08 Sunday May 2011
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The giggle when you’re tickled.
The thumb-in-mouth reflex when the magic blanket touches your face.
The conducting of an imaginary orchestra when you’re excited.
The puckering of your mouth when you’re in a mood.
The babbling of “mamamama” before sleep reaches you.
And yes, even the way you poo on the carpet. Even that I love.
These are the things I want to remember. Because I know that in a few weeks you’ll have changed again.
03 Tuesday May 2011
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bath, cuddle, listography, sleep, tea
There’s nothing quite like having baby to make you appreciate a lie-in. Or a cup of tea. Or a long hot bath.
In the days pre-Frog I used to have high expectations of a weekend. It wasn’t a success unless it involved drinking, dancing, eating and more drinking. Now I’m far lower maintenance. Make me a cup of tea and I’m yours, run me a bath and you’ve got me for life.
So I’m all for this week’s Listography over at Kate Takes 5. If you haven’t come across this little gem before, let me introduce you.
Kate’s all about the lists. As am I. Every week she gives us a new prompt and we have to list our top 5. This week it’s simple pleasures. So, here are mine:
I appear to have turned into an old woman and now find myself sighing “ahhh” after the first sip. I still refuse to join the (self-proclaimed) Northern Love Machine in referring to a cup of anything hot as a “brew” though.
I don’t feel I need to elaborate on this. If you’re a mother you’ll get it.
See above.
I’ve recently gone freelance (as a journalist) and there’s nothing quite like the buzz of having an article idea commissioned, or being booked to do a radio shift. It shows I’m still good at what I do (despite having a baby and regularly experiencing moments of self-doubt) and keeps the porridge from the dinner table for another day.
I would trade in all of the above for just one cuddle with Frog. I’m not on about the type of cuddle where she’s straining to escape. Or even the one where she’s simply humoring me. I’m on about the type of cuddle where she puts her head on my shoulder and her arms round my neck and hugs me back.
An unreciprocated cuddle
02 Saturday Apr 2011
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Dear Mr Circus Ringmaster,
I would like to offer my services as the new act in your circus. Let me tell you why.
It turns out I’m a very good juggler. I can juggle approximately seven things at once and am well on my way to adding an eighth item. But I don’t use balls. No, I’m far more masterful. I juggle with babies, wedding plans, radio work, washing, feature writing, ironing, blogging and playing. And I’m soon to add that elusive eighth item: keeping my accounts in order.
Oh, and my talents don’t end there. I’m also a pretty mean tightrope walker. I can spectacularly maneuver from the beginning of the day to the end with perfect balance. (I’ve only fallen off once, when my baby refused to nap. That crash left me in tears in a heap on the floor, but since then I’ve regained my balance.)
And have I told you what a great clown I am? Apart from the brilliant clown-like make up I manage to pull off every day (you try applying eyeliner and blusher when your teething baby’s kept you up through the night), I’m also pretty funny. My baby reckons so anyway – my raspberries keep her amused for hours.
That’s not all. I can tame the most ferocious lion. This lion’s roar is so loud it makes the walls shake. And she bites with razor sharp teeth. Granted, she only weighs about 17 lbs and has a fine wisp of mane, but she’s scarier than the heaviest, hairiest beast.
The only thing I can’t do is acrobatics. It just wouldn’t feel right to subject your audience to the sight of me in a leotard.
I look forward to hearing from you.
Yours sincerely,
Mother’s Always Right
10 Thursday Mar 2011
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In my efforts to become more of a lover (again, not that kind) I am taking part in the Reasons to be Cheerful 1,2 and 3 bloghop.
For those of you not “down” with the blog lingo (yes mum, that’s you) here is how it works: Mummy From The Heart starts us off with her three reasons to be cheerful. We then follow her lead and list our own reasons. Pretty simple really.
So, here are my reasons to be cheerful this week:
There you are, then. This is what my life has become. Cheerful because I only wet my pants a little and the baby has given up eating poo. Oh the glamour.
27 Sunday Feb 2011
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I fully intended to write this review last night. But after listening to the Massage for your Mind MP3, I promptly fell asleep in a blissed-out state, dribbling on the sofa.
So, it’s fair to say it works.
Like many new mums, I live in a constant state of sleep deprivation but am often too tired to properly sleep at night. I lie in bed, imagining I can hear the baby crying and trying to work out how long until she wakes up. I’ve got at least 3 hours, now I’ve got 2 hours, now she’ll be up any minute, better stay awake…I can almost guarantee that on the nights Frog does sleep all the way through, I will need a wee every hour, or the (self proclaimed) Northern Love Machine will have a particularly bad bout of snoring.
I am a woman on the edge.
So when I was given the opportunity to review the Massage for Your Mind MP3 from the Holistic Heartbeat Store (available to buy at £8.99) I thought I would give it a go. I have nothing to lose, right?
The MP3 is billed as a self-help hypnosis download to “help improve mental calmness, physical relaxation, confidence, competence, and better quality sleep”. Now, I’m no Paul McKenna, but I have tried a touch of Yoga in my time and dabbled with the odd relaxation CD and, in my limited experience, this one knocks spots off the others.
