1. Don’t feed the baby before you leave.

That way, the baby will be really hungry and will scream all the way round the supermarket. You will become increasingly panicked by the situation and attempt to breastfeed in the middle of the fruit and veg section. Only to do a Full Frontal Flash at the elderly lady choosing her carrots.

2. Forget the baby wipes.

Then, when your baby does the most disgusting dirty nappy ever, you won’t have anything to clean her with.

3. Make a really big deal out of parking in a parent and child space.

In doing so, make sure you look like a complete idiot by driving across an empty car park with lots of free spaces.

4. Don’t bother learning how the car seat and buggy combination works.

Having survived the inside of the supermarket, you will now end up spending two hours in the car park trying to work out how to unfasten the car seat from the buggy frame. In desperation, you will phone the Mamas & Papas helpline, only to be put on hold for another thirty minutes. You are still in the supermarket car park remember.

5. Have a huge row with your partner.

After all, the car seat issue was his fault.