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You are here: Home / MOTHERHOOD / A weird breastfeeding hangover

A weird breastfeeding hangover

January 26, 2018 by Molly Leave a Comment

I mentioned in my last post that for the first time in a long time my ovaries don’t do that familiar lurch when I see a newborn. This is probably largely because, at the moment, I’m feeling incredibly touched out. When I’m with my three year old there aren’t many moments when she isn’t touching, or asking to touch me.

We stopped breastfeeding three months ago but she’s still as obsessed with my boobs as ever. It’s like a weird breastfeeding hangover. She’s not quite ready to give them up completely – still needs to get  her fix somewhere without going cold turkey.

Sometimes it’s cute. And, just like with breastfeeding, sometimes it’s handy. She always wants to climb onto my knee, snuggle in and poke a hand down my top when she’s tired. It’s like her comfort blanket I suppose. It’s useful to be able to give her that instant relief, especially if she’s screaming at the top of her lungs through exhausted tears. 

But sometimes it’s annoying.

I’m woken, without fail, between 4.30am and 6am by her tweaking one of my nipples. She’ll sleepily walk out of her bed and climb into mine, snuggle in beside me and instantly go searching for a boob to pat before she drops off again. Often I’m fast asleep and only become aware she’s there when I can feel her little hand on my chest. It’s not always comfortable, lying there while she sleeps patting a boob, trying not to roll over in case she realises I’ve taken her “comfort blanket” away from her and she wakes up (and wakes up the rest of the house too).

I’ve asked around and it’s very normal, apparently. There are loads of stories of kids using their mum’s boobs as mini comfort blankets. You just need to do one quick Google to see a load of threads on various parenting forums on the subject. Plus, when I asked about it on my Instagram Stories I was inundated with replies from other mums whose kids do the same thing.

And, you know, on the most part I don’t mind. Given the choice of forcing her off me or letting her have that comfort I’ll go with the comfort every time because, in my opinion, it’s one of my jobs as a mum. So this post isn’t to moan or ask for advice how to stop a habit that’s just a phase and will inevitably end at some point. More a post to mark something that is happening All. The. Time at the moment. And to let you know that if it’s happening in your house too, then you’re not alone!

I recently read something describing a mum as a child’s “anchor”. And I guess, in many ways, that’s what I am for Effie. When she’s tired, under the weather or just in need of some reassurance she’ll always seek me out – and seek out her favourite position with one hand down my top. It has a weirdly instant calming effect. But then, I’m the one who, as a kid, used to be calmed by twiddling people’s ears while I sucked my thumb, so it’s clear to see where she gets the strange quirks from.

Now she’s three she’s able to articulate in some sense why she likes it, and how it makes her feel. She told me “I like it Mummy, it makes me feel warm and happy.” Which is kind of lovely, really (even when it gets annoying). And for those who think it’s harbouring unhealthy attachment habits, I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again – Effie is the most outgoing child I know. She’s confident, has never cried when I’ve left her at pre-school and has never really gone through separation anxiety. Make of that what you will.

So while this phase lasts, I’ve decided to embrace it – even if that means occasionally doing so through gritted teeth. After all, it can’t last forever, right?… Right?!

Tell me, do you have a boob-obsessed tot in your house too? Solidarity.

 

Filed Under: Kids, MOTHERHOOD Tagged With: breastfeeding, ending breastfeeding, Parenting, toddler tantrums, toddlers

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Hello and welcome! I'm Molly Forbes - podcaster, presenter and blogger with a passion for positivity, confidence and body image chat. Regularly writing and vlogging about empowering female issues from a motherhood angle, I also cover lifestyle and fashion topics for like-minded mums who want to rediscover themselves after having children. Thanks for stopping by! Read More…