The audio begins with a hypnotic loop track which is non-intrusive and very relaxing. It complements the soft tones of Peggy Melmouth, the woman behind Massage for Your Mind, who takes us through a whole self-hypnosis session in just 20 minutes.
At this point, things get a little hazy. I have listened to the MP3 three times and still could not tell you exactly what was on it. But I think that is kind of the point. You are not meant to focus too much on what is being said, but are encouraged to let the sounds and voice wash over you. The audio is cleverly layered in parts, adding to the overall effect. The result? A floaty feeling, like the one you get just before you fall asleep. I feel as if I have just walked out of a head to toe pamper session at a posh spa (fat chance) or been fanned and fed grapes by an army of minions. This must be how Cheryl Cole feels every night. No wonder she looks so bloody good.
So, in short, I would recommend Massage for Your Mind to anyone like me – that is, those who are sleep deprived and need a pamper session but can’t afford a Spa Day. Now all I need is someone to do the night feeds and stop my man snoring.
Peggy Melmouth kindly donated the Massage for Your Mind MP3 for this review.
22 Tuesday Feb 2011
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Since having a baby, I’ve taken to daydreaming. This is partly because I spend my days in a half-awake / half-asleep state. And partly because, when you have a baby, there are many things you can no longer do. Not without at least two months planning anyway.
The lovely Kate Takes 5 appears to also enjoy a good daydream. In this week’s Listography, she is challenging other bloggers to list the 5 ingredients to their perfect day. Brilliant. I can give my imagination free-reign to daydream away. Because, let’s face it, the chances of any of these actually happening are slim to none at the moment….
1. An unbroken night’s sleep, followed by a lie-in.
OK, so this is technically two things and I am probably cheating here, but they both involve sleep so I think it should be allowed. Sleep is a much under-rated and unappreciated thing when you don’t have a baby. I hold fond memories of the days I could laze in bed until I felt like getting up. One last thing, I want my lie-in to involve being brought a cup of tea in bed.
2. Someone else to cook me a scrumptious breakfast of Eggs Benedict…and to clear up afterwards.
Food always tastes better when it’s cooked by someone else. It also tastes better when you don’t have to share it with your (BLW) baby and don’t have to scrape it off the walls afterwards.
3. Swimming with my baby
I’m not going to go all mushy here. But I bloody love going swimming with Frog. She loves it and it is brilliant fun. So, on my perfect day, once the nanny has got Frog up and given her breakfast, I am happy for her to be handed to me for a swim. As long as I can hand her back afterwards so I can have a jacuzzi and go in the steam room.
4. A meal out with the (self-proclaimed) Northern Love Machine
It doesn’t have to be anywhere particularly fancy. But it does have to be just the two of us and involve lots of wine and some tasty food. I’m not fussy about what sort of food. As long as there’s plenty of it, with gallons of wine, I don’t care.
5. Sambucca and dancing
I realise I am now sounding like a bit of a boozer, but in my pre-baby days, a night out wasn’t a night out unless Sambucca was involved at some point. I expect I would only have to sniff the stuff now and I would be on the floor. But I’d like to give it a go. It would help with the dancing to come later on, with all my mates. Not fussy about the music, but it would help if 99 Red Balloons was in there somewhere.
21 Monday Feb 2011
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Have you ever been so tired you have walked past a wheelie bin and thought it looked rather comfy? Have you ever been so tired you feel all drunk and floaty and a bit giggly…before realising you’re at baby swimming lessons and should probably get a grip before someone calls Social Services?
Well I have. In fact, it is quite normal for me to feel like this at least once a week.
Sleep deprivation is a funny old thing. It can make you swing from feeling physically sick to ravenously hungry. You can be laughing hysterically one minute and crying hysterically the next. In short, it makes you a bit barmy. Actually, sleep deprivation is not particularly funny at all.
The worst thing about sleep deprivation has got to be not knowing when it will end. Before you have a baby, you know that, even if you are really really tired, you will be able to give in to sleep at some point in the near future. Not when you have a baby, though, oh no. Imagine running a marathon and being told at the finish line you have an indefinite distance still to cover. Then you have some idea of what being a new mum is like.
The thing is, Frog is not a particularly bad sleeper. She is not the worst, but she is not the best. She has slept through the night a few times. But then she throws a massive curve ball and is up every hour or so.
As if it is not bad enough being up all night with a miserable baby, you then have to field questions about it. Is it a growth spurt? Teething? Too hot? Too cold? Has she picked up a bad sleep association? I don’t bloody know! I barely even know my own name I’m so tired!
So I ring my mum for sympathy. Fat chance. “Well at least you know how I felt. You didn’t sleep through the night until you were five.” Great, thanks Mum.
Haggard old crone + baby
09 Wednesday Feb 2011
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I was going to write all about the joys of being a pop star today.
I say going to because I’m not anymore. That post will have to wait until another day, because I just have to share these amazing photos that my photographer friend emailed me.
They are by a mum in Helsinki. While her baby girl sleeps, she creates these wierd and wonderful fantasy worlds around her, from whatever she can find lying around.
While these photos do make me go aaaaaaaah, I can’t help feeling maybe she has a bit too much time on her hands. Of course, this could just be the inner Competetive Mum in me. Outdone again. Damn.