Tag Archives: .motherhood

Managing the juggle – a piece for MAMA UK

26 Tuesday Feb 2013

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Before Christmas, I felt like I was about to crack. A family bereavement, 80 hour weeks, pressures in my working life and sheer exhaustion had me on the edge. I felt like I was swimming upstream in a river, against an incredibly strong tide, trying to keep afloat. Actually, I felt a bit like I was drowning.

That was November and December, but January and February have been different. My attempts at regaining some kind of control over what I take on and how I manage the working mum juggle seem to be working (most of the time).

I’ve made a few changes and taken a good look at what I can physically manage with the time I have to do what I need to do. It’s helped. I no longer feel like I’m drowning. Instead, I’m drifting along on a canoe, floating with the tide rather than trying to swim against it. Continue reading »

Lessons from Mum

24 Sunday Feb 2013

Posted by in Motherhood, Relationships, Work

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My mum is wise and funny and – despite what I may have thought as a teenager – often right about most things.

A little while ago, she started sending me postcards with little life lessons on the back. The theme is “Bringing Home The Bacon”, so each note focuses on something work / life balance orientated. It’s her way of sitting down for a cup of tea with me at the end of a long day, even though she now lives four hours away.

When I was little, Mum worked full-time. She’d strap me onto the back of her bike, cycle across Bristol and teach a full day at school, before collecting me and cycling home. This was pretty much the case until my sister came along when I was four. Then Mum worked part-time for a while before returning to full-time work a couple of years later. Continue reading »

Friendships worth making an effort over

23 Saturday Feb 2013

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You know how, in life, you meet lots of people but don’t necessarily keep in touch with them all? I’m not on about “Facebook friends” or acquaintances you bump into in the street, I’m on about REAL friends. The ones you’d drive hundreds of miles for. The ones you’d answer your phone to in the middle of the night.

Growing up and going through changes in your life is always a good indication of the resilience of a friendship. I remember being at university and thinking every single friend I made would be one for life. Being a pretty sociable person – out every other night with different groups of people – I had quite a few friends. But I can count on one hand the ones I’m still in touch with now. Continue reading »

When “good” isn’t good enough

12 Tuesday Feb 2013

Posted by in Motherhood, Social media, Work

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Do you ever get the feeling you’re not good enough?

Not successful enough? Not rich enough? Not achieved enough in your career? Not been a good enough parent or partner?

Because I get that. All the time.

I got a postcard from my mum today. She titled it “Bringing Home The Bacon” and put a note on the back, reminding me that it’s important to be ambitious but not to the point where you set yourself targets you can’t reach. She is wise. Continue reading »

Me Time and Mum Time – striking the balance

27 Sunday Jan 2013

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A perfect bath

This picture sums up a discovery I’ve made over the past few weeks. To be the best mum possible, you need to strike a balance and find some time for yourself. Even if it’s just a little sliver.

I made a decision over the Christmas break to try and regain some kind of balance. I wrote recently about how being self-employed can make it hard to get that balance right. Although I love every aspect of what I do, I’ve come to accept that I do need some element of non-work, non-mum life too. I need a piece of something for myself. Continue reading »

All change

13 Sunday Jan 2013

Posted by in Family, Motherhood, Work

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The first proper week of working January has been one of change. Changes in my radio work, changes in my toddler’s childcare and changes in my evening schedule. It’s necessary change that needed to happen.

At the end of last year life was pretty tricky. We suffered a family loss, my working hours had snowballed to around 75 a week (plus the 1.5 – 2 hour commute every day) and the house looked like it had been trashed by a million angry children intent on creating ten thousand loads of washing that hadn’t been touched.

Over Christmas I decided enough was enough. I can take life on five or six hours sleep – but not every single night. I can take working evenings when I have to be up at 4am for my radio job – but not every single night. I can take the mother guilt that comes with feeling too tired to properly focus on playing with my toddler – but not every single day. Sometimes I need a break. Continue reading »

Before dawn

28 Wednesday Nov 2012

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The deepest of sleeps. My face is buried in the warm softness of my pillow and my mind is far, far away. Dreaming.

I wake before I hear it. The gentle buzz of the vibration on my phone is enough to stir me from the depths of my fuzz. I reach quickly for the phone before it goes off and rouses the rest of the house. Experience has taught me this.

I roll over, instantly irritated by my snoring husband, fast asleep next to me. Huffing and puffing I pad to the bathroom, avoiding the creaky floorboards on the way. I tiptoe past the toddler’s lair, desperate not to wake her as I brush my teeth and wash my face.

I look dead. Continue reading »

A desperate choice

22 Thursday Nov 2012

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When my baby was 7 weeks old, I left her.

As I drove away from the house, knowing my tiny girl was peacefully sleeping under the watchful gaze of her loving father, I felt sick.

I’d spent nearly a week trying to think of a way I could avoid taking my baby to the police station to fill in paperwork after my car was hit while parked at the side of the road. I drove to a police station ten minutes away and buzzed the intercom. I was told I’d have to travel another fifteen minutes through heavy traffic to a bigger police station. I got cross and upset. “I have a newborn at home who will wake any minute,” I begged. The police officer wouldn’t budge. “I’m sorry, but you need to come in now to get this paperwork sorted,” I was told.

As I drove yet further from my girl, my milk-heavy breasts started to leak. As I sobbed irrational, uncontrollable tears, the milk coursed it’s way through my maternity pads and bra, flowing in a sticky river down my wobbly stomach. Every inch of me wanted to turn around, drive back home and be with my baby. I felt like I had lost an arm. Continue reading »

When being a working mum sucks

20 Tuesday Nov 2012

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My strength at juggling has been tested to the extreme today. And I must admit -  just between you and I – that I have failed. Dismally.

I’ve worked as a presenter on a breakfast radio show since January and since that time we’ve had a few childcare emergencies. In each case, Frog hasn’t been particularly poorly. Either it’s been a cold or a cough or her childminder hasn’t been able to take her because of her own little boy being ill. Today was the first time I’ve been pulled completely in two.

I always promised myself that when I took on a contract that saw me working away from home for part of the day, I wouldn’t let it compromise my number one job: being a mum. Continue reading »