Your instinct is to protect your children from danger. You want to see them thrive while learning to overcome life’s challenges. Realizing your teen is struggling with substance abuse can be shocking and upsetting. You may not know where to begin, how to support them, or how to get your child the help they need.
In these sensitive situations, it’s imperative to keep a level head and refrain from assigning blame. While you may feel guilt or shame, substance abuse is rarely something an individual can control. Addiction has both physical and psychological components. And while family relationship dynamics can play a part in a child’s substance abuse, they’re not necessarily a contributing factor. Seeking professional help is often crucial to support and recovery.
Seek Professional Substance Abuse Treatment
If your child is a minor, they’re not able to legally seek professional treatment on their own. In most states, your child must reach what’s considered the age of majority. For many areas, the age of majority means reaching their 18th birthday. However, the age threshold can be different in certain states, so it’s important to check.
Knowing whether you can legally admit your child to a substance abuse treatment program will determine your initial steps. In Utah, for example, the age of majority is 18. Admitting your 16 or 17-year-old child for substance abuse treatment in Utah is a decision you can make if you live in the jurisdiction. But if your child has already turned 18, you may want to start with a gentle conversation about their observed behaviors. Ultimately, they will have to admit themselves.
You can bring up the subject of seeking professional treatment or involve addiction counselors in a planned intervention. An intervention facilitated by a professional can keep the conversation factual and productive. They will also assist in explaining different treatment options, such as intensive outpatient versus residential programs. In addition, you may want to seek individual or family counseling to support everyone during the recovery process.
Learn About Addiction
Supporting a child with a substance abuse disorder involves educating yourself about addiction. Although some substances, like alcohol, take longer for addiction to develop, others, such as heroin, are highly addictive. Someone can develop an addiction after one or two uses. So, a child who may think they are just experimenting by trying a substance once may be unable to resist future use.
Addiction can impact anyone, regardless of age, social status, or upbringing. Your child may have made a choice to try a substance and soon found they were unable to stop. Despite wanting to “kick the habit” and escalating negative consequences, they no longer have control over their substance use. Physical and psychological cravings establish a cycle where self-control methods are bound to fail.
Addiction modifies the brain, leading to self-destructive behaviors. People also develop a tolerance to the substance(s) they’re using. A few drinks may have given them the feeling of euphoria in the past. Now, the same person has to consume five drinks to get the same “high.” Understanding how addiction develops can provide insight into and promote compassion for your child’s behavior.
Create Psychologically Safe Spaces
Underneath your child’s behavior are a mix of feelings. They may be scared and unsure if it’s safe to discuss what they’re going through. Even though they may perceive you as a supportive parent, they could be fearful of how you’ll react. If your teen is normally a high achiever, they may also be feeling shame about their substance use. They could be letting your perceived expectations of them get in the way of having an honest conversation.
Psychological safety is when people feel they can speak openly without interpersonal consequences. You’ve probably heard the term discussed at your job. In healthy org cultures, leaders create psychologically safe spaces for employees to take risks, speak authentically, and explore disagreements. Employees are confident they can say what’s on their mind without retaliation.
You can do the same at home with your children. Creating psychologically safe spaces for a teen or child struggling with substance abuse means listening without judging. Let your child talk about their experience with addiction and how they’re feeling. Assure them you’ll support them by outlining what you’re willing to do to help. For instance, explain that you’re able to research treatment programs and talk to their teachers about making up missed schoolwork.
Design a Support Safety Net
Addiction recovery isn’t a one-and-done process. Completing a rehab program is often just the beginning. Your child will need continued support from family members and friends once they’re navigating real-world situations. An example is finding themselves at a social gathering where substances are present.
In these situations, they may need to literally phone a friend to remove themselves from the environment. Having a plan for who to contact and when can be critical to your child’s recovery. Will you be their first point of contact for a ride? And who will be the backup in case you’re not available?
Designing a support safety net includes planning for these types of scenarios. It can also include support measures after a child reaches adulthood and leaves home. While you can create structures for a teen while they’re under your roof, what happens when they go away to college? You may need to research options in your student’s future adopted hometown, such as on-campus resources. Know relapses are possible, and recovery can’t be accomplished alone.
Supporting Your Loved One
Substance abuse can affect any family, regardless of socioeconomic background and relationship dynamics. Discovering your child is struggling with substance abuse may stir a host of emotions, from anxiety to despair. You might feel responsible, but understanding how addiction works can help you realize it’s beyond anyone’s control. Approaching your child with care, seeking professional assistance, and creating a support plan can help your loved one recover.
