body awareness, language, Parenting, public embarrassment, speech development, toddler development
My daughter is going through a “phase”.
It is a rather confusing phase, involving constant questions about certain body parts. Or a certain body PART, I should say.
While we’ve been down the “what do girls have” and “what do boys have” road before, this time it’s different. This time it’s Every. Single. Hour.
It would seem my two year old is consistently perplexed by the difference between boys and girls, men and women. It’s something that troubles her tiny brain, as she tries to work out if the person standing before her has a “willy” or a “tuppy”.*
This would not be a problem if the question was a silent one in her head. It wouldn’t even be a problem if she whispered the question out loud, to me alone.
But she doesn’t.
What follows is a transcribed version of this afternoon’s dash to the supermarket.
Frog (in car): Mummy? You have tuppy?
Me (also in car, trying to park): Yes poppet. I have a tuppy. Because I am a girl.
Frog (later, in supermarket trolley): Mummy? That man? Man has willy?
Me (perusing the pants aisle, all at 25% off): Hmmmm? Yes – that man has a willy. I think. I mean, I assume so. Because he is a boy.
Frog: Mummy? I have tuppy. I not boy.
**Pause to get round veg and nappy selections, before ending at till*
Me: In a minute poppet, I just need to sort out the shopping.
Me (turning red, in a busy queue full of elderly people): Just a sec. Hang on a minute.
Me: Fine. Yes? What’s up?
Frog: You have tuppy?
I have tuppy?
That man (pointing to old man sorting his shopping next to her) – he have willy?
(At this point there is a pause for breath, before a ten decibel roar.)
I NO LIKE WILLIES! I SCARED OF THE WILLY! HATE WILLY! I LIKE TUPPY!
I can never go back.
*NOTE: “Tuppy” would not be my choice word. But my toddler has gone with it, so who am I to argue?
hahaha. Brilliant. Thank your daughter for making me laugh. I can happily laugh at your expense now that my youngest is old enough not to ask anymore. Though what we do now get is “how do you stop having kids”. That was a couple of weeks ago in a store. Lady next to us smiled and said “That is your conversion for the weekend then”. Followed by that feeling of being completely lost for words.
Is this what I have to look forward to?! *gulp*
Small children will ALWAYS choose the Supermarket to embarrass the unmentionables out of you…..my Eldest, during a nice chat with the checkout Lady, informed her “We’ve just been to the Drs and he looked at Mummies BOTTOM…..he said it was very nice!!” whilst the Middle one skipped round Asda chanting “COCK-PORN” at the top of her voice because she thought she was being clever, reversing the starting letters for POPCORN!! It was easily a fortnight before I managed to go back…….
Your girls sound hilarious – I’d love to see you lot at a supermarket. It’d make me feel far better about my own “WILLY” shouting child! xx
This is why I do online shopping and they bring it to me. AND it’s a different driver every week if H happened to say anything slightly embarrassing. It’s safer!!
Ghislaine Forbes said:
I can hear and see little madam saying this. There is no way of distracting her once she’s got the bit between her teeth! She wouldn’t let go once her da da had mentioned buying her a green ice lolly. It came up at 2.30 am and again at 4.30am between sobs of “go downstairs.” She was finally satisfied with an orange ice lolly the next day, then shut up. Love ma x
Middle-Aged Matron said:
I hoped that the fact I have a boy and a girl who are always bathed together would solve this difficulty, but unfortunately both are still as fascinated by gender differences as ever. And I know many a grown woman who shares your daughter’s ambiguous opinion of the male member!
Hollie Smith said:
Ha ha! This reminds me of how my friend used to insist on using the ‘right terms’ for the various, um, parts, which lead to her then two-year-old daughter calling the lady bit a ‘china’ – and bringing fresh meaning to phrases such as ‘me old china’, ‘china in your hand’ and ‘bringing out the best china for the guests’, etc…!
on-line shopping. They deliver but possibly the deliver person might be a man with a willy.