
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I don’t read hate forums and am quick to block trolls, but that doesn’t mean this stuff has no impact. 
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I had a conversation with my pal @jskychat that helped me through a difficult phase recently, and I’ve shared the tweets that started it off in case they’re helpful for you too. I think Jsky should be brought in by the government to help design a PSHE social media lesson for the curriculum to be honest, but that’s a fight for another day. ❤️
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In the meantime, I’m teaching my kids the affirmation that “Their opinion is not my truth”, which works well in all life but seems particularly apt when it comes to social media.
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[Image description: Molly’s hand covers her face. On her hand are written the words “Their opinion isn’t my truth.” She is smiling. Full description of second slide in Alt Text.]
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