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If you feel bad about your body you’re less like If you feel bad about your body you’re less likely to do nice things for it, including moving in a way that feels good and eating in a way that feels good. (FYI health is about more than just exercise and nutrition, but let’s get deeper into the exercise thing for a second...)
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Research shows kids who have low body image are less likely to get involved with sports and more likely to skip PE. 
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Want kids to move more? Stop teaching them that one type of body is better than another - because if their body doesn’t look like your version of a healthy / beautiful / successful body not only will they be more likely to feel shame over their body, they’ll be less likely to engage with the very behaviours you want them to do more of (or be more likely to engage with them in an UNhealthy way - compulsive exercise is dangerous).
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Instead:
💕Try talking about the intrinsic benefits of exercise over the extrinsic ones (ie. how it makes you FEEL instead of how it makes you LOOK).
✨Create opportunities for movement where ALL children feel welcome. 
💕Show children diverse representation so they can see sporting heroes with a range of body types and know that movement is for EVERYbody. 
✨Take a zero tolerance approach to appearance based bullying, body shaming and comments that perpetuate weight stigma (including even the hint that fat = bad). 
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(If you’re a teacher or youth leader interested in knowing more about this topic, a #BodyHappyKids workshop will help - follow the link in my bio 🥰❤️)
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[Image description: A multicoloured slide with an overlaid screenshot of tweet by Molly which reads ‘If your intention is to “get kids healthy” then you need to be aware of how weight bias, weight stigma and poor body image are active barriers to health. The end.]
Sharing this outfit pic with you because it’s a Sharing this outfit pic with you because it’s a crying shame only the piles of laundry got to see it, quite frankly. Finally, a pair of pre-loved jeans bought online that are true to size, consistent with the rest of the brand’s sizing and actually fit! 🎉 
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PS heads up - I’ll be doing a Q&A about body image and kids in my Stories on Friday. The Q sticker is up in my Stories now if you’d like to submit a Q! 💕 #BodyHappyKids
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[Image description: Molly is standing in front of the mirror looking very pleased with the fact her new jeans bought from Depop fit her. She is wearing pink patterned jeans with cherubs on them, a pink check jumper and pink trainers. There are piles of laundry on the bed behind her.]
Another photo of us on a walk, because it’s been Another photo of us on a walk, because it’s been our main form of entertainment this year. Anyone else? 
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I honestly now get excited about putting my boots on and being outdoors, even in the rain. I’m going to start hugging trees next and going on wild camping weekends that involve doing a poo behind a tree and making my own fire. Joke.... maybe. 
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Just another reminder that all movement is valid, exercise doesn’t need to have to be about burning calories or even tracking steps in order for it to be “worth it”. Hope everyone’s had a great weekend ❤️
#BodyHappyMum #JoyfulMovement
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Image description: Molly and her two daughters stand on a bridge in the countryside. They are all wearing hiking boots and outdoor clothes and smiling.
My body is good and excellent and my body only bel My body is good and excellent and my body only belongs to me ✨ (Words by Effie May, age 6 💕) #BodyHappyMum
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Image description: A close up of Molly’s bare skin as she hugs herself. It’s dark and part of her body is illuminated by light. She has her eyes closed and is smiling.
“Mummy I wrote a letter to myself,” she said. “Mummy I wrote a letter to myself,” she said. And my heart swelled. Maybe I’m doing an OK job after all 🤞❤️💕 #BodyHappyKids 
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I could leave this caption here but I need to make something clear: if you think it’s great that my daughter - a thin, white, nondisabled, cisgender kid - feels good in her body but you’re not here for the self-love of any kid who doesn’t look like her.... then you’ve missed the point.
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ALL bodies are good bodies, and without this important piece of the puzzle ALL children will be at risk of doubting their body. And what happens when they doubt their body? Well... hating our body doesn’t make us treat it with love, and the same is true of kids. 
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Great, now we’ve cleared that up, can we take a moment to appreciate the incredible phonetic spelling on show here?! 
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Image description: Effie, age 6, stands against a white wardrobe holding up a letter she has written to herself. It is spelled phonetically and reads “My body is good and excellent and my body only belongs to me.”
I used to struggle to buy stuff for myself if I ha I used to struggle to buy stuff for myself if I had any spare cash - not just treats, but basics like pants and tights that fit properly. I’d tell myself I didn’t need it, didn’t deserve it, couldn’t justify the expense. There’s still that little voice (the habit of putting everyone else’s needs first and my own last dies hard it seems) but I’m leaning into exploring why it still sometimes rears its head, instead of always listening to it. 
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I’m trying to buy as much as I can from pre-loved places or small businesses these days, which is why I’m very happy to share with you some of my latest finds: a star dress from Depop (£5), earrings from @kelzojewellery by @ourtransitionallife (£12) and the comfiest tights I’ve ever owned in Raspberry Pie by @snagtights (£6.99) 💕💕💕
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Have you found any great small brands lately? Shout them out in the comments so we can all support in the run up to Christmas. ⬇️⚡️
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Image description: Molly is smiling and sticking out her tongue to the camera. Her hair is freshly dyed a light shade of pink. She’s wearing a pink t’shirt underneath a black and white star patterned slip dress, with bright pink tights and black and pink earrings decorated with a boob design.
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